To wonder how many couples have shared finances or separate? Let's do a vote

[LieLikeALoungeroomLizard]

To see how common it is

Reason I'm curious us because two very good friends of mine come off considerably worse from non shared finances
Even the one who is married

My personal situation is shared finances and both have a certain amount of spending money each month for extras like going out and buying clothes we want but don't need etc
And it works so well

Anyway let's poll

Vote

Yanbu for, we gave shared finances
Yabu for, we have separate finances

I'm not sure it's as simple as completely shared or completely separate for some people.

We have a joint account which we both our a certain amount of money in each month to cover all bills and food etc. The rest of each of our wages are our own to do with what we want.
This works for us...we don't have children tho.

If one has had to give up work/reduce their owns for child care reasons then it's a different kettle of fish.

Dh and I share our joint expenses (house, household bills, childcare, kid's expenses). We contribute to that account in proportion to our incomes.

But everything else is our own personal money. We don't do the whole put it in one pot and then each take out equal spending money. We work hard for our money and our salary is for us personally, less joint expenses. Over the years, I have been the higher earner and now dh is (as he's self employed so his income can be more variable). I don't need to make him divvy up equal spending money as I can spend within my means (I'm also have quite a good salary), but neither of us would ever go without. If I needed money in any given month, he'd send it over and vice versa.

We've never had a shared account for personal expenses though and personally I never would. I like having my own money and knowing what's in my accounts and not having to discuss what I want to buy with anyone else.

Return of the owl, are you married? And does your system mean you both end up with similar spare money

I don't understand what a vote will prove TBH. Why do you need a poll?

We just have 'money' if that helps. Nobody is keeping tabs on anything.

Mindutopia before we had kids I was the higher earner, but I still, wanted dh, who was dp at the time to have the same spare money as myself not less, and we never need to discuss what we want to buy with each other
As that's what the spending money is for

The vote is purely to see what the most common way is

I do the banking. Shared. DH earns more, always has but I do earn well. It all goes into our main joint account, then a portion gets sent off to another joint account for all the bills. We buy within reason what we like. Big purchases are discussed. It's our money, never yours or mine.

@LieLikeALoungeroomLizard

The vote is purely to see what the most common way is

Yes, but not sure what that will mean to anyone?

I suppose like it has already been said depends on what you mean by shared finances? We don't have a joint account on anything however we also consider all money shared. So we split al the bills between us so each pays an equal share but its done or example: DP pays the gas bill and I pay the water bill. We buy groceries equally but say I buy one lot and he buys another (we both know what we all eat and whats running out etc).

We will just mention wat each has left and if one has less and nees something the other transfers it.

There's no official financial connection but we both view money coming into the home as joint. We don't discuss any purchases really as neither of us is likely to buy something unusual or that puts us out of budget. I suppose we discuss furniture if we need it but thats not often.

Sorry to clarify we are not married but engaged and I have been married before.

Bit of a mix here, each of our salaries are paid in to our seperate current accounts. We also have a joint account where all shared expenses (mortgage, childcare, bills, groceries etc) comes out of - we pay into that half each every pay day, then what is left over in our respective current accounts is our own. We use our seperate current accounts for our mobile phones, I use mine for my car expenses etc. We also have a joint savings account we both pay in to every month and the savings are what we use for holidays and larger home improvements.

We have shared finances but it’s not accurately worked out and it’s flexible each month. My DH earns double what I do, both of us are FT but this is due to working in very different industries. DH probably spends more on stuff just for him because his hobbies are more expensive than mine (and I have little interest in his hobbies) but we don’t keep track.

We each cover certain things. So my wage covers the mortgage, utilities and home insurance. His wage covers the car, the dogs, food, council tax. He buys most stuff when we’re out, say if we stop and grab a drink or lunch. He also buys things like paint if we’re decorating. We then have a shared savings goal each month and work out what each of us needs to save based on other outgoings and things we need to get that month. Some months I need to spend more and some months he needs to spend more and we prefer a more relaxed approach rather than a set amount each. Instead we decide if it’s a month with a lot of expenses (December for example) or a month with a big savings goal or a month which is a bit more relaxed. If we have money left at the end of the month, we transfer to the joint, unless one of us is saving for something specific. If one of us miscalculated slightly or something big comes up, we take out of the joint account. We’re pretty flexible about the other buying something as long as we’ve met our savings goal.

This month, I’ve needed to do two birthday presents, buy some new jeans (I only had one pair) and buy some new bras. This month DH doesn’t need to buy anything, he might buy a game, so he’s covering most of the savings goal this month. In September though, the car is due its MOT, he has two birthdays to buy for and one of the dogs is due their boosters, so he’ll save less as those are all things he covers and I’ll save more that month.

@Sparklingbrook

I don't understand what a vote will prove TBH. Why do you need a poll?

We just have 'money' if that helps. Nobody is keeping tabs on anything.

If you want to know how strangers handle their money this thread appears about twice a week so there is masses of data out there if you look through the threads

However, all you'll find that is that people do different things and tbh that"s obvious before you even ask the question. There's no right or wrong answer.

We earn about the same - my salary is slightly higher but I also pay slightly more into my pension so our monthly take home is roughly the same.

We have separate finances. DH always wanted it that way although I was in favour of a joint account for a while. When the DC were small and I was on maternity leave or working part-time, it was annoying when I had to ask him to transfer money to me for certain things. However now that we earn similar amounts I prefer having separate finances because I feel freer to spend on whatever I want. He's not generally judgy about what I spend on but I know there might be raised eyebrows if I bought, eg an expensive pair of shoes.

Separate here. My wife does all life admin as it's easier for her, in her home country. I transfer the equivalent of about 900 pounds a month to her for that - I'm happy to up it if she needs more. I suppose this wouldn't work if we had kids, SAHP etc.

@LieLikeALoungeroomLizard

Return of the owl, are you married? And does your system mean you both end up with similar spare money

Yes, we are married.

We are lucky to be comfortable off. We can afford holidays, treats and stuff. I have more disposable income then DH...I'm not sure of the exact figure but I guess I have a few hundred extra over him a month. I'll be honest about the reason I don't share it... because frankly I work an awful lot harder and my job is one that is well paid at my level due to a danger element. I love my husband for who he is, he has a comfortable job, but he has no interest in pushing himself up the career ladder, while I do.

If one of us lost our job for example then we'd need to re-evaluate. But while we're both working (with no children), once the bills are sorted what you earn is yours to do what you want with.

We have our own accounts for our wages to go in. Joint account for the bills and childcare once we need it which we both pay 50/50 into. Rest of our money is our own to do what we want with.

You don't need shared accounts to share your finances.

Not are what a poll will prove here.

I wouldn't count your situation as truly shared finances tbh, as you each have a separate pot for sending money. What do you do if you go out for a meal together for example, who pays?

We just have a joint account and everything goes in there and everything is spent out if there. That's what I would define as shared finances. So as pp have said, it's not that simple.

I do pay a bit more into the joint account for the bills tho.

We have no joint account so technically separate.

But we don't do your money and my money style separate, it's more we never bothered to get a joint account.

My wife makes much more money than me but also spends her discretionary cash much more loosely because she's got a good secure job.

I'm self employed so I'm always cautious about having enough in my account for tax, vat and the possibility that there could be a few months were I don't get a pay cheque (I work in law and things can take time to settle and people tend to pay at the end of each legal term rather than month to month)

As a consequence I tend to end up with more savings which we then use for holidays, house projects or over paying off lump sums on the mortgage.

I'd imagine for lots of people who are "separate finances" they're in a similar adhoc system that works for them

If we have a meal out otherwise comes out of the joint account

Our own spending money is purely that

We have a joint account that we both put an equal amount into for household bills but other than that our finances are completely separate. I have no idea how much he earns or has and vice versa. As long as the bills are paid then who cares?

@Returnoftheowl

I'm not sure it's as simple as completely shared or completely separate for some people.

We have a joint account which we both our a certain amount of money in each month to cover all bills and food etc. The rest of each of our wages are our own to do with what we want.
This works for us...we don't have children tho.

If one has had to give up work/reduce their owns for child care reasons then it's a different kettle of fish.

I would describe that as not having shared finances, you split bills. Shared finances to me means you pool all your resources and there is no concept of each having your own.