To expect an outdoor gym to not be used as a playground by children?

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

Went for a run yesterday and afterwards went into an outdoor gym which is (unfortunately) next to a kids' play park. There are some weights attached to vertical beams, an exercise bike, ropes, cross trainer and markings on the ground for relay runs. Loads of signs saying age 13+ only and children weren't to use it as play equipment.

It was absolutely over run with small kids aged about 4-10 climbing all over it, using the equipment and just generally getting in the way while their parents sat in the play park in clear sight of them doing nothing. When I did manage to use some equipment kids were waiting as if we were taking turns. I'd been on the exercise bike for about 15 minutes with one little girl who was about 6 staring at me...she went to get her mum who actually came and asked if her DD could have a go as she'd been waiting for ages I said no this bike is for adults and they she got all huffy and was all "Never mind darling, the lady won't get off so we'll have to just wait won't we". I was then doing relays on the markings and they were running in front of me nearly knocking into me. I gave up in the end!

Is it really so much to ask that parents tell their children to keep out of adult only areas and stay in the massive park built for children? Want to go again today as it's a great little gym, council spent a small fortune but CBA with all the unsupervised kids.

@SundayBloodySunday

You sound deranged. You've been posting for over 24 hours about children essentially playing on playground equipment. You come across as a petty and vindictive individual. I don't know what you teach but you are spending a lot of time obsessing about this nonsense in the park, probably when you should be working.

You're in the wrong job. It's the only thing that explains your irrational rage.

Yes this was the impression I got too

@0gfhty

I would expect more from a teacher. You seem to have a very bitter narrative towards the children you come across, they will pick up on this and this will perpetuate it for you.

Seems to me she's annoyed at parents raising their children without boundaries which means their behaviour impacts on everyone around them.

Children want and need boundaries. Boundaries make them feel safe. If they're pissing about unsupervised on adult gym equipment they aren't safe. They don't have to indulge their natural curiosity absolutely everywhere they fancy. They won't be developmentally damaged from not being allowed in the gym, same way you wouldn't allow them to explore their inquisitiveness by running round someone else's garden, or a casino, or a psychiatric facility. If it's not for kids it's not for kids, tell them no every now and again. They'll thank you for it eventually.

Not the same thing but I was a bit miffed recently when I had to wait several minutes to buy a ticket to park my car in busy shopping street. This was because the people in front of me were two children (approx. 3 and 5 I'm guessing) and their Mum. Not paying for a ticket to park Mum's car which would have been fine. No, they were having a "turn" on the ticket machine - printing off free tickets. This was obviously a regular "activity" for them with Mum's blessing.
Mum said to the smaller one, "Come on darling - the lady needs to buy a ticket" Smaller girl started yelling so she turned to me and said, "sorry, can they just have a go?". Luckily, I wasn't in a huge hurry but I couldn't work out why she'd allowed this to become a "thing". Bloody annoying... I feel your pain OP!

@SundayBloodySunday

You sound deranged. You've been posting for over 24 hours about children essentially playing on playground equipment. You come across as a petty and vindictive individual. I don't know what you teach but you are spending a lot of time obsessing about this nonsense in the park, probably when you should be working.

You're in the wrong job. It's the only thing that explains your irrational rage.

😂😂😂😂

Hilarious!

Coming back to a thread I started to answer questions and respond to post is 'deranged'? Ok then. I'm hardly obsessed, how weird to assume that from one thread about one topic - it would be a bit weird if I suddenly raised another issue like "Oh and isn't it difficult to find shoes in a size 7 these days"

Do you even know how MN works?

Oh and yes @SundayBloodySunday an outdoor gym is not playground equipment. HTH. Maybe RTFT.

Children want and need boundaries. Boundaries make them feel safe. If they're pissing about unsupervised on adult gym equipment they aren't safe. They don't have to indulge their natural curiosity absolutely everywhere they fancy. They won't be developmentally damaged from not being allowed in the gym, same way you wouldn't allow them to explore their inquisitiveness by running round someone else's garden, or a casino, or a psychiatric facility. If it's not for kids it's not for kids, tell them no every now and again. They'll thank you for it eventually

Well said Green. These parents who let their kids explore anywhere at any time really don't realise they aren't doing them any favours.

Yes this was the impression I got too

Then I'm very sorry for you that you struggle so much with reading comprehension

My friends with younger children than mine have started doing this, the not saying no thing. They told me as well ‘don’t tell them no’ you need to explain your reasons without saying no.

I’ve tried to explain that when they start secondary school (even primary tbh) no one is going to give a shit about that you’re just expected to follow the rules sometimes so I wonder how they’d cope.

Also the thing about life not being fair sometimes, how are they being prepared for that?

Resilience is a wonderful thing that I’m worried it’s going to be lost. I’m all for questioning. But why does that have to result in a yes all the time. ‘I can see that you really want to go on that gym equipment but you’re still a bit too young why don’t we talk about how you feel about that’. I mean I couldn’t spend my life doing that, sometimes it’s just a no but for the ones that feel it so keenly 🤷🏻‍♀️.

The ticket machine thing reminds me of those parents that let their children use the self check outs. Massive queue while their DC effectively play shops and it takes forever as they don’t understand where the barcodes are.

Staggered at those posters telling OP that adults (meaning the OP) should be more mature and understanding of the world compared to little children. Yes: the PARENTS here are the adults, who are responsible for teaching the children that sometimes things aren’t for them, which they can’t yet understand.

If I take the kids to see a musical act, can they stand next to the piano demanding their own turn? (Even if the band aren’t playing yet, so what’s the harm??) Jesus fucking Christ.

There’s a massive problem across the globe at the moment, with individualism at all costs affecting politics, economics, and environmentalism, but no one ever wants to examine their own role in the world and what the next generation will look like if we prioritise their feelings and wishes above all else.

Saying no to your children isn’t child abuse.

Parents these days...
I blame their parents

@Sparklingbrook oh yes!!!!! Looking on smiling benignly whilst the flipping cue backs up, because we are using this as a fun teaching moment- isn't my parenting superior........bollocks to everyone juts trying to get home with some shopping...🤣

'But why does that have to result in a yes all the time. ‘I can see that you really want to go on that gym equipment but you’re still a bit too young why don’t we talk about how you feel about that’. I mean I couldn’t spend my life doing that, sometimes it’s just a no but for the ones that feel it so keenly 🤷🏻‍♀️.'

This really made me laugh I blame 'How to Talk so Little Kids will Listen' I read it and tried the techniques and it's absolute rubbish.
My parents technique of saying no and when asked why 'because I said so' is perfectly appropriate for small children although I remember thinking it was terribly unfair as a child

But why does that have to result in a yes all the time. ‘I can see that you really want to go on that gym equipment but you’re still a bit too young why don’t we talk about how you feel about that’. I mean I couldn’t spend my life doing that, sometimes it’s just a no but for the ones that feel it so keenly

Yes, this seems to be the parenting mantra these days. Explain to the nth degree and ask a child how they feel about every last little thing. Mine are almost 9 and 5 so (especially the oldest) have a good understanding of what's safe and appropriate to do. But I think according to many (including so many on here) I'm basically abusing them because if they want to do something that isn't safe I simply say "No because it's not safe/appropriate for your age" and then I don't give into their begging or find a way around why they are above the rules, or ask the person in charge if they just make a teeny exception. Grinch that I am

Also who actually has the time to have in depth talks about why they can't leap off the roof all the live long day?

Mine are 18 and 22 now. i have missed the opportunity to be a 'yes' parent haven't I? I mean they seem to have turned out ok, I must have said no to them loads over the years.
They never had 'tummy time' either, didn't know anything about it. I am guessing they'll be having therapy in their middle age over it all.

So much deep-seated resentment and aggression is coming out on this thread .

Let it out... it must be exhausting keeping it all bottled up.

Yes believing that children will not be damaged by parents saying no and again TOTALLY smacks of being resentful

I strongly suspect it's more a case of this thread really hits a nerve with a certain type of parent.

@Jellybabiesforbreakfast

So much deep-seated resentment and aggression is coming out on this thread .

Let it out... it must be exhausting keeping it all bottled up.

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Yes believing that children will not be damaged by parents saying no and again TOTALLY smacks of being resentful

I strongly suspect it's more a case of this thread really hits a nerve with a certain type of parent.

I think you have properly touched a lot of nerves @FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop. I was actually wondering if the 'yes' Mum you encountered is actually posting on this thread.

I think as with many mumsnet threads the concept of a middle way has long gone

@Jellybabiesforbreakfast

So much deep-seated resentment and aggression is coming out on this thread .

Let it out... it must be exhausting keeping it all bottled up.

Awwwww. Bless you for being so concerned

@TeddybearBaby That's because this stuff is all the rage in the current popular parenting books and it's becoming the done thing in nurseries too (maybe primary schools too? I don't know, DD hasn't started school yet).

When I went to visit nurseries for DD I asked about how they maintain order and how they deal with incidents...I was told "we don't use the word 'no' here, we explain reasons"...and that apparently biting/hitting is "developmentally normal" and it's upsetting when it happens to your kid but it's just one of those things. I was . It was the same in every nursery.
Also no enforced routine for naps, the kids nap "when they're tired".

When I was growing up we were not allowed to hit or bite and there were consequences...naps were at set times, you didn't have to sleep necessarily but you had to lie there and be quiet so that others could sleep. Backchatting an adult was unthinkable (maybe your parents but not anybody else).

But that's considered old fashioned now...it's all about being oh so liberal and "live and let live".

I think you should occupy their Wendy house, see how they feel.

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop I've loved your posts so much, I think you're wasted in teaching (although I'm sure the kids must love you and be well educated). Come the revolution, I'd definitely vote for you as President