To expect an outdoor gym to not be used as a playground by children?

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

Went for a run yesterday and afterwards went into an outdoor gym which is (unfortunately) next to a kids' play park. There are some weights attached to vertical beams, an exercise bike, ropes, cross trainer and markings on the ground for relay runs. Loads of signs saying age 13+ only and children weren't to use it as play equipment.

It was absolutely over run with small kids aged about 4-10 climbing all over it, using the equipment and just generally getting in the way while their parents sat in the play park in clear sight of them doing nothing. When I did manage to use some equipment kids were waiting as if we were taking turns. I'd been on the exercise bike for about 15 minutes with one little girl who was about 6 staring at me...she went to get her mum who actually came and asked if her DD could have a go as she'd been waiting for ages I said no this bike is for adults and they she got all huffy and was all "Never mind darling, the lady won't get off so we'll have to just wait won't we". I was then doing relays on the markings and they were running in front of me nearly knocking into me. I gave up in the end!

Is it really so much to ask that parents tell their children to keep out of adult only areas and stay in the massive park built for children? Want to go again today as it's a great little gym, council spent a small fortune but CBA with all the unsupervised kids.

I am surprised that outdated notions of children knowing their place still exist. I also think yes, some compassion for children over the last year or so is warranted, I mean when did you ever have to live through a pandemic as a child?

Who said children should 'know their place'?

I've lived through a pandemic and I've been hit FAR worse than either of my children. They got to stay at home and play, they're fine. I've had a year of gyms being closed, remote teaching, a pay cut when I was furloughed and being isolated with only children for company. Heaven forbid I want to use a bit of gym equipment on peace without being expected by entitled parents to make way for a person who shouldn't even be using it

Creativity doesn't really stem from rules and boundaries so it depends on your outlook as a parent.

Breaking rules isn't imperative in expressing creativity either so yeah it does depend on a parents' outlook

We really need to get over this notion that children are traumatised by every event and every micro decision we make. They WILL be fine if you tell them no now and again. Even if they have a tantrum, isn't the basic rule of parenting not to pander to every tantrum.

@trixies

I don't think the soft play analogy is ridiculous.

Soft play has signs up saying that it's for certain ages only.

This outdoor gym also has such signs up.

Your view is that the signs can be disregarded based on your risk assessment, and that it's OK for a child who is younger than the age on the sign to ask an adult to stop using the equipment.

You do not think it would be OK for an adult to ask a child to stop using the soft play equipment, though you've not indicated why - if both are polite, what's the harm?

(I have plenty of compassion for children over the last year or so. It's why I would not hog their playground. Equally, I have compassion for adults who've not had access to gyms for the last year or so, with the consequent impact on their wellbeing. I appreciate that you think that children take priority over everyone else, but I don't. I used to teach children, I really like children, but adult spaces are necessary for us all to rub along together.)

Well said.

I do wish certain players would just admit they have very little regard for the welfare of adults and are Farsi to say 'no' to their children. It's very obvious that's what it boils down to. Because all this nonsense about inquisitiveness and curiosity is a red herring - if these posters have any imagination they'd find other ways to cultivate that. But seemingly barging in on the leisure time of others is the ONLY way for Diddums (yes I'll use that word because that's how children are clearly regarded) to express himself and be happy

*afraid not Farsi 🤦🏼‍♀️

You seemingly don't care about the welfare of adults either, I asked in previous posts, how do you know the Mother asking you was not stressed, overwhelmed, functioning on her last reserves of energy? So many assumptions and judgement on your part about her parenting skills or in your opinion her lack of them. You don't know the woman, how can you possibly form an opinion of her child, her parental techniques, her lifestyle from this one interaction. Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded.

Maybe she was stressed but then it's up to her to find an option that's suitable and available for her child. Not just take what I was legitimately using. I don't go about my life letting every random stranger take things from me they shouldn't have just in case they may be stressed. I'm not so self deprecating as to always put myself last based on random assumptions.

If she was on her last reserves, I do sympathise it's up to her to find something available for her child, not me.

What I DO know is that exercise greatly improves how I feel, it's been in short supply this last year and things like outdoor gyms are valuable to me at the moment.

It's not like I was depriving her kid of all the fun. Did you forget there's a children's play park 10m away. You know, the thing that's safe and suitable?

I am not the type of person to think "I'm going to disadvantage myself greatly on the random and unfounded assumption that this parent is on her last reserves and the only solution is for her child to kick me off her gym equipment I'm entitled to use and she isn't". Thankfully I have more self worth than that

This is so frustrating, open your mind a bit and try and comprehend that parents are not all the same. I do care about my child's curiosity, how that ties in to boundaries and limitations, challenging things, understanding they have strong feelings/emotions about things and it is important to me to listen those. You might not agree but I'm not asking for your permission, I am trying to encourage you to understand that people genuinely don't all think the same or act the same.

I can very much open my mind to the fact that people have different parenting styles. I have no problem with that.

What I do have a problem with is when those parents expect me to stop doing something I enjoy, something I need to do and am entitled to do, to facilitate their parenting style.

I could NEVER imagine being so very arrogant that I think the rest of the world has to go along with however I've decided I want to raise my child, especially is I was trying to restrict their enjoyment so my child could "have strong feelings" and "curiosity". Could you REALLY not parent that way whilst also not riding roughshod over everybody else around you?

Part of raising children is showing them what consideration looks like. That includes saying "I know you want to go on that exercise bike, but it's for adults and that lady is on it exercising, it would be unkind to try and kick her off".

It's so glaringly simple that I can't believe I actually have to point this out to another adult.

And you may care about your child's curiosity but no one else does. Best you know that now.

my neice used one of the rowing machines when she was 10, despite signs saying for over 13.
She broke her leg.

they really are not for kids

So you are a teacher and you don't care about children's curiosity?

But that's not what happened, she didn't kick you off, she asked to go on the equipment.

and for those of you saying 'explore their curiosity and do your own risk assessment' yep she was with her parents, and they did just that but were not aware how strong the spring back was, and as she wasn't sitting on properly (due to height) it sprang back against her leg.

There really is a reason for the over 13 sign.

And also.

I have kids aged 13, 16 and 18, the last year has been tough for them too, they would like to use the area set aside for them without worrying about little kids.
Why do little kids always take priority over older kids and adults?

They don't. Stop being so bloody entitled. If the sign says no, then follow it.

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Part of raising children is showing them what consideration looks like. That includes saying "I know you want to go on that exercise bike, but it's for adults and that lady is on it exercising, it would be unkind to try and kick her off".

It's so glaringly simple that I can't believe I actually have to point this out to another adult.

I agree and I find it terrifying that anyone wouldn't. My preschooler is familiar with the concepts of 'that isn't yours/ours' and ''we have to think of other people' - he isn't good or consistent in applying them so that's when I have to, y'know, parent, but the basic concepts are not exactly tricky or traumatising.

The bath text message incident is absolutely not the same.

Parents have to assess risk every day. Yes they may make mistakes. But I wouldn’t try and police the exercise equipment, it would be none of my business if a parent wants to let their child on it. As I said, as long as they wait their turn. She wasn’t ‘kicking you off!’

Just because I'm a teacher it doesn't mean I care about some random entitled person's child's curiosity (which actually is not curiosity but parents entitlement so they don't have to say no). I owe you no explanations of how I feel about my own pupils. Your children presumably won't be one of my pupils so no I don't care about their curiosity

Why on Earth do you think other people should care about your child's "curiosity"??

The bath text message incident is absolutely not the same.

I believe I very much didn't say it was the same. I used it as an example that just because someone has had a child it doesn't give them the skills to identify risk properly.

She wasn’t ‘kicking you off!’

How wasn't she? Or how wasn't she trying to?

Imagine being in a park with all the incredible natural things around you and thinking that big rigid metal exercise machines are what, out of everything, could develop your child's creativity and curiosity in the world.

And yes, I'm a teacher. I would be telling any child who was interested to know what those machines are and then very quickly drawing their attention to all the things we can find, do, create, in the woods or some part of the park that actually is likely to stimulate their minds and imaginations and rather than just sit on a machine that performs the same movement over and over.

And you may care about your child's curiosity but no one else does. Best you know that now.

Equally you may care about your fitness, but no one else does. Best you know that now before you dare to suggest to me that I should remove diddums from the stationary bike .

Meanwhile, back in the real world where we're all trying to get on with each other without stepping on each other's toes...

The funny thing is that actually I agree with you on this issue, OP. Children should not be on adult exercise equipment. But I really, really hope we don't live near you as I've no desire to come across such a sour lemon in our local parks.

Re read the op and actually the running in front of you on the relay track and getting in your way would actually bother me more than them asking to use the exercise bike!

@Tallybeebloom I'm frankly amazed that, as a teacher you deign you go out in public lest you get in the way of children exploring their curiosity

On a serious note your post is totally spot on, and just reinforces my belief that the whole "curiosity" guff is a red herring and it's really about parents being frightened to say 'no' to their child