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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5 nearly 6 year old wants her ears pierced. Would you?

255 replies

Charsy01 · 23/04/2021 10:48

My only daughter so this is all new to me. She’s mentioned she wants her ears pierced (she’s 6 soon). Would you let her or wait? I was about 7 I think!

A few of her friends in her class have but some will be 7 in the new year school. Dd is one of the youngest. I’m just worried she’ll fiddle with it all the time which totally puts me off as don’t want any infections.

Advice on this please? What’s a good age?

OP posts:
Divebar2021 · 23/04/2021 16:08

Oh she’s not having it done til she’s in double figures. Probably around the same time as she gets a mobile phone I imagine. It’s not just the care of it but the rough and tumble and ripping it out that’s the issue. I was once in Claires where a toddler was having them done - I’ll never forget the screaming. I don’t know why it’s legal in a situation when a child wouldn’t be competent to consent to the procedure.

Devlesko · 23/04/2021 16:11

Mine was like this, I said when you are older. Didn't help that it's our culture to have them done as babies.
Anyway she gets older and I ask if she wants them doing for secondary she didn't. Kept asking and at 14, no.
She's 17 now and won't have them done as she wants to be different than her peers.
No helping some folks. Grin

SoupDragon · 23/04/2021 16:12

@Ponoka7

"Is this quite a new thing being horrified by ear piercing?,"

It's a MN thing. My GD had hers done at 5, between 5-8 here is the norm.

No, it's not a MN thing and it's not recent either. When I was at school it was unusual for young children to have pierced ears. Around secondary age was normal.
Frazzled2207 · 23/04/2021 16:13

Personally I’d say secondary school minimum. My mum didn’t allow me at all. I eventually got them done age 20!

Frazzled2207 · 23/04/2021 16:15

@Divebar2021

Oh she’s not having it done til she’s in double figures. Probably around the same time as she gets a mobile phone I imagine. It’s not just the care of it but the rough and tumble and ripping it out that’s the issue. I was once in Claires where a toddler was having them done - I’ll never forget the screaming. I don’t know why it’s legal in a situation when a child wouldn’t be competent to consent to the procedure.
That’s horrendous. I also feel for the employee having to do that. I still think 5/6 is too young but at least they are able to consent.
Jellybaby193 · 23/04/2021 16:17

I originally said I would wait until my little girl was old enough to ask (she's nearly 6 now) but now she has asked, I've been put off by seeing how often she catches her hair so worry she would catch the earrings instead. Also when her lobes grow if they end up wonky. Will probably wait a few more years

Wallywobbles · 23/04/2021 16:17

I sais when the started senior school (so 11). Months of care necessary in one case.

HikeForward · 23/04/2021 16:21

If tell her to wait until she’s a teenager. It’s painful, the healing and daily cleaning process is a faff, they fall out at school and teachers get fed up of searching for lost ear studs. She might be allergic to the metal or develop an infection.

I also think they look tacky on children, but appreciate this is my opinion.

partyatthepalace · 23/04/2021 16:22

Noooo. Secondary school. Not before. Just does not look great.

qualitygirl · 23/04/2021 16:22

In Ireland most girls have them fine by age 7...communion timeGrin

IbrahimaRedTwo · 23/04/2021 16:24

In Ireland most girls have them fine by age 7...communion timegrin

Not any more. I hardly know any girls that age that have them. None of my DD's friends have them, other than 2 and for them it's cultural.

Novelusername · 23/04/2021 16:25

My mum took me to have them done when I was about 6, and I don't remember ever particularly wanting it (I've never worn earrings since I was a teenager and I'm in my 40s now). I get the impression it was a reason for my middle class friend's mums to look down on me, as my friends would often remark how they weren't allowed because it was too grown up. Whether it's still considered to be a sign of being lower class or not I don't know, but I thought I'd share my experience. I personally don't like to see it due to how it made me feel.

Foolintherain · 23/04/2021 16:36

@Ponoka7

"Is this quite a new thing being horrified by ear piercing?,"

It's a MN thing. My GD had hers done at 5, between 5-8 here is the norm.

Yes it's a MN thing. They wouldn't want anyone to think their children were common
Novelusername · 23/04/2021 16:42

Foolintherain I was common and unfortunately people do look down on you for it. I like to think I'd never judge a child simply for having earrings, it's no big deal, but I don't think it's appropriate to encourage little girls to be so into their appearance for their self-worth either. It's not little boys asking usually, so that should tell us something.

CeibaTree · 23/04/2021 16:45

I would let her get them done at the beginning off the summer holiday. Why not?

year5teacher · 23/04/2021 16:46

I’d probably let mine at around 7/8. I wasn’t allowed mine until I was 18!!!!!

WhipperSnapperSteve · 23/04/2021 16:48

@Charsy01

I was 7 I think and around 10 when I had my second set. I never had any issues myself.

I’m just not sure Dd will cope with the pain. I know it won’t last long but she might change her mind and refuse the second one. I think I’ll wait a while longer. Maybe when she’s in year 2!

If you go to a professional studio they will pierce both at the same time, using hollowbore needles. Don't go to Claire's or anywhere that using guns, unless you have a burning desire to cover your children in non-sterilised blood borne pathogens.
AliceMcK · 23/04/2021 16:53

@LuaDipa

Absolutely not. My dd, who adored jewellery and everything pink, pretty and girly, was desperate to have her ears pierced at about age 8 when another little girl in her class had them done. I said no, and stood firm in spite of my bloody dm offering to take her every time we saw her. (Dm had mine done as a baby and the holes closed, and then took me to have them done again at 13 at my request. The holes closed again.)

Dd is now 12, she wears plain coloured baggy everything and hates jewellery and anything at all uncomfortable and would be absolutely mortified to have pierced ears. They are too young at that age to know what they want.

See, this is what people don’t think about. My DD wanted hers done at 5 & 6 a complete pink Princess, she’s now 9, lives out of track suites, leggings and is sports mad. She’s absolutely no interest in them now.

Your also lucky your DM wasn’t like my DGM, she wanted to have me for the day when I was 2 and I came home with pierced ears, my parents went ballistic apparently and never forgave her for 1 putting holes in my ears and 2 doing it totally against their wishes. They let the holes close. I had them done again at 7 after being gifted earrings as a bridesmaid present, this time got infected and closed. My mum then took me at 10 to get them done at her hairdressers, after screaming and crying a lot they again got infected and closed. At 13 I got my friends earring and pierced my own ears, been fine ever since. At 14 I wanted a 2nd piercing it my parents who were happy for me to get them done at 7 said no I wasn’t allowed, which made no sense to me so again I did it myself, well I got my cousin too. I had really long hair so I managed to hide the fact I’d done it for a good 9 months 😂

HerMammy · 23/04/2021 16:55

MN has some odd ideas, it’s common for a child under secondary age to have pierced ears? utter snobbery at its best.
Nice to know ppl on here are judging the appearance of young kids, it’s two tiny holes in their ears that takes seconds to do not some agonising long term pain or mutilation.Hmm

Foolintherain · 23/04/2021 16:55

@Novelusername

Foolintherain I was common and unfortunately people do look down on you for it. I like to think I'd never judge a child simply for having earrings, it's no big deal, but I don't think it's appropriate to encourage little girls to be so into their appearance for their self-worth either. It's not little boys asking usually, so that should tell us something.
How were you common? Because you were WC?

It's the ones looking down with the problem.

HerMammy · 23/04/2021 16:57

@LuaDipa
would be absolutely mortified to have pierced ears
maybe you need to wonder why such an extreme reaction would occur?
is it because you’re putting your opinions into her?
Unless you wear earrings nobody is noticing if you have a pinhole in your ear!

Thatisnotwhatisaid · 23/04/2021 16:59

No. My probably rather sensible 8 year old DD was telling me the other day that it’s a stupid idea because they have to put plasters on for PE and swimming and if they don’t have any, they can’t participate. Her friend couldn’t go swimming because she’d forgotten plasters for her earrings.

I’d wait until secondary school when she can look after them herself.

steff13 · 23/04/2021 17:01

I made my daughter wait until she was 10. And I took her to a piercer at a tattoo shop.

jackstini · 23/04/2021 17:03

With dd we waited til summer hols before senior school & went to a piercer to be done with a needle (some of her friends had bad experience with a gun)

She was fine but it would have been a definite no at 6 - lots of adventure type play and risk of ripping out and confidence in hygiene made that decision!

Try magnetic and see if she fiddles! Wink

Novelusername · 23/04/2021 17:07

I agree with you that the ones looking down that had the problem, but it's sadly also a fact of life that people will do this. Therefore, I personally don't think it's a good idea at that age.