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AIBU?

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Original poster

To only serve vegan food at my wedding.

999 replies

inthewest · 23/04/2021 21:44

My partner and myself are both vegan. We want to serve an only vegan menu from an excellent vegan caterer. I know people aren't a fan of "fake meat" and we've deliberately chosen to not have anything of that sort. Our menu will include many options and will cater to allergies and dietary needs such as celiac. The food is delicious, is very "us" and reflects us as couple.

We have had pushback from my partners family. Adult family. I'm fully prepared to cater for children but not adults. Our thinking is that it's one meal.

OP posts:
numberoneson · 24/04/2021 00:47

My son's vegetarian, though not yet vegan, and for his wedding they had a Greek veggie buffet. Even my avid meat eater late husband enjoyed it. You go for what you believe in: it's yours and your partner's day not his family's. They presumably chose what THEY wanted when they got married, they can butt out of your choices!I hope you have a really wonderful wedding! Flowers

numberoneson · 24/04/2021 00:54

@ItsNotLoveActually

At the end of the day, you are inviting people to celebrate your wedding. Why bother inviting anyone if you want to impose your lifestyle to that extent? Why not get married in secret? Yes it's one day and I'm sure us meat eaters could cope but why not just try and accommodate everyone. Most meat eaters would accommodate vegetarians. Can't you afford the same common courtesy?
It's not a question of "common courtesy". Most vegans I know are actually revolted at the idea of eating what once was a sentient being before it was killed. It's completely a moral choice for them. Whereas a meat eater doesn't feel offence (well, I can't think of a single one who does, anyway!) at an aubergine or a mushroom being picked ...
MyNameIsElizaDay · 24/04/2021 00:59

No way would I pay for others to eat flesh at MY celebration.
My friends and family would be shocked if I provided any non vegan food/ drink. Quality vegan food all the way! And plenty of vegan alcohol too 🥳

GrumpyHoonMain · 24/04/2021 01:01

I personally would only be catering to allergies.

Embracingthechaos · 24/04/2021 01:11

I don't understand the mentality that someone who isn't vegan must eat meat and dairy with every single meal or snack. That's really weird and obsessive. I love meat and cheese but I sometimes have chickpea curry for tea, or veggie chilli, or hummus and pitta with salad. Just because I fancy it, and those things tend to be cheap and healthy.

The idea that you couldn't get through a single meal that didn't include meat and dairy is genuinely concerning.

Quaagars · 24/04/2021 01:13

@GrumpyHoonMain

I personally would only be catering to allergies.
Not even a vegetarian option? Now who's foisting onto others if so? There's usually an option for meat eaters and those who don't eat meat.
GrumpyHoonMain · 24/04/2021 01:17

@Quaagars - the difference is that meat eaters and vegetarians can eat vegan food. They might not like it but who ever remembers wedding food any way? The guests just need to suck it up and enjoy the event for the bride and groom

Quaagars · 24/04/2021 01:24

[quote GrumpyHoonMain]@Quaagars - the difference is that meat eaters and vegetarians can eat vegan food. They might not like it but who ever remembers wedding food any way? The guests just need to suck it up and enjoy the event for the bride and groom[/quote]
Ah OK sorry, misunderstood you there - thought you meant you'd only cater to allergies and not for vegans!
Completely agree guests should suck it up for one day, who knows, they might be pleasantly surprised, and sometimes it's nice to try something out of your comfort zone

BlueDahlia69 · 24/04/2021 01:25

I've been to several weddings, where the Bride and Groom were Vegan.

Best one was in Dorset County Cricket Club.

7 course one was, including the wedding cake, it was beautiful food.

Charliecatpaws · 24/04/2021 01:29

Your wedding, your choice, I’m not vegan but would embrace vegan food any time if that’s what the hosts are serving, I think your guests would be incredibly rude to refuse

DeRigueurMortis · 24/04/2021 01:30

I think that's fine.

Meat eaters and vegetarians can eat vegan food. It's up to them if they don't want don't want to.

Frankly I don't really see the difference in this than going to a wedding where the food meat or not wasn't my personal "first" choice or a dry wedding without alcohol.

As long as people know it's a vegan menu then I think that's fine, plus you've catered for any intolerances/allergies.

viques · 24/04/2021 01:31

@Foolintherain

I'd be straight to McDonalds on the way home. But you do what suits you.
Why? Don’t you think vegan food is filling enough?
Lou98 · 24/04/2021 01:31

@littlepattilou

As long as you are OK with going to someone's wedding, or party, or 'evening meal' and only being offered dairy and meat products, then yeah, go ahead and only offer vegan food at your wedding.

If you would not accept dairy or meat products in the food you were offered, then of COURSE you are being unreasonable to only offer vegan food to the guests at your wedding.

I can't believe you even have to ask! Confused

It isn't the same at all though is it? People that eat meat generally aren't "against" only eating veggie/vegan meals, they just also like meat. People that don't eat meat, don't for a reason 🙄

Personally this wouldn't bother me at all, it's your wedding! I think it's good the fact that you're not using "fake meat" substitutes is great! I do eat meat but also make a lot of veggie meals as I enjoy them, but not a fan of the fake meats and there's no need for them so I'd definitely be happy with that😁

Scarletbutnotohara · 24/04/2021 01:37

I think it’s completely fine! I’m sure the guests can survive one meal without a dead animal on their plates.
They could always get a burger on the way home. Grin
I’m actually a meat eater myself, but I would survive your wedding.
There is a lot of variety with vegan food these days!

MumsTheWordFact · 24/04/2021 01:44

Do it, it's your wedding. Out of interest, how do you feel about non-vegan food, because by the same logic non-vegans should serve only food that reflects them at their events.

Thisisconfusing · 24/04/2021 01:49

If I were attending a wedding of two vegans I would expect the food to be vegan. TBH I would think it a bit strange if you didn’t have just vegan food and am sure it will be delicious . My kids might struggle a bit ( they are fussy) but it’s just one meal so I wouldn’t be that bothered for them either and no doubt I would have plenty of snacks in my bag .

georgarina · 24/04/2021 01:50

YANBU

It's your day so of course it should reflect your lifestyle/beliefs. A Jewish wedding wouldn't serve pork for the Christian guests.

And congrats x

clementin · 24/04/2021 01:55

I'm not veggie but my close friend is and her wedding buffet was absolutely fabulous. All veggie but foods id never tried before really and it was fab. It's a great chance to try new things and go one day without meat

TheKeatingFive · 24/04/2021 02:06

I don't understand the mentality that someone who isn't vegan must eat meat and dairy with every single meal or snack. That's really weird and obsessive.

Agreed. It’s really odd.

LoveFall · 24/04/2021 02:24

I say go for it. I would look forward to it. The only thing I would do is make sure the food is properly labelled with ingredients because of allergies and intolerances.

Many vegan dishes have nuts and seeds in them, and people can be allergic. Almond milk or flour for example. Also soy can be off limits for many breast cancer survivors. Your guests will feel more relaxed if they know they are safe.

LoveFall · 24/04/2021 02:25

And I love stuffed peppers. I have just made some!

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 24/04/2021 02:29

We did it at ours as DH vegan. Had several hot meal options and we went veggie for the evening buffet if I remember rightly. We did have dairy as well as plant milk for tea and coffee. Was a while ago now so vegan options weren’t as plentiful or as convincing but food was great, nobody starved to death and to be honest we just plied everyone (including ourselves) with so much booze that they really didn’t care.

Quaagars · 24/04/2021 02:43

@MumsTheWordFact

Do it, it's your wedding. Out of interest, how do you feel about non-vegan food, because by the same logic non-vegans should serve only food that reflects them at their events.
That's not comparable though, as meat eaters can eat meals fine that don't have meat or dairy in. Vegans or vegetarians not so much.
Slayduggee · 24/04/2021 02:45

YANBU to serve vegan food but please make sure there is plenty of food. My friend attended a wedding with vegan food and was starving. She has a nut allergy and the 2 courses she was served had nuts as protein so she ended up being served just a salad with no protein and then some vegetables! Even the people who didn’t have any allergies were starving! They didn’t serve dessert or a cake or a buffet either! It was embarrassing as when people found out there was no buffet they were stepping outside and ordering a pizza!

The issue wasn’t that the food was vegan. There wasn’t enough food to keep people going for 10 hours and then if you had a nut allergy you ended up with no protein as well.

Make sure you have a nice vegan desert and cake as everyone always loves cake!

redtshirt50 · 24/04/2021 03:12

I would find it weird if two vegans served meat at their wedding.

My meat-loving, veg-hating DP would be horrified at the thought of it but NO WAY would he complain / not go because of the food.

He would just make sure to eat a big meal before and maybe take some snacks (vegan - as I would make sure) in his bag for if he got hungry. Probably a lot of Oreos.

He's recently tried tempeh and actually liked it, if done well it's really tasty! Tempe tacos / tempeh and rice with a teriyaki sauce would be great for him.

Other vegan things he'd happily eat are:

  • A huge bowl of chips with ketchup
  • Pasta with an Aglio Oli type sauce (I would probably serve this at my wedding if as a 'safe' vegan option, it can be upmarket if done well)
  • Pasta with a tomato sauce
  • Bread with jam/peanut butter
  • A lentil bolognese (if the lentils are well disguised in the sauce. Like the tempeh is a recent development)

The way to go is probably to have a safe vegan pasta dish for the people who don't want to be more adventurous.

I'd love to have a vegan wedding, but because of my DP that will never happen. If we do get married we'd love to have a few food trucks serving different cuisine, one of which would definitely be vegan.