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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5 nearly 6 year old wants her ears pierced. Would you?

255 replies

Charsy01 · 23/04/2021 10:48

My only daughter so this is all new to me. She’s mentioned she wants her ears pierced (she’s 6 soon). Would you let her or wait? I was about 7 I think!

A few of her friends in her class have but some will be 7 in the new year school. Dd is one of the youngest. I’m just worried she’ll fiddle with it all the time which totally puts me off as don’t want any infections.

Advice on this please? What’s a good age?

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 23/04/2021 12:28

@Historytoo

Fifteen. Pierced ears for primary school PE is a pain. Ex primary teacher.
Surely they just don't wear them for school/PE?
Milkand2sugarsplease · 23/04/2021 12:29

When they're old enough to be willing to go and have them done properly with a needle rather than a gun without being freaked out by it.

babybythesea · 23/04/2021 12:29

I have one child in my class (Year 1 and 2 - I’m the TA) with earrings. Since returning from lockdown I have looked for earrings and butterflies about half a dozen times. She gets upset, and because I genuinely don’t want her to lose things at school, and because I don’t want her upset, I’ve helped her look. But we may need a quiet word with the parents because it’s not really the best use of my time!

AliceMcK · 23/04/2021 12:30

Personally I’m a no. I have 3 DDs, 3, 7 & 9. The rule is when they go to high school. We may give in at 10 though. I hate when people pierce small children’s ears, the child can not consent, especially babies. They are not fashion statements they are children.

Remaker · 23/04/2021 12:30

I decided the key factors were her really wanting them and being old enough to look after them. She really didn’t mention it until about age 8 or 9. We ended up getting them done for her 10th birthday.

She’s now 14 and nagging for her ‘seconds’. We’ve agreed she can have them done later this year when she is 15 and after the netball season is finished.

Erkririe · 23/04/2021 12:32

I think my DD was about 9. Find a reputable place if you do let her get it done though, don't get it done with a gun, it's more liable to be wonky. (Like mine are).

Eilethya · 23/04/2021 12:33

I don't see the issue, it's earlobe piercing. If you can have a conversation with her, show her some YouTube videos of the procedure, make sure she's clued up on what happens, you can squirt her ears twice a day with saline. It's relatively low risk on the grand scheme of things.

I may be biased because I have conch, tragus, helixes and never had any problems, so in my humble opinion I don't see earlobe piercing at 6 a big deal.

lolateddy · 23/04/2021 12:35

I work at a beauty salon and we do piercings. Age 5-6 is really common to get them done. I don't see why not. It's just depends if you feel comfortable, no one else can tell you.

SoupDragon · 23/04/2021 12:36

@Butwasitherdriveway

I've never had mine pierced but IME, PE no longer seems to require pupils to take them out.
DD has to take hers out for PE. Even sticking tape over isn't acceptable.
PivotPivotPivottt · 23/04/2021 12:37

My daughter got hers done a few months before her 6th birthday. She had been asking since she was 3! She was one of the last girls in her class to have them done.

I was honest with her and told her it's sore and I showed her YouTube videos of what happens. I knew she would cry so my stepdad took her but I was honest with her and told her I didn't want to see her cry (which she did). Both were done at the same time (not at Claire's btwWink).

Cleaning was fine it didn't take long and she knew not to touch them. I would cover them with tape or plasters on gym days.

I'm not for or against ear piercing. She wouldn't have them done if she hadn't asked and I don't agree with getting them on babies toddlers who have no say. But then there will be people lots of people who think I'm wrong and that I should have waited until she was older so it's really a matter of opinion.

seadreams · 23/04/2021 12:40

I had mine done at 7 for my first communion which was pretty common in my school. Never had any problems since. Though where I come from we never had to take earrings out for PE so maybe that would change something.

TellerTuesday · 23/04/2021 12:43

I honestly don't understand the angst around ear piercing.

I don't agree with people getting babies and toddlers ears pierced but I always said if DD asked for them doing I would take her.

She had hers done in reception when they broke up for the summer holidays. We went to a piercing studio and had them done with a needle, I put numbing cream on her ear lobes that morning and she didn't even feel it. 3 years on we've had no issues at all and she loves having her ears pierced.

Maggiesfarm · 23/04/2021 12:44

@AliceMcK

Personally I’m a no. I have 3 DDs, 3, 7 & 9. The rule is when they go to high school. We may give in at 10 though. I hate when people pierce small children’s ears, the child can not consent, especially babies. They are not fashion statements they are children.
I agree, before going to 'big' school seems the right time to me. People I know with daughters, as well as my own, took their girls to have their ears pierced for passing the 11+ or equivalent.

It is a cultural practice for some to have baby girls ears pierced and they take them somewhere safe to have it done. I don't like the practice; as has been said, the child has no choice in the matter, but I accept it. They grow up OK and don't seem to be traumatised by having it done.

Speaking of 'safe' places to have ears pierced, my dental practice does it. I had mine done at a local jewellers for my fourteen birthday. I remember the jeweller saying how nice it was to see girls with long hair 'nowadays'. My mother was with me and she agreed with the jeweller, despite the fact that she generally moaned about my hair being untidy! Typical of my mum.

Ellasmummyx1 · 23/04/2021 12:44

If you don’t want her to then it’s a no. She doesn’t have to like that answer

PattyPan · 23/04/2021 12:46

No, I always heard you shouldn’t have them done too young because when the ears grow then the earring might not be in the middle any more and look weird, no idea if that is actually true though!

I think the best time is the start of the summer holidays between year 6 and year 7 - long enough for it to heal before school starts and it’s a cool new grown up thing for going to a new grown up school.

BeeDavis · 23/04/2021 12:47

I was about 2/3 years old when I had mine done. As long as you explain to her the responsibility of having them done i.e cleaning them etc, then there should be no issue.

zukiecat · 23/04/2021 12:49

Both my daughters had their ears pierced at Claire's when they were 10, and second lobe piercings when they were 15/16.

I had mine done at 13, no Claire's 40 years ago!

I had my second piercings and a tragus piercing done at Claire's.

None of us have ever had any problems at all. Thinking of having my third piercings, and if I do I'll be going to Claire's.

Twinkie01 · 23/04/2021 12:52

I think when they leave primary but not because of infection or pain but because I personally think it looks awful on small children.

CoffeeWithCheese · 23/04/2021 12:52

Mine has wanted them done since about that age - so far I've refused and we've talked about how I don't think she'd go through with having them done, or have one done and not have the other done - and she's accepted that yep, I'm pretty much right on those grounds (she won't let you remove a plaster without a 30 minute screaming fit of paaaaain). I'd have no issues otherwise - it's just that DD1 is a very... um... expressive personality!

pigsDOfly · 23/04/2021 13:08

Why not wait until she's old enough to have it done at a proper piercing studio with a properly trained piercer.

It'll be done with a needle, which is a lot better and a lot less painful than having it done with a gun by someone who has gone through a thorough training apprenticeship.

Those pps who mention 'turning', please don't do this. There's absolutely no reason to twiddle around with the earring or 'turn' it; the piecing should be cleaned with saline solution twice a day and otherwise left alone.

FizzyApricot · 23/04/2021 13:08

@FeelinHappy

Personally I think it's too young. Before kids I'd have said 13ish but I relented with a very sensible 11 year old.

It's a permanent change to their body, albeit a small one. There's plenty of time when she is older. Also I think present-wise little girls should be given "doing" presents rather than "looking pretty" presents, but that is just me.

That's a great rule I'm going to steal it for myself.
pigsDOfly · 23/04/2021 13:10

*there should be a comma after the word gun in my second paragraph. The person using a needle with be properly trained, not the person using a gun.

daisyjgrey · 23/04/2021 13:11

No, and only go to an actually trained piercer which uses needles. Not a shop assistant who did a three hour online course and has a plastic, non sterile gun.

Esio · 23/04/2021 13:16

Round here girls seem to get them done the summer before secondary school. My mother told my sister and I we could have our's done at 12. Then we got to 12 and she said 14, so my sister threw a huge strop about mum changing the date and had her's done at 12. I wasn't fussed so waited until 16.

daisyjgrey · 23/04/2021 13:17

@ZombeaArthur

I have a few piercings. My piercer won’t do anyone under 14, so that’s when my girls can have theirs done. I won’t take them to anyone I wouldn’t trust to pierce me.

Some common sense at last!