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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5 nearly 6 year old wants her ears pierced. Would you?

255 replies

Charsy01 · 23/04/2021 10:48

My only daughter so this is all new to me. She’s mentioned she wants her ears pierced (she’s 6 soon). Would you let her or wait? I was about 7 I think!

A few of her friends in her class have but some will be 7 in the new year school. Dd is one of the youngest. I’m just worried she’ll fiddle with it all the time which totally puts me off as don’t want any infections.

Advice on this please? What’s a good age?

OP posts:
VestaTilley · 23/04/2021 13:17

No. I was 11 when I had mine done.

If I had a DD I’d discourage it now. Girls aren’t ornaments.

MarshaBradyo · 23/04/2021 13:18

I wouldn’t no but that’s just me

MarshaBradyo · 23/04/2021 13:19

Well not just me. More that what I do isn’t necessarily what you have to do

daisyjgrey · 23/04/2021 13:20

@IbrahimaRedTwo

No, I wouldn't. If my DD's want to poke holes in the bodies I made for them, they can do it when they are older and can pay for it and look after it themselves.

I hate earrings on young girls anyway, unbearably tacky.

You are in for a world of pain if you're going to use the "the body I made for them" stance.

What happens if they drink alcohol? Or take up a dangerous hobby? Or get a tattoo?

PerspicaciousGreen · 23/04/2021 13:30

Big no from me over here. It's a permanent thing, and I wouldn't agree to it at six. I had mine done at sixteen and will probably say the same to my daughter. You can get lots of clip ons and magnetic earrings if she wants to dress up.

However, I know some people don't feel as strongly about the principle of it, so I would also note that:

  • The risk of playground accidents exists. At that age they're still getting very close and physical with other children and won't be sensible about their earrings. They might get their ear ripped open.
  • You have to clean and turn them for aaaaages to stop the holes closing up or getting infected.
  • Will the school even allow it? Our school said you had to take them out for PE lessons. Will your 6yo be able to remove and then reinsert the earrings every PE lesson?

She's "mentioned" it? Don't you think it might just be a whim? Mine would have to be begging for months before I'd even consider it. How long has she been asking for it, and how persistently?

Aria2015 · 23/04/2021 13:34

@Charsy01 I would, but then I had mine done when I was 3! I've got a daughter and have decided to wait until she asks (if she ever does!) and then I'll let her have it done.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 23/04/2021 13:36

I had to wait until I was 16 and DD will be doing the same.

Strawbfields · 23/04/2021 13:38

I would personally allow it - different if she was a baby. I had my ears pierced at 5 after crying and nipping my mums head so much about it. I ended up finding it agonising and had to have them removed that evening. I then waited till I was 13 before having them redone.

Mylittleponysuperfan · 23/04/2021 13:41

My eldest was dying to have them done from about 7/8
I asked her to wait until the 6 week holiday when she left primary and started secondary (late birthday present)
It seemed the best way to do it-she was old enough to look after them and it marked the new stage in her life
As it was,she had them done,fainted and they didn’t last long after the 6 weeks healing time-but that was just her

adviceinpainconfused · 23/04/2021 13:41

I'd say it depends on how well you think she will look after them. My daughter got hers pierced just before her 7th birthday. She was very sensible and knew not to fiddle/the importance of keeping them clean so I agreed. We had no problems at all. However, I knew that she would be sensible and had I not I wouldn't have allowed it.

In terms of pain, she didn't feel it and I was more nervous than her!!

It very much depends on your child and you know her best.

shivawn · 23/04/2021 13:54

Yeah I would if she wants them, why not.

I think its so tacky when people pierce their babies ears though, it looks absolutely awful, they obviously never consented to that and its taking away a milestone from them in the future.

PassionPeach · 23/04/2021 13:58

Just a PSA -

Do NOT get your ears pierced with a gun. I don't care if yours turned out okay. They cause blunt force trauma to the skin, instead of cutting through like a needle. If you think of how blunt an ear stud is, compared to a razor sharp, fit for purpose needle, then that's all you need to know. It leaves the hole ragged and harder for the body to heal. Guns also can't be sterilised properly. A wipe is not being sterilised. When someone gets pierced, micro sprays of blood are expelled, and drop onto the gun and the surrounding area. Imagine if someone had HIV or another blood disease, and the person puts that dirty gun to your ear after forgetting to wipe it. You're in for some big trouble. Needles are single use for a reason - piercing guns are not. They're for tagging cattle, not humans. They absolutely should not be used on cartilage either, as they don't pierce through the hard skin, and instead shatter it, which can cause your ear structure to collapse or grow hypertrophic scarring (bumps) AKA excessive trauma.

As well as this - don't twist your earrings. It doesn't help it heal. You're just disturbing the healing fistula (the piercing hole) and causing it to tear open. If you're trying to clean them - buy saline solution, and hold some soaked paper towel/cotton ball to it to loosen any crust. Don't twist, pull or mess with the jewellery. Just leave it the hell alone and let your body do what it does best.

I used to be a body piercer and the amount of Claire's/Beauty salon butcherings I had to fix was unbelieveable. Go to a TRAINED professional - not someone who has watched a video and had a go with a gun on a dummy ear. Needles don't hurt more, they're quicker and more painless. You can guarantee a body piercer also cares a lot more about your child's health when it comes to piercings than a Claire's employee, considering they're not putting a potentially infected gun up to their poor ears.

Mumoblue · 23/04/2021 13:58

I got mine done when I was 10.
I probably wouldn’t let my kid have them done any earlier than that.

musicinspring1 · 23/04/2021 14:00

Most schools want them removed for PE so I waited until mine were able to confidently remove them and put them in themselves and take responsibility for cleaning them too.
Most in DDs school were Year 5 at the earliest

IbrahimaRedTwo · 23/04/2021 14:01

You are in for a world of pain if you're going to use the "the body I made for them" stance.....What happens if they drink alcohol? Or take up a dangerous hobby? Or get a tattoo?

I don't know what gotcha you think you're going for here....but they can do all those things when they are old enough to and can pay for their own, same as in the earrings case Hmm
Is there something strange in my stance that I wouldn't let a 10 year old get a tattoo or buy vodka for my 12 year old? Confused

Pixilicious · 23/04/2021 14:02

My daughter went on and on and I held firm but my DH caved. She’s 9. He now says he regrets not waiting until she was 11 as we’d previously agreed as one of them keeps being sure despite scrupulous ear care and she’s thinking of letting them close up. Should’ve listened to the owner of multiple piercings (me)! We got them done by a piercer not Claire’s. No way would I go to Claire’s!

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 23/04/2021 14:06

DD is nearly 7 and has asked a couple of times, our answer is that she can have them done when she can look after them herself, that she'll need to clean and follow the advise every day for several weeks and it will be uncomfortable so she needs to be able to tolerate that.

She decided she wasn't ready. If she asks again we'll have the same conversation and when she determines she is able to commit to that level of care we'll get them done.

I was about 7 when I had mine done, I think she'll be closer to 10, maybe 12.

AlexaNeverListens · 23/04/2021 14:06

My DD was the only girl in primary school not to have them done but that's because I think they look horrible on young girls.
She got them done for her 14th bday.

Saskiaair · 23/04/2021 14:15

I really really don't understand the vehement posts here who are so against it.
It's 2 small holes in your ear that are perfectly fine to have earrings in. And at some point she'll want them so just let her.
I was 9 or 10 it didn't ruin my ears or make me go off the rails Grin
But as others have rightly said a gun isn't the best way.

tedsletterofthelaw · 23/04/2021 14:20

My DD (7) had them done late last year.

She'd been pestering since she was five. I told her all about the process and then showed her a video of a piercing being done (Holly on This Morning!) to make sure she knew what she was letting herself in for. Told her she would need to clean them very day etc etc. She was still determined so we did it at a proper tattoo/piercing place with a needle (vital!).

She was very good with keeping them clean and would do it each night before bed with an antiseptic wipe. Though she is obsessively very hygienic and washes her hands around fifteen times a day anyway (covid), so I had no doubt that she'd look after them.

So my answer is it really depends on the child and whether you think she's able to a. Cope with the actual procedure and b. Take care of them.

imalmostthere · 23/04/2021 14:21

Yeah I would!
Just don't go anywhere that uses a gun, needles only and be prepared to keep them clean for her.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 23/04/2021 14:22

My dds wanted theirs done but I made them wait until the summer hols before they went to secondary school. I am rather squeamish about ear piercing & have never wanted mine done, so they knew they had to be responsible for the care & watching for infection etc.

You can get clip on converters so it's still possible to wear earrings for pierced ears without the actual piercing. Would that be an option for special occasions until she's older?

Lollipopmum0183 · 23/04/2021 14:22

@Flowerlane

When ever a thread like this comes up (which it does often) Mumsnet is always a big no no on this.

Personally I don’t see the problem with it.
I had mine done before I was a year old and majority of family members have all been very young when they had theirs done.
Obviously studs and definitely not hoops etc to minimise any accidents.

You know your own daughter @Charsy01 if you think she will not fiddle with them, help keep them clean etc and you think she is ready for them then go for it.
Summer holidays are usually a better time to have them done as a longer time to heal before you have to remove them for school. Also recommend a jewellers does them not Claire’s.

This!!
EscapeDragon · 23/04/2021 14:30

When my dd started asking, I told her that yes, she could have her ears pierced - for her 13th birthday.

She was a bit disappointed as she had to wait so long, but I did remind her that I had said yes, so she accepted it.

And yes, on the day of her 13th birthday, we duly went and had them done.

BashfulClam · 23/04/2021 14:38

I was 4 and nipped my mums head relentlessly. She thought it was a good age as she could supervise keeping them cleaned and they’d heal before school. I remember getting it done. Afterwards I went to bed and I never slept in the day so I must have been in shock. They healed up brilliantly and are still open now.