To only serve vegan food at my wedding.

[inthewest]

My partner and myself are both vegan. We want to serve an only vegan menu from an excellent vegan caterer. I know people aren't a fan of "fake meat" and we've deliberately chosen to not have anything of that sort. Our menu will include many options and will cater to allergies and dietary needs such as celiac. The food is delicious, is very "us" and reflects us as couple.

We have had pushback from my partners family. Adult family. I'm fully prepared to cater for children but not adults. Our thinking is that it's one meal.

I'm not vegan or vegetarian, but I would love it! x

If I was going to a wedding where both the bride and groom were vegan then I would not be surprised at all that they would choose to have an exclusively vegan menu!

I’m not vegan or vegetarian but I’d love it.

I can understand that some old school “meat & 2 veg” folks might be a bit put out though.

Its one meal fir one day who's gonna he counting the calories

Talk about manufacturing drama

Funnily enough no ones worried about getting bloated when necking the beer at the free bar

@Confusedandshaken

IMO it depends. If you are vegan because you object to meat for ethical or environmental reasons then I think you should stick to your guns this one. The ethics of the situation don't change because it's a wedding.

OTOH if you are vegan for health reasons I think you should serve meat if that's what your guest will prefer. It's not reasonable to push your health choices onto them.

I think this is fair actually, although I would happily go and eat vegan food anyway (you know, because it's one meal, presumably I quite like the people getting married if I'm invited and I'm an adult).

But if this is more of a passing phase/temporary health kick thing I would be more eye rolly about it for sure!

I went to a mates wedding where they had some crazy "everything free" food due to layers and layers of allergies between the couple. Did I love it? No. But they are my friends, and I love them, and I can suck up my personal preferences for one day to make them happy!

Go for it if you want to, It's your day! I'm not vegan but I would be quite happy to eat whatever is on offer.

However I do think you will get push back from people. My DP is like a fussy child and hates vegetables and actually might refuse to go if he didn't know there was something he would like.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

The vegans on here are carefully not responding to my valid point that most people aren't used to eating vegan food. It is usually either higher carb in order to get enough calories or lower carb and you need to eat a LOT of it to get enough nutrition.

You will get quite a lot of people who will struggle feeling bloaty as they are not used to the carbs, or hungry because they aren't used to eating a bigger portion in order to get enough calories.

It really depends on what is more important to you - providing a treat meal your guests will love, or upholding your own moral position. Its absolutely fine if it's the latter but don't expect everyone to share your view that the food is delicious or rave about it.

I think someone can be supportive of them having a vegan wedding and also not 100% enjoy the meal and thats ok. That doesnt make someone enjoy the day less overall , and that shouldnt provent them from only serving vegan food.

I'm not vegan, but I would love to have more vegan food and to attend a wedding with vegan food. Even if I hated the food served at a wedding I would be polite, sit and eat it. I would expect my kids to do tbe same. Personally I wouldn't give the kids anything different, but I am very much of the mind that you give kids what there is to eat and they eat it or not. They won't starve if they chose to eat for one meal.

@Whatwouldscullydo

Its one meal fir one day who's gonna he counting the calories

Talk about manufacturing drama

Funnily enough no ones worried about getting bloated when necking the beer at the free bar

Yes this 🙌

A lot of people on this thread are talking about veganism like it's a case of preferring the flavour of one thing over another. Whatever your personal feelings on it, just try for a moment to imagine something you find really, really awful and sad and terrible, then try to imagine spending your wedding knowing you're contributing to that thing and totally going against your own values to keep people from "grumbling" and a meal you've paid for.

It would never cross my mind to serve animal products at my wedding. My daily life is spend carefully avoiding all animal products wherever I can. It's very important to me. I can't imagine any reason on the most special bday of my life doing it differently.

That's fair enough, as I said to the OP it is her call.

The comment I made was in response to someone saying why should OP have to pre-warn their guests. Maybe it is just the weddings I've been to but lots of people look forward to the wedding, dress up, buy presents and they expect a good meal. A 'good' meal means different things to different people and there will be some who think a meal without meat or dairy isn't a 'good' meal and would be disappointed to be served a vegan meal.

Polkadotpixie vegetarian food is far less restrictive than vegan. Being able to include eggs, cheese, butter means you don't have to fall into the common vegan traps of carb heavy or low calorie food. The vegans I know rely quite a bit on nuts for healthy fats and protein, which is fine in every day life but if you have a single guest with nut allergies (common) catering companies may not want to include nuts due to the cross contamination risk.

I’m not vegan but I don’t get the difficultly in having a plant based menu for a day!

Go for it OP - it’s your day and yes it’s a party too but there’s no reason that should hinder everyone’s enjoyment.

@24GinDrinkingOnceTheKidsInBed

I’m not a vegan.

What if I’d chosen to do an entirely meat and animal food based menu?

With our wedding I’ve chosen a meat, vegetarian and vegan option so there is something for everyone, including the canapés and desserts.

I mean, I get that you and your OH are vegan, but some of your guests aren’t (I assume), I feel like your deliberately doing it to push you veganism on them IMO. I don’t see any other reason why you wouldn’t want to cater to your guests even slightly.

That actually does happen, I have been to weddings when I was vegetarian and there was no veggie option let alone vegan, so I have had potato and veg. One wedding within last 5 years so not all that long ago. It is quite different meat eater eating vegan / veggie for one meal than the other way around - you must see that !

I think of catering for guests, you go with what you know they will like and enjoy. It’s part of being a good host imo.

It is your wedding, you can serve whatever you like. Nobody will die without meat for 1 day. I would avoid making beig announcements about that though, just serve nice veggie food with no meat substitutes

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland. You're being ridiculous and no your point is not valid.

It's one meal. It doesn't need to be balanced, or have a certain amount of nutrition or calories. It's going to affect absolutely no one if it doesn't match what they're used to eating.

And not vegan or even vegetarian. I'm an omnivore, like most people

Hmm ... Not everyone is as broad minded as you are.

I would expect lots of wasted food as some people are too set in their ways to try something new.

Also be really careful of allergies to nuts, sesame, lentils, etc...

Yup! I have a wheat intolerance (diagnosed and had this for 20 years so not a fad) and have been to many events where I’m expected to eat plain veg or fruit.

It’s different to cater for what people can’t eat, rather than cater for what they’d prefer to eat.

Duggeehug

If you read what I've written I haven't suggested people won't enjoy the day. I've just warned OP to manage her expectations about whether people will find the food as delicious as she will. I'm sure people will be polite but where some weddings the food is a real "wow" meal that is talked about for months, her friends may not feel that way about this.

The actual knuckle dragging attitudes on this thread!

The irony being that all those bleating on about vegan diets being unhealthy/bad for children/tasteless wouldn’t care at all if they were served fat and calorie laden junk at a party

I can only imagine how unhealthy some of PPs relationships with food must be to not be able to contemplate a single meal that isn’t a ‘treat’ full of processed meat.

I’m not vegan, or even vegetarian but it wouldn’t even occur to me to base my attendance at a wedding on what I might get fed.

I’ve been to Asian weddings where I was almost certainly served vegetarian and/or vegan food but I wouldn’t be so ignorant as to ask, or feel short changed that there wasn’t some chicken lurking in there.

What small minded and weird attitudes on this thread!

It sounds fine OP. Lots of people are narrow minded and the mere mention of vegan food means they won't try it. I would just include the menu in the invites, and perhaps allergens so people can let you know if allergic, but other than that sounds nice. Plenty of weddings have pretentious food no one actually likes and plenty leave, meat or not.

I think people will be expecting vegan food as surely they know you well enough to be invited to the wedding.

Absolutely bizarre thread. YANBU it’s one meal. Are people so precious about their sausages?

I can only imagine how unhealthy some of PPs relationships with food must be to not be able to contemplate a single meal that isn’t a ‘treat’ full of processed meat

Its unbelievable and so self centred isn't it.

I was vege and vegan a long time when I was younger and I still opt for the vege option alot when out. But back in the day the vege option was basically a portion of chips or a rice filled green pepper. Every time you went out or went to a party you had to sit there with a bowl of chips or something the kitchen threw together when was completely shit akd unimaginative. But hey never mind you were there fir the occasion amd you accepted it with good grace and had a good time. Amd no one gave a shit as they sat there with steaks and burgers and you had a salad.

Bit god forbid you had a meal at a vegetarian restaurant fir your birthday. One time. So you had an actual choice. And you were treated as if you had served up the contents of your bathroom bin. They couldn't do it without making a huge deal about it. Seriously just order a cheese and tomato pizza it won't kill you. Every day is neat eaters day they never cab give a day over to anyone else without whinging.

I eat meat now but I don't like it much I much prefer vege food.

I would go for it and do the vegan menu. It’s your wedding, your choices. But just be prepared that the wedding might not be an enjoyable experience for some, as a result. And that they may ‘bitch’ about it before, during and after the wedding. I’m a bit of a people pleaser and would want everyone coming away from the wedding to say they’ve had a great time. But that’s me.

Since someone mentioned being violently ill.

Do NOT serve quorn. Lots of people have reaction to the mycoprotein (or whatever it is) and you don't want a quornmageddon😳 My DH had horrible reaction