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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be cross about ruined school clothes?

71 replies

DrSeuss · 22/04/2021 19:50

Yesterday, DS, aged 15, came home with red permanent marker all in two large patches on his white school shirt. Claimed someone turned around and marked him by mistake. I tried alcohol gel as suggested by google followed by a hot wash but it won't come out. Oh well, I thought, accidents happen.
Today, he has come home with the same red marker all over his other white shirt. I eventually persuaded him to admit that it was the girl who sits next to him in English. I find it hard to believe that this was a second accident. It probably won't come off and the shirts are now unusable as they are covered in red marker. They were bought new to return to school after lockdown and their cost represents about half a day's pay for me.

I am currently torn between letting it go so as not to embarrass DS who really doesn't want me to contact the school and the fact that a child has apparently deliberately ruined two brand new shirts which cost me a significant sum. He has admitted that it was the same girl in both cases.
AIBU to email the school or would you let it go?

OP posts:
UserTwice · 22/04/2021 19:53

A bit of red marker on a shirt does not make them unwearable. presumably they are under a blazer or jumper anyway.

Was the red pen malicious or were they just messing about? The only reason I'd contact the school would be if your DS were being bullied and wanted me to do so.

Bvop · 22/04/2021 19:55

That’s a right nuisance. I would say something to the school. One is an accident but not two.

Original poster
DrSeuss · 22/04/2021 19:56

There is a patch on the collar about the size of a fifty pence piece and a second down the front patch about 8cm by 2cm on the chest. Not covered by anything, especially in summer.

OP posts:
FlyingBurrito · 22/04/2021 19:56

I think there might be more than you're being told, that doesn't sound very believable to me

Messing around with some kind of red pen long enough to get a significant amount onto a shirt? Hmm, I'm not sure about that

Will bleach not get it out?

Original poster
DrSeuss · 22/04/2021 19:58

May try bleach but am worried that the fabric may not stand it. I think it's polycotton. Will bleach be OK?

OP posts:
Helenluvsrob · 22/04/2021 19:59

Easy peasy. Once accident. Fine I’ll break the cost - loss damage etc that’s ok. Twice - you pay to replace.

Applies to any bit of school kit. Blooming annoying when the whole PE kit was left on the bus but he didn’t loose any after that - he did but a couple of pairs of trousers as ripped.

PheasantPlucker1 · 22/04/2021 19:59

Tell the school.

If it happens again your dc is likely to lose their temper, then get punished. A quick email and a word with colouring girl should be enough to stop it!

UserTwice · 22/04/2021 20:01

Once accident. Fine I’ll break the cost - loss damage etc that’s ok. Twice - you pay to replace.

That only works if the OP's DC actually has any money. The other option is that he just keeps wearing them.

SephrinaX · 22/04/2021 20:01

You may as well try bleaching it if they are that badly marked you wouldn't use them 🤷🏻‍♀️

CuriousaboutSamphire · 22/04/2021 20:02

Why the OPs DS?

Colouring girl should be the one to pay!

CrumbsThatsQuick · 22/04/2021 20:02

Not the point but 2 white school shorts for a 15 year old are 9.50 in sainsbos.

I'd be very cross to. Would look for son to sort with girl responsible. Id be slightly careful about going to school, as I agree there maybe more to it than he has let on.

supersonicginandtonic · 22/04/2021 20:03

I doubt it was an accident to be honest: I also don't think your son is telling you the truth.

I would also buy cheaper shirts going forward. That way it's easier to replace them.

Poppins2016 · 22/04/2021 20:04

I'd soak in a solution of water and Vanish overnight, wash on a warm (not hot) setting with a scoop of Vanish and then dry in full sun for a day.

Do tell your DS he can start paying for replacements, the 'accidents' will either stop or he'll be keener on speaking to the school...

CuriousaboutSamphire · 22/04/2021 20:05

DrSeuss if your DS is up for it he should wear them both with some pride. And every time someone mentions it point out that Colouring Girl coloured in 2 brand new shirts. So he will be wearing them until he wears them out.

And yes, tell the school, mainly so he won't get into trouble for it.

Original poster
DrSeuss · 22/04/2021 20:05

He is very tall so in adult sizes. We can replace them from Asda or similar but that's still money out of my salary which I resent.

OP posts:
Dishwashersaurous · 22/04/2021 20:06

Does he get any pocket money? He will need to earn the cost of new shirts as he's clearly not telling the truth.

And he will just have to wear them with a mark. If he gets in trouble then he can explain why and deal with the consequences.

Hes old enough to effectively have to sort this out himself

Original poster
DrSeuss · 22/04/2021 20:07

Thanks, Poppina, I will try that.
Curious, he is quite shy. I doubt he's going to do that although I agree with you.

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 22/04/2021 20:08

Someone cant draw on your shirt that much without you noticing/having time to react to stop it. Does he like this girl? DS often comes home with random drawings etc on his hand/arm from girls that he likes.

HugeAckmansWife · 22/04/2021 20:09

Marks that size don't happen by accident do they. Your son must have stood still while she did it so it is his fault and the cost should come out of his pocket money or whatever. At get them from Matalan or supermarket or something.

Original poster
DrSeuss · 22/04/2021 20:09

Dishwasher, I think that is how it will have to go for now. If it was a tiny mark I wouldn't care but we are talking a lot of highly visible, bright red pen. I suspect that I am getting a part story, too.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 22/04/2021 20:10

@DrSeuss

Thanks, Poppina, I will try that. Curious, he is quite shy. I doubt he's going to do that although I agree with you.
That's a pity. Cos it would be quite a smooth way of getting a poke back at a young woman who is possibly bullying him (would have said she fancies him, but we all know how that goes 😊 )
lljkk · 22/04/2021 20:11

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
DrSeuss · 22/04/2021 20:11

I have decided that you are all correct in your advice to make him buy replacements. Thank you for your excellent suggestions. Maybe when a few weeks' pocket money is used to buy shirts, he will think again!

I had also wondered about his feelings for this girl!

OP posts:
Original poster
DrSeuss · 22/04/2021 20:14

Thanks but those won't fit. He wears adult shirts due to his height in narrow fit due to looking like a beanpole!

OP posts:
Beforeiwasrichandfamous · 22/04/2021 20:15

Have you tried Elbow Grease. You can get it in the Poundshop. That gets lots of stains out.

Haven't read all post so sorry if duplicate advice.