To ask how to feed everyone?

[SleepingStandingUp]

So I had twins Dec 2019, and have a nearly 6 yo. DH went off Pat leave mod Jan and then covid hot so he was WFH since March 2020. Looking to go back to the office after May Day.

I don't know how to get three kids fed and washed, DHs dinner (and in theory mine) cooked and all ready for bed at 7.

And I know it's pathetic. I don't even have a job so there's no excuse but I can't seem to make it work even with the help of DH being WFH.

We get in from school at 4. DH in at 6. By then it's too late for the kids to eat as they're starting to get tired.

So I need to feed the 3 kids between 4-6 whilst providing supervision because the twins climb everything, house is as safety proof as possible unless it were literally bare. And they fight over every toy. And no they're not obedient enough to stop when I tell them because I'm useless.

Then I get the mat and high chairs out, put them in and they immediately try to climb out whilst I get food / get them to eat / get them to not drop it all on the food. At least one of them will barely eat and scream to be free. Then go for his big brothers food.

Meanwhile I need to have DHs dinner pretty much ready to go for 6 and ideally mine. But I can't get back in the kitchen because I need to supervise dinner, wash them and dress them.

DH, once he's eaten, takes eldest up to bed at 7 and will obv help with anything downstairs beforehand if there's time.

But it just doesn't work. I'm currently waiting for dinner to cook for us, the twins barely ate and screamed a lot, eldest had his on the sofa so he's safe from the babies and I've cried.

I know it's not hard. O know people do it and work full time and with more kids but I feel like someone's going to fall out a chair and get hurt and they're not going to eat properly and they just scream because they're unhappy and hate m3

[CreatedANewName]

make one main meal and keep it warm- like casseroles, pasta and sauce, or something that everyone can eat in batches.

[cerealgamechanger]

Batch cooking is what I do. I have several homemade meals ready in the freezer and DC get homemade meals everyday. The husband and I wait until the children are in bed to either have the same or cook something together. The freezer is your friend here.

[TheVolturi]

I had a 12 month old and a newborn at one point, and I used the slow cooker every day. Even bought pre chopped veg and meat. Chucked it in first thing in the morning and that was it. We all ate when we were ready then, I ate with dh later, it was still hot.
Alsorts you can do in it. Not used it for years now but I might start again!

[Lotsachocolateplease]

I agree with pp. batch cooking and meal prep is going to be your life saver. Often it’s the prep that can take the time so you need to pass the kids over to dh for an afternoon and lock yourself in the kitchen with some music on!
Anything with mince can be batch cooked easily and frozen. Lasagne, bolognaise, chilli, shepherds pie.
Then meal prep and freeze In bags - chicken and chorizo with peppers, prepare and put in a freezer bag. Get out the night before to defrost then all you have to do is put it in a tray and bake and add cous cous/rice.
There’s loads of ideas on Pinterest.

You can also make sauces and freeze - I make a pasta sauce and freeze in portions. It’s packed full of veggies and so just adding pasta with cheese on top makes a healthy meal.

Give yourself a break - it’s ok to have beans on toast for dinner sometimes.

[cerealgamechanger]

Ps. I batchcook everything in the evenings when it's just me, myself and I. Peace at last!

[Wibblewobble99]

Hi OP. I’d agree with others and cook a meal everyone can eat or that you guys as parents can heat up. There are some good Instagram accounts of family friendly meals which are suitable for families of all ages - what mummy makes and baby led weaning are two. Food is yummy and appealing for kids.

In terms of cooking can you make life as easy as you can? Most of my meals start with frozen veg like onions, peppers etc. I try to make big meals and freeze left overs. Alternatively if you can afford to, Gusto meal boxes for example have a range of 20 minute meals. You’ll get all the ingredients and instructions. Will your 5/6 year old be interested in helping you? As for how much the toddlers eat I don’t think there’s a kid in the world who hasn’t gone through the throwing food and tantrum phase I’m sorry it’s so tough. You could find if you all sit down as a family they may behave better as it becomes the norm.

Above all be kind to yourself. If they have fish fingers three times a week so be it! At the end of the day you’ve kept everyone alive so you’re winning xxx

[VegCheeseandCrackers]

You are doing a great job, stop being so hard on yourself!
I echo PPs who have mentioned a slow cooker. They are amazing time savers. You can literally start chucking things in in the morning or during nap times. For other days the likes of cottage pie, bolognaise, carbonara or casserole could work-easy, filling meals that can be done very simply.
I would ask your husband to have something on the way home, even a protein/cereal bar/fruit to tide him over til later on. Then as PPs have said you can feed the kids, get them to bed and have some time together.

[GrouchyKiwi]

In the gentlest way possible, lower your standards.

Pasta with pesto is a perfectly acceptable meal. Add some frozen green beans to it, baby toms on the side. Cold chicken if you want some more protein.

Tray bakes: chicken pieces/sausages, potato, carrots, toss in olive oil, bit of pepper, bake for 40 mins to 1 hour, add an easy green veg at the end.

Baked potatoes and baked beans with cheese is a perfectly acceptable meal.

Baked crumbed fish with potatoes & mixed vegetables.

Do the easy, basic meals that pretty much cook themselves during the week, with fruit and yoghurt for dessert, and then do something more substantial for weekends.

Add cucumber sticks, slices of sweet peppers, things like that to lunches to up their vegetable intake.

It's only for a short time.

[priccey]

I have 3 a similar age (I think I was on the nov 19 birth club with you). I feed the children separately, sometimes even just 5 mins before me and DH because it takes the pressure off knowing they're occupied with their food whilst I serve up.
Mine sleep 8 - 8 though so not quite as tight timings as you.
I also get easy to prepare meals for DH and me.
And I agree with pp of breakfast, 1 large meal and 1 finger food plate type thing. DD has a finger food plate at lunch of bread, meat, veg, fruit etc then a larger hot meal in the evening. If lunch is easier for you make that the twins large hot meal and a mix of easy to eat foods for dinner. You could try feeding them breakfast before school run then lunch at 11:30-12, nap after.
I am quite relaxed though if timings slip and the youngest is normally causing mischief.

[Babyboomtastic]

There are only 5 weeknights to sort out.

• Monday make a double portion of something.
• Tuesday eat the leftovers
• Wednesday eat oven food such as fish fingers

-Thursday slow cooker meal

• Friday, get the kids to help you or have a floor picnic.

I can't see why he (you maybe also) can't eat later. I'm guessing you did pre children days. Before my kids were born I'd often not get home until 7, sometimes later, and start cooking. When people eat out at restaurants it's not at 6pm usually. It just takes resetting your tummy clock.

[Toomanykidsandcats]

We have 3 year old twins and a almost 5 year old. We all eat the same meal, I hate cooking and refuse to cook separate meals. Me and the kids all eat at 5. If DH is home then he eats with us if not I save him a portion and he heats it up and eats it at a convenient time. This is an early tea time for adults I appreciate so we usually have some toast or a little snack about 8ish. Kids have ipads whilst I’m cooking.

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

I would be focusing on trying to get them napping concurrently.

Aims would be:

• concurrent naps in cots, so you can use the time.
• strap them into high chairs with harnesses with safe activities while you food prep. Eg playdo, a4 size whiteboards and pens, waterbrush picture books, melissa and Doug reusable stickers. They might be resist being strapped in at first but I would gradually increase the time until you can get twenty mins or so. If they "scream to be free" ignore them. You are in charge, not them. They need to be kept safe.
• batch cook & freeze family meals that are one pot dishes you can all eat. There's not much additional time to make 16 portions of bolognese sauce vs 4. I find curry, pasta sauces tagine & casseroles all freeze well.
• I usually aim to batch cook 4 family portions of a different meal each weekend. This means that can rotate through those on busy week nights - DH and I reheat ours and eat it at 7.30/8pm after the children are in bed.
• yes yes to loving the slow cooker

Try and get the twins down earlier. 7.15, so you have a decent break in the evening. If they are difficult at bedtime it might also he because they are overtired.

[Purpleflashingunicorn]

I would make something during their nap time that can just be reheated or put into the oven later whilst their eating dinner. I used to do this daily as like you, we like to eat dinner around 6ish but my kids eat at around 5. So for instance something like lasagne, cottage pie, enchiladas, stew, meatloaf or casserole can all be completely prepared and put into your dish ready to go into the oven later.

Other days in between can be your “easy” days where you say bung sausages in the oven and make instant mash or make your mash earlier, refrigerate and then reheat.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

Ok I haven't ever had twins and only have 2 kids with 2 years between, so can only imagine how full on that is but I do have a DH who has always worked till late. When mine were little I chose to feed them at 5 (if I was starving I'd have something very small with them), then I would be bathing them by 6pm ready for bedtime routine and DH would usually be home between 6.30 and 7 on an easy day, or later on a harder day.

So, if he was home in time for bath he'd either take over that OR have a quick tidy up downstairs (or vice versa). After bath and before bed he'd be starting preparing something for us to eat and if it was a very quick thing eg fresh pasta we'd either eat before the kids went up at 7 and supervise kids between us (yay for Cbeebies and NickJr bedtime hour), OR get the older one settled in bed and read story while food was in the oven/on hob (as quick to settle) while I dealt with the longer bedtime routine of the youngest one. I would come down and we would eat together the two of us, with a glass of wine each.

When they were happily able to stay up later without getting overtired then we let them stay up a bit later and actually ate our dinner when the kids were still up pottering about watching Cbeebies etc and they would ask to try bits of it etc.

Basically, I think your DH needs to take over the cooking for you and him if you've sorted the kids' teas earlier.

[Phineyj]

Can you just make much simpler food? Salad, pasta, baked potatoes, a takeaway once a week? Eat the same thing on the same day so you don't have to even think about it. Also do all three kids actually need bathing every night? It sounds like your food standards are quite high and you seem to feel responsible for feeding your husband when really the other way round would work better. What ideas does he have?

[Thebookswereherfriends]

What about doing the twins main meal at lunchtime? Then you just serve up a portion for 6yr old at 5ish and give the twins some snacky bits or something on toast. I’m guessing batch cooking at weekends may be your friend here.

[Runnerduck34]

When my dc were small i fed them around 5-5.30 as they were hungry then, then bathed them bedtime stories etc and my and dh did our dinner around 8 ish when they were in bed.
You don't have to do everything, rope dh in to help when he's gets home, you and him can eat later if it's easier.

[rainbowfairydust]

Things will be easier as the twins get older, I'd say in a year time they could probably wait to eat at 6 when your husband gets in but for now if it were me, I'd be cooking for everyone and I'd sit and eat with the kids at 530, wrap up the husbands in foil and leave in the oven till 6 so it should still be warm enough to eat and enjoy... Quite often my oh moans it's too hot!! Or use the slow cooker twice a week and leave the hubbies portion in the slow cooker, or leave him a jacket in the oven with a salad and chicken or whatever left in the fridge. Basically just get through for a other year and then it will be easier. Life's too short for fancy cooking at this stage and it won't do any harm to have family meals together just at the weekend for a year.
Meals like cottage pie, lasagne, jackets, pasta bakes etc. Keep well covered up. Or a slow cooker curry, stew etc.

[Azuretwist]

How I coped after my third was born ( and I went back to work), was as neither of us worked weekends:

• SAT: eat healthy, from scratch food
  
• SUN: cook a large meal on Sun with enough leftovers for Sun
  
• MON: eat leftovers, takes minutes to pop in the oven or mircrowace
  
• TUE: pasta meal. Even if filled tortellini and sauce, with frozen peas. If more time in the day could cook spaghetti Bol, or meatballs & pasta with bag of spinach
  
• WED: freezer meal. Either something batch cooked and frozen or something like waffles and chicken nuggets and veg for children ( mine got used to things like French beans, peas, tender stem broccoli which were quick to pop into a steamer!), and croquettes, breaded fish and veg for adults
  
• THU: freezer meal again!
  
• FRI: ready meals from supermarket. Things like pizza, with tubs of salad, cherry tomatoes
  

Not ideal, but Mon-Fri meals took less than 15 mins! High chairs, with a few snacks whilst need those fifteen mins ( lots of apple rocke cakes used here!)

As mine got older and liked to - wow!! But my issue was picking up three children between two different places and getting them home, then producing a meal in a short space of time,

[Bahhhhhumbug]

I agree with Dipi79 and other pp. Every suggestion is being met with an 'ah but... '

[Phineyj]

I would alternate the bathing - 5 yo Sun, Tue, Thur, twins other days (or whatever) and feed the non bathing child/ren at that time along with the adult not doing the bath.

It's just a stage to get through. Do what you have to.

[Babyroobs]

Blimey - get dh to make a snack when he come sin then eat later ! Also with 3 young kids you have to maybe relax things a bit. Just stick to very easy to prep meals that can be prepared earlier when the kids are napping and then just put in the oven later.

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

Do you have a very long school run OP? I'm wondering why the twins dont have breakfast with 5 yr old before school run? 9.15/9.30 is late for kids breakfast.

How are you spending the time between 10 & 11.30?

My youngest is 18m and I find I have to use every 5 mins I get on a job to keep up. So while the kids are eating porridge before school run (your DH needs to help you feed the twins if they wont feed themselves - but encourage them to be feeding themselves), I'm chopping stuff into the slow cooker. Then at 4 o clock the kids watch a bit of tv for 15 mins and I can peel and chop veg and shove in jacket potatoes etc.

[tigerbread20]

Some things I found useful with 3 under 4

The veg for their dinner as a 'starter', 1 it keeps them quiet while I sort actual dinner and 2 they eat more veg than they would if served together. Usually veg takes 1 episode of a CBeebies programme to sort.

A lot of tray bake/one pan dinners, prep whilst they nap (won't take more than 10 mins for most)

Cook some meat in the day: whole chicken, gammon etc which then just needs carbs and veg (starter for kids) some examples
Roast chicken, salad, Crusty bread and coleslaw.
Gammon, egg & wedges
Leftover chicken with noodles, broccoli and baby corn

[Thingsthatgo]

Slow cooker is your friend here. When mine were little I was pretty frazzled, but I decided to take the pressure off the evenings by learning a bunch of recipes for the slow cooker. All in one meals like casseroles with loads of veg we could eat with a chunk of bread, so there wasn’t much to do other than chuck it in a bowl when it was ready. Then it would keep hot for DH when he got in. I’d make huge portions and freeze the rest. It seriously saved me.