To expect an outdoor gym to not be used as a playground by children?

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

Went for a run yesterday and afterwards went into an outdoor gym which is (unfortunately) next to a kids' play park. There are some weights attached to vertical beams, an exercise bike, ropes, cross trainer and markings on the ground for relay runs. Loads of signs saying age 13+ only and children weren't to use it as play equipment.

It was absolutely over run with small kids aged about 4-10 climbing all over it, using the equipment and just generally getting in the way while their parents sat in the play park in clear sight of them doing nothing. When I did manage to use some equipment kids were waiting as if we were taking turns. I'd been on the exercise bike for about 15 minutes with one little girl who was about 6 staring at me...she went to get her mum who actually came and asked if her DD could have a go as she'd been waiting for ages I said no this bike is for adults and they she got all huffy and was all "Never mind darling, the lady won't get off so we'll have to just wait won't we". I was then doing relays on the markings and they were running in front of me nearly knocking into me. I gave up in the end!

Is it really so much to ask that parents tell their children to keep out of adult only areas and stay in the massive park built for children? Want to go again today as it's a great little gym, council spent a small fortune but CBA with all the unsupervised kids.

@trixies

I'm absolutely going to head for the soft play as soon as it opens. It doesn't matter than I'm 35 years old - my creativity and inquisitiveness are calling me, and I will not be stifled by silly rules about age limits! Wheeeeeeee!

Make sure you're polite and confident when you barge past the toddlers to jump in the ball pool. You can behave however you like as long as it's in an obnoxious polite tone

I strongly disagree with the notion of an older child not being able to ask a question for themselves. It is very much subscribing to the seen and not heard brigade which I think society has moved away from- rightly so in my mind.

Did you mean to say, 'I teach the children of entitled parents'. I assume even for a hardliner of the seen and not heard brigade, you meant, 'some children' or are all children you teach entitled. Do they actually think they're entitled to talk to you, an adult, in a lesson, God forbid!

I can see we are from very different walks of life so we are never going to agree on this.

@JackieTheFart

I mean it would seem that most gyms have a ‘not under 12’ policy for their gym equipment so I’m not sure why stuff in the park is considered a free for all just because it’s not inside.

Because little Jimmy simply can't be expected to just have fun on the kids stuff. He's a confident little genius, inquisitive and curious and everyone in a 500m MUST centre him and pander to this lest he grow up to think the world doesn't revolve round him. Personally, I'd find it a privilege he if Little Jimmy wanted to boot me off something I'm using so that I can witness his inquisitiveness. I'm only a silly woman, not half the wonder Little Jimmy is afterall.

I am not sure about engaging with such hyperbolic nonsense. For goodness sake, you sound like you have bee indulged yourself with all this protestation of your rights over an exercise bike. I don't know how anyone can li e with such angry thoughts ll the time it must be quite stressful.

@OhShitShit

I’m torn. Prepared to be flamed too....

Normally I’d say YANBU, and I certainly don’t let my DS play on the adult gym equipment BUT for over a year now- until last week- parents have had nowhere to take their kids except the local park. (Where we live we’ve only had a break from lockdown / additional measures for a few weeks all year)

Even the most avid swings and slides enthusiast will be bored of them by now.

Kids have given up an awful lot this year. There have been no classes, no soft play, school closures, no swimming, no travelling, no grandparents, no days out for such a long time...

I understand why you were annoyed, I really do. To be honest though, I’d find it hard to get upset on my own account in the current context.

We've all lost a lot this past year. That's no excuse for the parents to allow their children to hamper others' use of the facility.

@Goldenbear so actually you agree the kids shouldn’t be using the equipment, you just take issue that children shouldn’t ask an adult to get off?

Why are you arguing grammar and semantics now? Your whole argument seems to be that it’s been a hard year, your parents wouldn’t have told you to get off so no one should because won’t someone think of the poor kids?! Not forgetting of course that adults who might want to use the equipment designed for their use clearly have no imagination and don’t care about the safety of children...

I strongly disagree with the notion of an older child not being able to ask a question for themselves. It is very much subscribing to the seen and not heard brigade which I think society has moved away from- rightly so in my mind.

No one is saying children can't ask questions. But they have to be appropriate, not just whatever they fancy. Asking an adult to get off an adult-only piece of equipment they're using for exercise so they can have a play, is not appropriate, it's rude. Unless you think they can blindly ask anyone any question they feel like?

Did you mean to say, 'I teach the children of entitled parents'. I assume even for a hardliner of the seen and not heard brigade, you meant, 'some children' or are all children you teach entitled. Do they actually think they're entitled to talk to you, an adult, in a lesson, God forbid!

What the Merry fuck are you going on about now? Stop making things up. How embarrassing. I don't think children should be "seen and not heard" simply they should be appropriate and considerate. That's all.

Why do you think I don't let children talk in a lesson would be a shit day if my pupils were all silent.

And yes some pupils I teach are the children of entitled parents. It doesn't always mean the kids are entitled, many are perfectly lovely (and I feel sorry for them with parents having failed them by allowing them to think they're above rules), it's that they have NO coping skills, they have no boundaries and can't adapt at all to the real world. This creates genuine struggle, it's hard to watch and 99% of the time I could tell the parents exactly where they've gone wrong. I personally think it's more important to ensure that doesn't happen than allow their "inquisitiveness" to flow aged nine by demanding an adult get off something because they want to use it.

Tell your kid to park on the equipment installed for them. It's really that simple. Nothing bad will happen, the only thing they'll learn is that some things aren't for them

@Goldenbear

I am not sure about engaging with such hyperbolic nonsense. For goodness sake, you sound like you have bee indulged yourself with all this protestation of your rights over an exercise bike. I don't know how anyone can li e with such angry thoughts ll the time it must be quite stressful.

I'm not angry, I'm thoroughly enjoying taking the piss because frankly your posts warrant it.

Yes I have a right to use an exercise bike in an outdoor gym. A child doesn't. They could get hurt, me refusing to get off a bike will more likely prevent harm than cause it. What's so hard to understand?

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop I will make sure that I ask every toddler present, politely and confidently, to please get out of the way so that I can have my turn. I might also bring a friend posing as my mum, and get her to ask for me and be passive aggressive when the toddler kicks off. This is how it works, right?

Inspired by this thread, I'm going to share a song from the stage musical Matilda which I think sums some people's feelings up perfectly:

[Kids]

My mummy says I'm a miracle
My daddy says I'm his special little guy
I am a princess
And I am a prince
Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky

My daddy says I'm his special little soldier
No one is as handsome, strong as me!
It's true he indulges my tendency to bulge
But I'm his little soldier!
Hop, 2-4-3!

My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face, and it's plain to see
Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me!

My daddy says I'm his special little soldier
No one is as bold or tough as me
Has my daddy told you
One day when I'm older
I can be a solider
And shoot you in the face!

[Adult]

One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days
It seems that there are millions of these one-in-a-millions
These days
Special-ness seems de rigueur
Above average is average - go figure
Is it is come modern miracle of calculus
That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-Miraculous

[Parents]
Take another photo of our angel in that costume that I made
The role of tree has never been portrayed with such
Convincing sway
That's right, honey, look at mummy!
Don't put honey on your brother
Smile for mummy; smile for mother!
I think she blinked
Well, take another!
Have you seen his school report? He got a 'C' on his
Report
What?!
We'll have to change his school. His teacher's clearly
Falling short
She's just delightful
So hilarious and
Insightful
Might she be a little brighter than the norm?
I know to boys it's frightful form!

[Kids]

My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face, and it's plain to see
Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me!
My mummy says I'm a miracle
That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball
You can be all cynical, but it's a trust empirical
There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as me!

[quote trixies]@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop I will make sure that I ask every toddler present, politely and confidently, to please get out of the way so that I can have my turn. I might also bring a friend posing as my mum, and get her to ask for me and be passive aggressive when the toddler kicks off. This is how it works, right?[/quote]
Spot on

Make sure mummy gives you a round of applause too

Because I don’t see why the child shouldn’t use it. Fair enough that she waits for the adult to finish but asking politely when she will be finished isn’t a problem IMO

Just say ‘I’ll be 10 more minutes, then you can use it’. Not a big deal is it?

Sorry that was @FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

@Cat2014

Because I don’t see why the child shouldn’t use it. Fair enough that she waits for the adult to finish but asking politely when she will be finished isn’t a problem IMO

Just say ‘I’ll be 10 more minutes, then you can use it’. Not a big deal is it?

Because the age restrictions say 13+ and she wasn't 13. No other people who were supposed to use the bike were in the outdoor gym so why would should I cut my time short on it to cater for someone who has facilities for them 10m away.

Would you object to me running in the kids' area and barging past little kids to go down the slide?

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop
Like I say, not necessarily cut time short no. But not unreasonable for child/parent to ask the question

Hmm. Again not the same as ‘barging past little kids to go down the slide’ but to indulge you, if I were playing with my toddler in a park I may well go down the slide with him and expect to be allowed a turn before a child in the queue before me!

*after me

Lots of things say certain age restrictions but are routinely ignored. It’s just to cover themselves

@Cat2014 well yes a parent taking a toddler down the slide is different - the key part being it's to help the child. But what need does a child have to go on equipment that's dangerous for them? There's no "taking turns" for children in facilities that strictly exclude them

I would say whether or not it’s dangerous is up to the parent to assess. The difference being that if an accident did happen the owners of the equipment couldn’t be liable because of the sign. Other than that I still think the child could be allowed on it if parent deems ok.
Yes they should wait their turn but I just couldnt get worked up about this as the adult in this scenario

JackieTheFart, I don't believe I have said that the child shouldn't be using the equipment. I've said part of being a parent is assessing risk because otherwise your child will be restricted both physically and mentally.

I haven't said anything about Grammar, why would I, mine isn't exactly great! The hyperbole includes the ridiculous posts about soft play. It is pretty clear they are not the same thing. It does sound like the OP isn't keen on children.

I am surprised that outdated notions of children knowing their place still exist. I also think yes, some compassion for children over the last year or so is warranted, I mean when did you ever have to live through a pandemic as a child? I did loads with my children but my youngest likes school, missed her friends and was very sad. I don't think it is such a great hardship to remember that when you have children or work with them!! I work in education, nothing to do with teaching at all but I don't see all these entitled 'brats', they are just normal teens with flaws like the rest of us.

Some people bring their children up differently, it doesn't mean it is hindering them. Creativity doesn't really stem from rules and boundaries so it depends on your outlook as a parent.

I don't think the soft play analogy is ridiculous.

Soft play has signs up saying that it's for certain ages only.

This outdoor gym also has such signs up.

Your view is that the signs can be disregarded based on your risk assessment, and that it's OK for a child who is younger than the age on the sign to ask an adult to stop using the equipment.

You do not think it would be OK for an adult to ask a child to stop using the soft play equipment, though you've not indicated why - if both are polite, what's the harm?

(I have plenty of compassion for children over the last year or so. It's why I would not hog their playground. Equally, I have compassion for adults who've not had access to gyms for the last year or so, with the consequent impact on their wellbeing. I appreciate that you think that children take priority over everyone else, but I don't. I used to teach children, I really like children, but adult spaces are necessary for us all to rub along together.)

Bemused at this thread . There is so much grumpiness on both sides.

In one camp, you have those who seem to think that the majority of antisocial behaviour in this country is committed by feral toddlers as their adoring parents coo delightedly. Very much "children should be seen and not heard" and a lot of nastiness about "entitled parents" and "little diddums". It's really quite unpleasant.

On the other hand, you have those who think their children should be able to "explore" and "express themselves" and "challenge the rules", even when the equipment is clearly limited to an older age group. This is also problematic... children who grow up thinking the rules don't apply to them are going to have problems later on in life.

In reality, many parents of young children (and non-parents) inhabit a middle ground. Parents might (absent an explicit age restriction) guiltily let their small children explore the gym equipment in quiet times while knowing they really shouldn't and slink away embarrassed if anyone else comes to use it. Non-parents are perfectly capable of asking pleasantly "Excuse me, do you mind if I use this?" (the inference being, please remove your small menaces from being in the way...) without fizzing with disapproval and muttering under their breath about "spoilt brats".

Most of us manage these social interactions without leaving seething resentment on either side. As a parent, I start from the premise that I (and my DC) are probably in the wrong about something or other and that usually helps .

@Cat2014

Lots of things say certain age restrictions but are routinely ignored. It’s just to cover themselves

You don't think 24kg weights that can go up and down on vertical poles are excluded from the use of children for a reason? You don't see the danger in children climbing up equipment far too big for them to hit the concrete is they fall as a hazard?

Did you mean to say, 'I teach the children of entitled parents'. I assume even for a hardliner of the seen and not heard brigade, you meant, 'some children' or are all children you teach entitled. Do they actually think they're entitled to talk to you, an adult, in a lesson, God forbid

^if it wasn’t about grammar then I have no idea what you’re trying to say here.

Compassion doesn’t mean acquiescing to every whim of a child.

As for the rest of your post - don’t be disingenuous. No one has said any kid needs to know their place - they’ve said that age restrictions are there for a reason, and being compassionate towards their lost year (I have three kids, same reason I don’t let them play COD even if they wanted to is because it’s not suitable for them) doesn’t mean giving them completely free rein. I’d even go so far as to say that there are children who’ve lived through far worse than this pandemic.

PS the last paragraph of my post was in direct response to quotes from your own posts - the last one being where you’d said something like ‘what sort of an adult needs outdoor equipment to exercise on and doesn’t have the imagination to just ride a bike or go for a run’.

The whole "it's up to parents to assess risk" - well in terms of public liability, rightly or wrongly, that just doesn't fly. Not every parent is switched on, not every parent can safely risk assess. A woman has just been convicted for manslaughter after her 5 month old drowned in the bath because she left the bathroom for 5 minutes to send a text message. In terms of public facilities, parents cannot just be left to decide for themselves