To think this is extremely odd?

[Lollipoplife]

My SO has a couple of work colleagues who are late 50s/early 60s. He’s early 40s but he enjoys the company of older people.
Anyway, these two men have never had a relationship or sexual encounter with anybody, in all those years.
I find this extraordinary and completely bizarre. Am I being unreasonable to think this way?!

Being this invested in their sex lives is extremely odd.

I have made friends with colleagues in the past and you do find out things about them that can be personal ( outside of work of course!)
It may have just come up in conversation over a drink , especially if you know someone is single as people ask questions are are just curious. Or they may have volunteered this information themselves,

It's odd your SO felt the need to tell you and even odder you felt the need to tell us.

What is an SO?

Significant Other

I hope.. if it's Senior Officer that's a whole different spin on things!

Nasty to be tittle tattling about it here really.

I think you’re weird (and juvenile) for wanting to discuss your husband’s colleagues’ sex lives on a forum

Not nice op. You don't know their reasons, and anyway, they don't even need a reason. It's none of your business.

Yes you're completely unreasonable and not very nice.
It would be fine if you'd asked aibu to find this unusual, as, statistically it is fairly (although probably not as much as you think) unusual for men of that age in this country to not have had some sexual experience.

However the moment you started attaching judgement to it, saying it was "bizzare" and "odd" then you became extremely U. Presumably you wouldn't be so judgemental and refer to two men having sex with other men as "odd"? Or two young women who had had multiple sexual partners as "bizarre?" Then why are people NOT having sex any more worthy of judgement that those who are.

Approx 1-2% of the population is believed to be asexual and lots of others won't have sex for a variety of reasons, none of which are anyone's business than their own!

I don't even understand how this conversation would come up with work colleagues.

It's sad they've not experienced that yet but... Why do you care you shouldn't judge!

It really isn’t that unusual, and it certainly isn’t ‘bizarre’.

You're not unreasonable to think this is unusual; it is. But you would be unreasonable to jump to your own conclusions, without ever asking them their side of things.

..not that I think you should ask them, btw.

I can think of a few people who, afaik, have never had a sexual relationship. Different reasons, each of them. It's really not that peculiar.

It's very telling that on hearing this, your first thought is' Eww, that's so weird, OMG I need to start a thread about how 'odd' it is...'.

They could be religious, socially anxious, physically unable, asexual, repressing homosexuality, traumatised in the past, a whole range of reasons. Not everyone needs another person to make them happy, many people are comfortable with themselves and their own company. That's an enviable state of mind.

@riotlady

I think you’re weird (and juvenile) for wanting to discuss your husband’s colleagues’ sex lives on a forum

What sex lives?

You making an online post about the sexual and relationship history of two men you don’t particularly know is what I find odd and bizarre OP.

Leave them be.

Perhaps you could help them out

No it’s not odd. There are many many people on this planet who have no interest in sex or romantic relationships, from a personal POV for me it’s never been anything other than a means to an end. Aka I wanted kids, so it was necessary. Beyond that I will happily never do it again.

DHs 2 cousins are elderly, single and live together, and I doubt have ever had a physical relationship with anyone. They had a lot of siblings and all worked in the family business so never socialised much, I suppose. The female did have a boyfriend or two but I'm guessing they wouldn't have had sex in those days (could be wrong).

I'm sure it's not that unusual especially in older people. I also don't think it's odd that OP's partner has had that conversation with them - surely work colleagues chat? Even at the coffee machine - 'are you married mate?' 'No - never even had a girlfriend, too old now ha ha'. Doesn't need to be an in depth discussion of anyone's sex life!

And it's not inappropriate for OP's partner to mention it to her when he comes home - unless someone tells you something in strictest confidence then couples chat, of course they do!

I think it's a bit mean of you to go on about it, OP. It's nobody's business if someone has had 0 partners or 100.

I think it is probably more common than people realise but it isn't something generally talked about - probably because of reactions like this!

I know at least two people who I believe have never had sex. One is very senior manager in his 50’s and still lives with his parents. He is a strange chap, very nice but probably has ocd at some level. I think he is asexual. He shows no interest in men or women. He has very specific hobbies that are extremely niche. He has a very good friend who is extremely similar. It’s not beyond the bounds of possibility that they are in a relationship except mutual acquaintances say he is probably asexual as well.