To think this is extremely odd?

[Lollipoplife]

My SO has a couple of work colleagues who are late 50s/early 60s. He’s early 40s but he enjoys the company of older people.
Anyway, these two men have never had a relationship or sexual encounter with anybody, in all those years.
I find this extraordinary and completely bizarre. Am I being unreasonable to think this way?!

@Briarshollow

Oh come on, all the sanctimonious ‘why do you even care / how do you even know / why are you bothering to tell us...’ comments...

This is a conversational forum and yes, I think that is strange, OP! We’re not judging them for it, not saying they’re creepy or odd or frightening, just that it’s probably not very common.

And it could easily have come up in work among three blokes who’ve made friends, especially in the pub on a Friday night.

The OP has specifically said that it is ‘extremely odd’ and ‘completely bizarre’.

I wonder how these two individuals would feel if they knew their situations were being discussed here?

I have a female friend 54 who has never even been out with a man. Also a Male former work colleague now in his 70s who has never dated anyone. Small community and due to jobs, not much opportunity to meet people.
What annoys my friend is that people pity her . She'd far rather be happily single than in a bad relationship.

Not many people would say

I go on holiday once or twice a year & visit prostitutes
Or
I visit the same prostitute or FWB every 6 weeks regularly
Or
I belong to a swingers club
Or
I'm happy on my own
Or
I've been having an affair for 50 years

Nobody knows what goes on in other peoples private lives
It could be a mix of the above

Do I think it is odd
No
Because everyone is different & I have met lots of different people

I used to have an older female colleague who’d had a relationship but had never had sex with anyone. After we’d known each other for quite a while it came up fairly naturally in conversation, certainly without any intrusive questioning on my part. So I don’t think it’ at all odd that the OP’s SO should have been told such things.

I’ve also known a married couple (both long since gone) where the long marriage was never consummated, though it only came out to a relative after one of them was widowed.

Such things are not generally talked about but I dare say they’re more common than is popularly supposed. Perhaps especially nowadays, when it’s going to be thought ‘weird’ or that there must be something wrong with you.

I know a few people who have never had a relationship. Either they have chosen to stay single because they didn't want to marry or have children, or they never had any luck with getting a girlfriend/boyfriend.

My friends brother is one of them. He has always had low earning jobs and couldn't afford to move out of the family home. So stayed and grew older and is now mid forties and living with his father and divorced sister. I don't know him well enough to know if he's ever had a relationship, but no one has been brought home or introduced to the family.

His sister had a short marriage and then came home to the family home where she's been for over a decade as she had no money and no where else to go. She's actually in a relationship with a lovely man who loves several hundred miles away and may well marry him one day but they don't sleep together or have sex because he was abused as a child. They will never live together even if they get married because she's happy where she is and he's happy where he is and they are happy having a part time relationship.

Another person I know is ostensibly single, but she has been having a discreet and loving affair with a man married to a disabled woman for 20 years. He can't and won't leave his wife because he's her carer.

The relationship status of a person often tends to be the least interesting thing about them and I agree that more people lead what society classes as unconventional lives than we may think.

@MrsTulipTattsyrup

Why are colleagues discussing their sex lives at all? Highly inappropriate in any workplace.

I've been at my workplace for 20 years, we talk about anything and everything. Colleagues can be friends too

I disagree with all the PP saying how do you know etc they are just being deliberately obtuse/sanctimonious.
I have a friend like this and I think he's probably asexual or gay but he cant accept himself . Hes talked a little about it but it's just been accepted of him now . Also my sister is 40 and never had a partner. Shes been on some dates but a lack of low self esteem, depression and caring for elderly parents (now deceased) have led her to not have time or the confidence. Also dont forget they may not be quite honest. They may not want to talk about it or as PP suggested they may not have a socially acceptable experience

I have been in my new job for about 8 weeks, I know a fair amount about the sex lives of a couple of my colleagues already. We're quite an open bunch and certainly none of us find it embarrassing to talk about.
I was in my previous job for 3 years, I could write a book about those lot and their sexual shenanigans!
I think it's a strangely MN thing when people seem shocked about talk of sex in the workplace, most places I've worked it seems to be one of the main topics of conversation Maybe we are all just overly sexed!

I find it extraordinary and completely bizarre that your SO knows that.

All these comments about inappropriate discussions in the workplace! Everywhere I've ever worked (and I'm 50), half the conversations have been utter filth.

@JustGiveMeGin

I have been in my new job for about 8 weeks, I know a fair amount about the sex lives of a couple of my colleagues already. We're quite an open bunch and certainly none of us find it embarrassing to talk about. I was in my previous job for 3 years, I could write a book about those lot and their sexual shenanigans! I think it's a strangely MN thing when people seem shocked about talk of sex in the workplace, most places I've worked it seems to be one of the main topics of conversation Maybe we are all just overly sexed!

I've never discussed my sex life in my workplace and have never overhead anybody else discussing theirs. It's cringe worthy and inappropriate. Don't they have any boundaries?? I'd also be pissed off if my partner discussed our sex life with his colleagues. It's private.

Um your partner discusses their sex lives with them and then you two sit and discuss it?

That’s what’s odd.

@JustGiveMeGin

I have been in my new job for about 8 weeks, I know a fair amount about the sex lives of a couple of my colleagues already. We're quite an open bunch and certainly none of us find it embarrassing to talk about. I was in my previous job for 3 years, I could write a book about those lot and their sexual shenanigans! I think it's a strangely MN thing when people seem shocked about talk of sex in the workplace, most places I've worked it seems to be one of the main topics of conversation Maybe we are all just overly sexed!

Unless you're a prostitute, this is pretty strange

Depends on the closeness of the team - also plenty of innocuous ways to say it (‘nah never even kissed a girl’ for example) most of my colleagues are friends too