Nicknames for the neighbours

[FrankButchersDickieBow]

Are we being unreasonable for not knowing our neighbours real names and have nicknames for them instead?

We have Mr P - Mr perfect, you know the type, wears his charity t-shirt going for his jog, reels his washing line in when the clothes are dried, wears tartan for golfing etc.

Onslo and Daisy, argue on the street, loves a velor tracksuit,

The horse whisperer - walks bandy legged, obsessed with horses, has it on their letterbox

The Young Ones - only young couple who live in the street and always have people round

The Exhibitionist-loves to get out the shower and trot round naked in his room after a shower

Batty old art teacher - curly hair, does yoga, smokes weed

Shagarada - heard her shagging one night whilst we were in the garden, she had her windows open.

My name, is Michael Caine, and I am a nosey neighbour

Anyone else use nicknames?

I have 'Foghorn Leghorn' a woman who speaks so loudly that you can hear her on the phone even with her windows closed. She lives on the opposite side of the road to me!

We've got TitsPervert because he always looks at my tits when talking to me

Yes, we call one of our neighbours Pat Phelan (from Corrie) Absolute image of him!

Mr McGregor because he shoots rabbits.

We have wankernan in his wankervan, the rest in the close are lovely or slightly mad.

Yeah we do
There's the lovely old lady opposite, named as she says lovely things about my DC's being well turned out and we'll behaved. Next to her is baldy twat, he's a twat, he's bald, no one likes him and I think he hates all of us too. He has a proper chip on his shoulder.
Two along is "oh shit, DDs teacher"- moved in a while back now and at one point was a teacher at DDs school (now ds' too). She and her boyfriend are stars.
Shouty man who can't drive is along a bit. Shouts at his small daughters who he treats like child labour to the point I was in a crap mood one afternoon and got so sick of him being foul to one of them I told him what a bellend he is. He doesn't shout so much anymore
We had the nice students this year too but they've just moved on sadly. Lovely girls.
Next door to us though is "why is there never any nice tenants". Every single lot have been utterly crap.
We are probably "the djs" cos we play the local street party every year. I know DD is scary teen or "Greta" to some as a local councillor ran away when she asked him a politely put question during the election. Video went everywhere locally (DD still thinks he lost because of this).

Russell-he is always eating crisps

We have:
bag lady (unkempt elderly lady)
fat dog family (family with a very obese Jack russell)
cat thief (lured my cat away with food)
pyjama people (always in pyjamas gardening, putting bins out, chatting to neighbours etc)

Love this. We have nicknames for nearly all ours.
The moomins
The top knotts
Ben and Holly ( replaced by the vampire)
Trunchbull
The urban hikers
Just eats

We’ve got a Mr Fussy (like the Mr Men one who straightens his blades of grass with a ruler etc.) - he’s always doing his velvet-carpet lawn, and he is a grumpy old fusspot.

We used to have a Quick Walker - before we found out her name.

Mind you, it can be dangerous if you’ve got kids who are not yet at an age of discretion. Friends of mine were still in bed one Sunday morning when someone rang the doorbell and their ds of about 10 answered the door.
‘Mum!’ he yelled at the top of his voice. ‘It’s Victor* and Miss Piggy!’ 😱
*not his real name.

That’s pretty funny! I don’t have that, unless it be “the drug dealers over the road”...

I have a very nosey couple opposite - they sometimes text "Nice neighbour" to ask if he has guests as there is a strange car parked outside his house or why he came back home in a taxi so late on a Saturday night. I got talking to Nice neighbour yesterday and he let slip he refers to them as "MI5" .

In previous houses I've lived near:
"The Arsonist" - always lighting bonfires.
"Dafty Dave" - perpetual moaner and bit of a tit - never met one neighbour who liked him
"John the Gardener" - older guy who liked to give advice about what people were doing wrong with their gardens, I found this out when I found him letting himself into my back gate to "sort the garden" when I moved in! He seemed surprised that I wasn't best pleased to see a strange man in my back garden.
Skateboard family - The sons aged in their late 20s and the dad in his 50s were always pissing about with skateboards up and down the road.

We've got:
Phil Mycock (named by my son who was about 14 at the time!)
Daycare Dan
The Orange Lady
Peter File(!!)
The silver car woman
The Whore(!!)

We have the
Hillbillies. Constantly making rickety contraptions often to try and hold up their badly put up fence. They have this extended family they like to entertain in the garden, cannot talk at a normal level and then add music to the background!
Ken and Barbie. Like to sunbathe in swimwear. Barbie is obsessed with cutting the grass and is even out there in January.
Rhetorical Question man forever shouting at his family using rhetorical questions

I have Carling Couple, from my office at home I can see into their garden and whenever it's sunny they are out in their garden drinking Carling, the husband drinks it from the can and the wife pours it into a tea cup to drink, I always look at them an feel a stab of envy when I'm working (something else tho as I don't think Carling)

I also have Mrs Neighbourhood watch, sees everything and knows everything that happens in the street but having got know her she's lovely just a bit lonely

Yes, neighbour who owns mini, is know as mini lady, neighbour who's house faces a different way to ours is known as , side house lady/side house man. We once had a conversation about this and thought the neighbours probably call us the large couple

Nicknames: cleaning lady... opposite, often takes the washing out to hang up early.

Gym man aka weekend dad. He used to go out with a holdall regularly. Know names of 12 of the neighbours, lots are quite new and transient and don't stay long. Quite a lot have died, (8 at least)

Two do need nicknames. One nice enough, one not so nice.

I doubt we have complimentary names.autistic family. Bit noisy.

Clean car man - cleans it a lot!

Guidedog lady - fosters Guidedog pups when they are in training

The new weans - very young couple not long moved in

BetFred - bookie

Arsehole with the exhaust - arsehole with the exhaust

The pub - they have exterior lighting that makes their house look like a pub

Totally outing if my DP ever finds this! We've got Lofty, Topknot Wanker, The Addams Family and the Old Lady in the Purple Coat. Fuck knows what they call us, but I can imagine.

I know the names of my neighbours, but pre knowing them. We had (and I feel so bad)

Banshee Lady. We went to a planning meeting and she was there. Small elderly lady. She stood up and screeched at the developers. She’s actually lovely.

Woman with no bra....needs no explanation...

The cake people- they have a bakery.

Yes!

We have....

• “Trollette” (garden a riot, rude/abrupt and always wears black)

• “Car guy” (spends every spare hour he has tinkering/cleaning his car)

• “Crazy Makeup Lady” (dark orange face which contrasts starkly with her pale white neck)

• “Mr Poser” (if he was cake he’d eat himself)

• “Nice Dad” (handsome pleasant guy with two young sons)

• “Motorbike guy”

-“mobility scooter guy”

Tim- because DH says he looks like a Tim 🙄
Nice enough bloke tbf

When we were first married, We had the following nicknames for neighbours:

Spindle woman - very thin lady who walked in a strange way

Green suit woman - worked for a building society and had a green uniform

No Knicks - my next door neighbour said she didn't think she had any knickers on one day and her name was Nicola!

Miserable old cow - self explanatory

Old man boy- a 7 year old who used to talk to us as if he was the adult and we were the children.

Gom - it stood for gay old man!

Hahaha yeah we’ve always done this. We have ‘Forehead’ (she has a big forehead) and ‘BB’ (Basic Bitch). Both coined by DH, haha!

My little old nan was the worst for it. Highlights include ‘John No 1’ (there were no other John’s), ‘Budgie’ (he wore bright coloured jumpers), ‘Dickhead’ and ‘The Battersbys’

We do the same and even once we found out their names we still use the nicknames privately.