To wonder how many couples have shared finances or separate? Let's do a vote

[LieLikeALoungeroomLizard]

To see how common it is

Reason I'm curious us because two very good friends of mine come off considerably worse from non shared finances
Even the one who is married

My personal situation is shared finances and both have a certain amount of spending money each month for extras like going out and buying clothes we want but don't need etc
And it works so well

Anyway let's poll

Vote

Yanbu for, we gave shared finances
Yabu for, we have separate finances

Separate bank accounts. He pays rent, internet, water, petrol and other car related expenses. I pay for food, council tax, gas & electric and kids clothes.

My ex was in terrible debt so I learned to not share bank accounts.

We have separate finances as I have had my fingers burnt in a previous relationship plus I've seen too many of my friends have to exain to their OH what they've spent money on.
We share the bills and what's left is our own in our own bank accounts.
When we go out we take it in turns to pay.
My OH earns twice my wage but is very generous towards me, if I mention I'd like something he usually surprises me with it, he also pays for big holidays, my nice car etc.

Separate accounts but bills etc. are split proportionate to our incomes.

Owl, I do see your point

Our salaries are paid into out personal bank accounts, then on pay day we each put an equal amount into a shared account from which all shared bills (including childcare and food) are paid.

Our personal accounts are for personal bills like phones and subscriptions.

I do not want to see the minute details of what DH spends his spending money on because it would probably wind me up. Equally he doesn't want to see what I spend on things like makeup for the same reason.

We earn almost the exact same though, this approach wouldn't work otherwise.

No we have totally seperate finances. We're responsible for certain bills and whatnot.

I didn't vote because it's irritating when it's assigned to an answer.

We share the bills in proportion to our earnings and whatever is left is our own. I have less, but I choose to only work four days too so I think it’s fair. I’ll also have a much better pension so it’s swings and roundabouts really. Neither of us would hesitate to give the other some money if they needed it though.

What's mine is mine and what's his is mine. It's why we got married.
We don't share bills though, he pays them all.
I manage both the business account and our private accounts.
I know what we have, dh hasn't a clue.
I'll often comment about what we have in x account, he either says ok, or right, thanks.

Separate. We both have our own joint accounts into which our salaries are paid. We also have a joint account, into which we both pay £X hundred per month. The mortgage & all household bills are paid from this account. It’s set up to run a modest surplus so there is always cash avail for unplanned events, eg the freezer dying. We take turns to shop for groceries. The rest of our money is our own to spend, save or set fire to as we see fit.

20+ years together and we have never had a single argument about money, because there is nothing to argue about. We don’t have kids, which probably makes this approach easier, but it definitely works for us.

Gamerschick that's fine, it's anyone's free choice if they want to vote or not

When I was married
I was a sahm
And it was totally shared

I am married.
We have a current account each and a joint account. We both pay 50/50 into our joint account for bills including food shopping then our current accounts are for our own saving and spends.
I have recently RTW from maternity leave but while TTC and pregnant I saved extra hard so I still paid my 50/50 into the joint account for bills.

@trappedsincesundaymorn

We have a joint account that we both put an equal amount into for household bills but other than that our finances are completely separate. I have no idea how much he earns or has and vice versa. As long as the bills are paid then who cares?

It's always good to know in case of divorce, less chance of one of you forgetting certain income

Where the pot is very big, and it was in my case when I was married and a sahm and also for my mother who was a SAHM - it’s easy to share the money. There’s no arguments because there’s enough for everything and everyone and lots left over.

Obviously this is a generalisation but my point is - there was no tension between my ex and I nor my mother and father when it came to money - because everyone spent exactly as they wished

We are married, separate finances. Both earn our own income, split the bills - half come out of my account half out of his. Save and spend whatever we want out of the rest. DH earns more than me and pays for meals out or holidays.

Yanbu
We have completely shared finances.
When we first moved in together we paid a percentage of our monthly pay into joint account for bills and groceries, when DC came along everything was put into a joint account that we both have equal access to.
I was a SAHM until DC started school so wouldn't have worked any other way, when I returned to work it continued , everything is pooled, its all money for our family.

Before I was a sahm, and pre children, we were both high earning and in London. Ex earned 40% more so I used to pay him £1k a month and that covered my contribution (our rent was £2.5k.... 12 years ago!

My ex had many faults! But he was and remains the most generous person I know. Earns obscene amount but not hung up about it

All the people going 50:50
Do you earn exactly the same as your partner?

@Returnoftheowl

I'm not sure it's as simple as completely shared or completely separate for some people.

We have a joint account which we both our a certain amount of money in each month to cover all bills and food etc. The rest of each of our wages are our own to do with what we want.
This works for us...we don't have children tho.

If one has had to give up work/reduce their owns for child care reasons then it's a different kettle of fish.

Same for us, and no children here either.

We have a joint account into which we pay equal amounts enough to cover direct debits (mortgage, electricity, etc) with some to spare.

We then have our own accounts for the rest of our money and savings. From this we pay for food, days out, DSs clothes, holidays,etc. I generally pay a bit more of these as I earn more. We end up with roughly the same amount of spending and saving money.

It only works because we have had big promotions in the last decade but haven't upgraded our lifestyle to match, so there's enough spare money not to have to worry about who has paid more in any particular month, we both have a similar mindset to spending/saving and have a good partnership so both want to make sure that it's fair for the other. It probably also helps that our salaries have never been hugely different to each other.

When we first moved in together we had to be a lot more careful as money was tighter, so we would sit together each month to move money around and repay each other for extra costs we'd covered in the last month.

I would describe that as not having shared finances, you split bills. Shared finances to me means you pool all your resources and there is no concept of each having your own
I don't disagree with you, I don't think our finances are completely shared... But also as we have a joint account I don't think they are completely separate either. My point was that many people probably have a mix of both shared and private.

@Whatawaytogo

All the people going 50:50 Do you earn exactly the same as your partner?

I have no idea., neither does he.

Everything joint with personal allowances to our own accounts. Big purchases discussed but little ones never questioned.
I think it depends on how financially secure you are though. I have been in a situation where every penny counted and I did things differently then

I don’t really fall into either bracket. 52, with my husband for 32 years. Lives together for 29. One joint account. Two seperate accounts, we put a proportion of our earnings into the joint account to cover all joint expenses inc socialising etc, and then have rhe same amount left each month for personal spending as we see fit. We don’t consult the other on that. We have individual savings.

Fully shared.
He earns more. I look after the children more. So it balances out on effort. Lower earning people can work just as hard as higher earners, so don't quite get the 'we work hard for our money' idea.
However I think everyone should split their finances in a way that suits them, as long as there is no financial abuse.