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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5 nearly 6 year old wants her ears pierced. Would you?

255 replies

Charsy01 · 23/04/2021 10:48

My only daughter so this is all new to me. She’s mentioned she wants her ears pierced (she’s 6 soon). Would you let her or wait? I was about 7 I think!

A few of her friends in her class have but some will be 7 in the new year school. Dd is one of the youngest. I’m just worried she’ll fiddle with it all the time which totally puts me off as don’t want any infections.

Advice on this please? What’s a good age?

OP posts:
Msmcc1212 · 23/04/2021 11:07

No. I wouldn’t. For one I would be concerned about accidents. At that age I’d want them to be adventurous and explore their physical world more. Climb trees etc.

For two I’m not a fan of this kind of thing for young girls anyway. It’s a personal preference but also I would really like to see a shift in society away from girls and women being judged so much on their looks. Sadly, instead what I see is it happening to males more instead. But when I see young girls dressed up like little women with grown up type clothes, make up and jewellery etc it makes me feel really sad that the pressure to look a certain way starts so early. Sad

But it’s very much individual choice I think and I’m probably a bit old fashioned!

Justcallmebebes · 23/04/2021 11:07

It's a definite no from me. Can you get loads of sheets of ear stickers?

Beamur · 23/04/2021 11:07

I would say too young due to the risk of injury if the earring gets pulled at school/during play. Maybe also check about whether they are allowed to keep earrings in during PE at school. Teaching staff wouldn't be responsible for removing/replacing or keeping them safe.
Some places that do piercings wouldn't do it on a child this young either.
The holidays after year 6 ahead of going to high school seems to be popular where I live.

Original poster
Charsy01 · 23/04/2021 11:07

@Soubriquet

I was 3/4 when I had mine done. I haven’t wore earrings in years but the holes are still open
I very rarely wear them as an adult either (especially with lockdown and nowhere to go). I’ve gone 1 year or more without wearing them before and still closed over!
OP posts:
Maggiesfarm · 23/04/2021 11:07

I'd wait until she was about eleven.

BrumBoo · 23/04/2021 11:08

I also think too young, maybe at 9/10 and definitely over the summer holidays. Do not use places like Claires or any place that uses a gun. Needles only, it hurts less and heals better. Tattoo shops have experts in piercing and can give far better aftercare advice.

Twotinydictators · 23/04/2021 11:09

My DD had them for her 8th birthday, in a jewellers. She has always been an exceptionally mature child though and is very good with pain. She barely flinched and has looked after them really well herself with no issues at all like infections etc. She had wanted them since she was 7 but I didn't think she'd be able to do the aftercare needed then, and that was part of the deal, she needed to be responsible enough to look after them.

I think it depends on the child really what age is best.

onthinice · 23/04/2021 11:09

Claires does get a bad rep but both my girls had theirs done and so did I for a second set, all at different branches, and none of us have had any problems. Not have any of my friend's children. They also can do both ears at the same time so there is no issue of refusing the second ear! I had mine done at a beauty therapist and would have preferred this, but in my area certainly this doesn't seem to be something offered by them anymore. My options were either a jeweller, Claire spoke a tattoist who would use a needle (said to be better but there is just no way my daughters would have coped with that!)

Anyway, you've did you're waiting till she's older, so that's all irrelevant for now, but might be useful info /opinion for the future should you need it 🙂

SoupDragon · 23/04/2021 11:09

I know it won’t last long but she might change her mind and refuse the second one.

DD had hers done between primary and secondary and we paid a little extra to have both done at the same time.

Comefromaway · 23/04/2021 11:09

No, it's too young. My dd was 8 and basically old enough to do the bathing/turning herself.

thiswaythat · 23/04/2021 11:10

I don't think her age is a problem (but I'm probably biased because I remember my fave aunt took me when I was 6!) but I would definitely wait til summer holidays and go to a proper piercing studio.
Also, to contradict a PP you must never turn a new piercing so that won't be part of your new job. Just supervising a saline spray should do it. They come in great little spray cans now so it's easy for a young child.

FizzyApricot · 23/04/2021 11:15

Summer holidays before secondary school at the earliest. Depends on the child. They have to understand they are making a (usually) permanent change to their body and that it can get infected if not looked after properly to be able to fully consent

EvilOnion · 23/04/2021 11:16

I think it depends on the child.

When mine was younger DH and I spoke about it and agreed that 8 would be a reasonable age, now she's 8 I'd say 10 because she's always clambering or jumping up trees and walls which would no doubt end in disaster 🤣

BrumBoo · 23/04/2021 11:18

@onthinice

Claires does get a bad rep but both my girls had theirs done and so did I for a second set, all at different branches, and none of us have had any problems. Not have any of my friend's children. They also can do both ears at the same time so there is no issue of refusing the second ear! I had mine done at a beauty therapist and would have preferred this, but in my area certainly this doesn't seem to be something offered by them anymore. My options were either a jeweller, Claire spoke a tattoist who would use a needle (said to be better but there is just no way my daughters would have coped with that!)

Anyway, you've did you're waiting till she's older, so that's all irrelevant for now, but might be useful info /opinion for the future should you need it 🙂

It's not about having a 'bad rep', it's the equivalent of going to a Holland and Barrett for advice on a bad cough. You want to modify your body, go to the experts. Using a piercing gun is unhygienic, very much more painful and ultimately a bloody stupid way of piercing delicate skin. I've had several piercings over my life, and the sting of that bloody gun at 6 years old has stuck with me more than any of them.
Luckingfovely · 23/04/2021 11:22

You'll get a huge range of opinions on here - personally I think secondary school is the youngest it should be considered - not least because by then they have more maturity to a) make an informed decision, and b) look after them properly.

(Also I think they look vile on young children, but that's clearly IMO only! Grin)

babbaloushka · 23/04/2021 11:35

Mine was desperate to have hers done when her best friend did at 8, but we said no as she had some health problems and we couldn't risk infections. She stopped asking after about a month and eventually got them done herself at 16 with some friends. Maybe wait and see if she's still interested after her next birthday.

Couchbettato · 23/04/2021 11:39

No is say she's too young. When she is ready for them, you should go to a proper piercing parlor for them doing because they're less likely to use a gun.

Guns are blunt and cause scarring and are more likely to generate infected piercings than a sterile sharp piercing needle.

Also worth checking your child's schools jewellery policy. Some will not allow piercings in which case it's pointless getting them done because they'll just heal over 🤷

Bipitybopityboop · 23/04/2021 11:40

Our DD will be getting hers done when she is 16. If she still wants them done.

I am happy to pay for the piercings and to buy her some gold or diamond studs however I personally don't think at primary age they really need them done.

There is too much fuss made at our primary school regarding PE lessons and swimming. It's easier to wait until they are older.

Heysiriyouknob · 23/04/2021 11:43

No.

But then I have a phobia about jewellery on me or other people. Thankfully my Dd is not interested.

Adirondack · 23/04/2021 11:46

No she’s too young. Wait til 10 or 11 when she’ll be able to clean them herself

Livpool · 23/04/2021 11:50

I got mine done when I was about 8 in the summer holidays

DS is in reception and I have heard a few mums ask the teacher if they can get their children's ears pierced.

LizziesTwin · 23/04/2021 11:50

The problem with having them done in the summer holidays is that you aren’t supposed to swim when they are first done.

Five year olds want lots of things. How about just saying ‘Yes you can have them done when you’re in year 6’. There’s no rush is there?

TheThingsWeAdmitOnMN · 23/04/2021 11:51

@Charsy01

I was 7 I think and around 10 when I had my second set. I never had any issues myself.

I’m just not sure Dd will cope with the pain. I know it won’t last long but she might change her mind and refuse the second one. I think I’ll wait a while longer. Maybe when she’s in year 2!

Does it really matter if she changes her mind about the second one? Just take the first one out and let it heal over. And tell her not to bother asking again until she goes to senior school 🤣

I had mine done at 7, almost 8 in the summer. My Mum would have cleaned them for me and I had the whole of the holidays to get used to them.

I personally think 6 is a bit young to remember to pull jumpers off carefully & be careful no one else accidentally catches them when you're playing etc

I'd probably put her off until she turns 10. Make it a Big Girl Double Digits treat (or whatever to sell the idea to her) and buy get some stick ons for now (get bundles online) then she can wear different ones everyday if she wants to!

On the other hand, Spanish babies cope, so?!

VegCheeseandCrackers · 23/04/2021 11:53

I got mine done at 8. I really wanted it and my mum let me have them done for my birthday. They were pierced with no issue and I still wear earrings at 29.

FeelinHappy · 23/04/2021 11:55

Personally I think it's too young. Before kids I'd have said 13ish but I relented with a very sensible 11 year old.

It's a permanent change to their body, albeit a small one. There's plenty of time when she is older. Also I think present-wise little girls should be given "doing" presents rather than "looking pretty" presents, but that is just me.