Nicknames for the neighbours

[FrankButchersDickieBow]

Are we being unreasonable for not knowing our neighbours real names and have nicknames for them instead?

We have Mr P - Mr perfect, you know the type, wears his charity t-shirt going for his jog, reels his washing line in when the clothes are dried, wears tartan for golfing etc.

Onslo and Daisy, argue on the street, loves a velor tracksuit,

The horse whisperer - walks bandy legged, obsessed with horses, has it on their letterbox

The Young Ones - only young couple who live in the street and always have people round

The Exhibitionist-loves to get out the shower and trot round naked in his room after a shower

Batty old art teacher - curly hair, does yoga, smokes weed

Shagarada - heard her shagging one night whilst we were in the garden, she had her windows open.

My name, is Michael Caine, and I am a nosey neighbour

Anyone else use nicknames?

Dog Shit Man and Blind Derek here (Derek is neither blind nor actually called Derek, obviously...)

Our old neighbours, who were the most sour-faced mean-pirited people you could ever hope to meet, were called Tubesteak and Vinegar-Tits.

The new neighbours...she doesn't have a nickname yet, but he is called "Urges". Because he accused my then 15yo old of filming his wife sunbathing (DS1 was in fact facetiming his girlfriend in his bedroom window, he showed me the record of the call at the relevant time!) and when we challenged it, he started burbling about 15yo lads having "urges". Their little girls are called the Hellions. They're lovely but they make my ears bleed.

We do! Everyone has their name 😂 I often wonder what the neighbors call us 😂

All our neighbours have nicknames!

Tits mcgee (always sunbathing topless)
Chav house
Old people
Sainsburys lady
Fag Ash Lil (always having a fag on her door step)
Ken & Chris (we do actually know their names!)
Cat woman who can't park for shit
Lady on the corner
Bald man on the corner
Grumpy Bald man
The boys
Next door

These are brilliant, reminds me why I love being British.

We have just moved and do have a new names for our neighbours already but not gonna share just yet.

When I lived a6thome me and my mum called her neighbour across the street Mr Moth because every time we turned a light on he looked across.
There was also a baby I named TC for Top Cat because he sounded like a cat when he cried.

Hoggle (looks like Hoggle from Labyrinth)

The House That Has Everything (self explanatory)

The Weird Ones (haven’t said hello to us in the 15 years we’ve lived here, completely blank us when we say hello!)

The Ones With The Horrible Dog (dog attacked another neighbours dog)

Smokey Joe (constantly smoking on the front step)

I have quite a few!

Tranny Granny - I think she actually is a woman, but not 100% sure. Must be over 70, but with very dyed black hair, extremely heavy, bright make-up and stilettos she can barely walk on. I dread trying to get past her on the pavement.

Princess Towie Pinkdoor - Moved in just before lockdown, painted her door and window frames a very pink pink, as well as painting the walls in her garden candy colours and putting up fairy lights and bunting. Clearly thinks she is fun and quirky - and a cut above the neighbourhood. She doesn’t have a car, but you just know if she did, it would have eyelashes.

The Old Man of the Sea - Because that’s what he began to look like during lockdown. He used to be Mr Cycletop, as he always wore one of those zip-up tops cyclists wear, despite not owning a bike.

The Bush Telegraph - if it’s happening locally, she knows about it and is telling you about it in great detail. She’s equally keen to tell you everything about her life, so it’s more of a ‘no filter’ thing than gossiping.

The Old Buffalo - Not my nickname for him, but I found out that’s what his lodger calls him. He looks like a cross between a giant walrus and Captain Pugwash.

Dressing gown man - Not the most imaginative of names, but throughout the first lockdown, he used to put the rubbish out, collect parcels and talk to neighbours - even following one down the street to do so - in a white dressing gown, whatever the time of day. It should theoretically have been filthy, but it always looked pristine white.

Bearded Rae - Looks exactly like Rae from My Mad Fat Diary, except he’s a bloke and has a wispy beard.

Our neighbour is named Alan, but we call him Frank because it suits him better.

We have The Nosies who live opposite us, they watch everyone and everything that goes on in the street, comment on it, spread rumours and basically invade everyone else’s privacy. We have The Witch no one in the street talks to her and my dog who is extremely friendly to everyone growls whenever he sees her. The Odds who probably raved and hit the drugs scene it a bit too hard in the 90s and seem to still becoming down from a high 30 years later 😂

Hamster coz he’s a bit hamstery he’s a very nice man though

Just moved in so not yet, but previous incarnations were Les Miserables, Captain Underpants, Little Lord Fauntleroy and The Malvolios. We only had nicknames for the ones we didn’t like (even though we knew their real names anyway)

We have Mike and the Mechanics (always tinkering on his car with his sons), Loopy-Lou (walks up and down the road loudly complaining about things that aren't actually a problem e.g. a car doing a perfectly legal 3 point turn), Party Pete (once had a small gathering of friends round one evening about 5 years ago), Moaning Mitch (always bitching about kids playing in the garden or cats daring to exist or the postman "hiding" his parcels so he can't find them) and our NDN used to be nicknamed after TV characters we thought they looked like but we had to stop that when DH wrote them a Christmas card with those names in instead of their real ones

@ferneytorro we have a KenBob for same reason. He told me once to visit a place and say Ken (or Bob) sent you I said “oh who’s Ken (or Bob)” he said “I am” looking very confused. I went home and told DH that we had his name wrong and we started calling him KenBob as a joke between ourselves we’ve been doing it so long we can’t remem which is the right name now

@Effinell I wonder if you live near me, we have far two many solar lights And live opposite Mr and Mrs Feral, except we call them The Stigs (of the dump) as they always have a colossal amount of crap and rubbish out the front of their house and on the street outside.

We also have:

Witchypoo the bird hater (self explanatory)

Flash Gordon (flash git called Gordon)

The Purple Lurker (lurks around in her purple anorak whatever the weather)

Our old house NDN were The Clampets, lovely village they moved in and immediately bought a battered VW Golf which they used as storage for garden furniture and rubbish. The DH also felt it acceptable to bring home one of those gigantic sand and gravel type lorries you see and park it on the drive in our tiny cul de sac everyone was very happy when they moved

This thread made me laugh so much my eyelids nearly turned inside out

Most of these are brilliant. Two surprises for me were that "the Americans" weren't "the Yanks" and how many weed smokers people have as neighbors. Since it's illegal in the UK I didn't think it was that common.

New York, where I live, just because the 16th state in the US to legalize weed for recreational purposes.

Oh! And Super Mario (just plain old Mario these days). Don’t know his name but we do know he works for a plumbing company.

Oh, and I'm semi-rural with a county nature preserve adjacent to our property, so I have no neighbors visible from my house.

Dodgy Derek - because he is dodgy and just fucking weird.

Knickerbockerglory - She has a tendency just to hang out her lacy underwear .

Grumpy Chops: the woman who lives next door and refuses to speak to us, for reasons really only known to herself (as she won't speak to us!). Scowls every time she sees us. Daft as a brush.

I know all four of my neighbours, but they don’t have nicknames as they’re nice people.
Though my dm house (original family home) we have nicknames.
The builder, the Farmers, Mick the prick, the rocker billies and the tank.
They’re pretty self explanatory. Mick and his wife are a pair of snobs, but he’s especially a prick. The tank is a nosy cow who always looks like she’s on a mission, hence she marches like a tank on a mission.

The hipsters

Shouty man

Pie man

We call the couple opposite us Tina Titties as her name is Tina and she’s blessed up top. Not sure her husbands name but we call him Gorbachev because he is bald and has a large birth mark on his head.