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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5 nearly 6 year old wants her ears pierced. Would you?

255 replies

Charsy01 · 23/04/2021 10:48

My only daughter so this is all new to me. She’s mentioned she wants her ears pierced (she’s 6 soon). Would you let her or wait? I was about 7 I think!

A few of her friends in her class have but some will be 7 in the new year school. Dd is one of the youngest. I’m just worried she’ll fiddle with it all the time which totally puts me off as don’t want any infections.

Advice on this please? What’s a good age?

OP posts:
PollyPepper · 23/04/2021 15:14

@Howyoudoingirl

Both of mine got it done the summer before starting primary school. We never had any issues with keeping them clean.
So they were 4?? I just don't get it. Why?? Do you not think they look nice enough without it? Worse, do THEY not think they look nice enough without it? Why make literal holes in your babies ears and stick bits of metal through them, risking injury and infection? plus it looks tacky

I just don't understand.

qualitygirl · 23/04/2021 15:17

My dd didn't flinch when she got hers done. I really don't see the big deal. And she did all of the cleaning herself...it's not rocket science Hmm

daisyjgrey · 23/04/2021 15:18

@PassionPeach

Just a PSA -

Do NOT get your ears pierced with a gun. I don't care if yours turned out okay. They cause blunt force trauma to the skin, instead of cutting through like a needle. If you think of how blunt an ear stud is, compared to a razor sharp, fit for purpose needle, then that's all you need to know. It leaves the hole ragged and harder for the body to heal. Guns also can't be sterilised properly. A wipe is not being sterilised. When someone gets pierced, micro sprays of blood are expelled, and drop onto the gun and the surrounding area. Imagine if someone had HIV or another blood disease, and the person puts that dirty gun to your ear after forgetting to wipe it. You're in for some big trouble. Needles are single use for a reason - piercing guns are not. They're for tagging cattle, not humans. They absolutely should not be used on cartilage either, as they don't pierce through the hard skin, and instead shatter it, which can cause your ear structure to collapse or grow hypertrophic scarring (bumps) AKA excessive trauma.

As well as this - don't twist your earrings. It doesn't help it heal. You're just disturbing the healing fistula (the piercing hole) and causing it to tear open. If you're trying to clean them - buy saline solution, and hold some soaked paper towel/cotton ball to it to loosen any crust. Don't twist, pull or mess with the jewellery. Just leave it the hell alone and let your body do what it does best.

I used to be a body piercer and the amount of Claire's/Beauty salon butcherings I had to fix was unbelieveable. Go to a TRAINED professional - not someone who has watched a video and had a go with a gun on a dummy ear. Needles don't hurt more, they're quicker and more painless. You can guarantee a body piercer also cares a lot more about your child's health when it comes to piercings than a Claire's employee, considering they're not putting a potentially infected gun up to their poor ears.

All of this.

Mumof3almost4 · 23/04/2021 15:20

No my daughter had them done at 10, she was a pain in the arse about keeping them clean and turning them etc. I took them out and she had them done again when she was a more sensible 14 x

Mumof3almost4 · 23/04/2021 15:21

Also avoid Claire's we went there the first time, just awful! Local tattoo parlour second tome, a much cleaner and more professional experience

Howyoudoingirl · 23/04/2021 15:25

@Howyoudoingirl

Both of mine got it done the summer before starting primary school. We never had any issues with keeping them clean.
I think they both look fabulous with or without earnings. Their thinking wasn't that deep, they wanted pretty earnings!. They both turned out to be well rounded, confident people despite having their ears pierced 🤷‍♀️. Is this quite a new thing being horrified by ear piercing?, my kids are older so maybe I'm out if touch?. Brace yourselves, my son also had his done, by a friend with a needle I believe (about 10yrs ago)
Howyoudoingirl · 23/04/2021 15:27

Ah bugger I quoted myself!. That was in response to @ PollyPepper

HarkAVagrant · 23/04/2021 15:31

Is this quite a new thing being horrified by ear piercing?, my kids are older so maybe I'm out if touch
Not a new thing. I have read this thread with my jaw dropping at four, five, six, seven year olds getting holes punched in their ears so they can somehow be more beautiful, and I am 46. I had mine done when I was 17. My sister aged 13.

reluctantbrit · 23/04/2021 15:34

No because I couldn't face battleing DD for proper care and I knew she would loose them all the time.

She was 10 in the end (end of Y5), orginally we wanted to wait until secondary but she impressed up with a proper reasoning why she is old enough and how she would care and protect them. We did it on the first day of the Summer holidays as the school was very. strict about PE and earrings so she needed the 6 weeks to have them healed.

Also, the only acceptable place - for me - to pierce ears is a piercing studio and the one I used for my re-piercing and lots of people use, only takes children from 9 onwards. They use a needle, far less difficult and better than a gun.

ShopTattsyrup · 23/04/2021 15:35

I don't think there's a "right" age, as long as they're sensible enough to keep them clean and also dexterous enough to take them in and out for PE then they're fine.

I was allowed them done for my 10th birthday but after a conversation with my mother we agreed that it was too fiddly for me to take them out for PE so we waited and I had mine done a year later between primary and high school.

namechanging202020 · 23/04/2021 15:37

Yes but explain it will be very sore will bleed etc I'm sure she will be put off haha

IbrahimaRedTwo · 23/04/2021 15:42

Is this quite a new thing being horrified by ear piercing?, my kids are older so maybe I'm out if touch

Can you point out where people are "horrified by ear piercing"? I can't see it.

Erkrie · 23/04/2021 15:43

Say OK, then pinch her ear with your nail tonshow her what it will feel like, and tell her it will be even sore than that. Bet that puts her off. That's what I did to ds when he decided he wanted his done after one of the boys in his class got it done. Put him right off the idea

That's pretty abusive...

JustSleepAlready · 23/04/2021 15:46

I would be ok with that. I was tiny about 2 or 3. I don’t think I had much say in it. I think it’s really Nasty to see babies in Parms with their ears pierced. There’s no way they were able to consider the pros and cons and decide to go ahead with it. However, at 5/6/7 I don’t think it’s a problem.

LuaDipa · 23/04/2021 15:49

Absolutely not. My dd, who adored jewellery and everything pink, pretty and girly, was desperate to have her ears pierced at about age 8 when another little girl in her class had them done. I said no, and stood firm in spite of my bloody dm offering to take her every time we saw her. (Dm had mine done as a baby and the holes closed, and then took me to have them done again at 13 at my request. The holes closed again.)

Dd is now 12, she wears plain coloured baggy everything and hates jewellery and anything at all uncomfortable and would be absolutely mortified to have pierced ears. They are too young at that age to know what they want.

evilharpy · 23/04/2021 15:52

I was desperate to get mine pierced from the age of about 8 but my mum made me wait till I was 13. I think I was the last one in my secondary school form class to get it done, and then I ended up four holes in each ear in quick succession.

My daughter is 6 and extremely sensible. She would look after them no question, but I have no control over other kids in the playground being rough and tumble. And I wouldn't let Claires Accessories and/or a gun anywhere near her so she would have to wait till she was old enough to go to a proper piercer. She has no interest though.

I've noticed children in her class have started to have it done - I think a few have done it over the Easter holidays.

Babdoc · 23/04/2021 15:53

They aren’t old enough to consent to medical procedures, so there’s no way I would have let either of my DDs do this.
Thankfully, neither of them were daft enough to want it at that age.
OP, would you let your DC stick a bone through their nose? Pierce their tongue? Stick studs in their eyebrows?
Where would you draw a line?
Mine had to wait until they were adults. By which time one didn’t want them, and the other had it done, regretted it, and removed them.

Howyoudoingirl · 23/04/2021 15:55

@IbrahimaRedTwo

Is this quite a new thing being horrified by ear piercing?, my kids are older so maybe I'm out if touch

Can you point out where people are "horrified by ear piercing"? I can't see it.

Have you been around here for long & read the ear piercing threads?
1forAll74 · 23/04/2021 15:57

16 for my daughter.

Witchinthewardrobe · 23/04/2021 16:00

I suggest older. When she’s out of the rough and tumble age!

Ponoka7 · 23/04/2021 16:00

"Is this quite a new thing being horrified by ear piercing?,"

It's a MN thing. My GD had hers done at 5, between 5-8 here is the norm.

SocraticJunkieWannabe · 23/04/2021 16:01

I wouldn't until she is old enough to fully look after them herself. DD was around 11 when she had hers pierced and even at that age it was a pain reminding her to clean the bloody things and then not keep dropping earrings down the sink.

Aprilshowersandhail · 23/04/2021 16:01

I just told my dd's it would hurt. 1 cried. I actually laughed!! They didn't regret them done... No issues in 10 years.

PattyPan · 23/04/2021 16:06

Is this quite a new thing being horrified by ear piercing?, my kids are older so maybe I'm out if touch?

No, I’m 26 and remember my mum being quite snobby about it. I got mine done after intensely pressuring her when I was 11.

ThrowingAShellstrop · 23/04/2021 16:07

My DD was 8. She asked for a year without changing her mind and offered to pay with her birthday money. We had open discussions about where was best to have them done, the kind of earrings that were best for 1st times, how to look after them and reassured her I’d be there to help. So off she went and had them, knew what to expect and didn’t even flinch. Then she took charge of looking after them under supervision. I was and still am immensely proud of her.

My honest belief is that of you veto these things and make them taboo, you cannot have enough control over keeping them safe when they inevitably go behind your back and do it themselves. If you are able to have open and serious conversations with your child about it then I don’t see what setting an arbitrary age is going to do.