To ask how to feed everyone?

[SleepingStandingUp]

So I had twins Dec 2019, and have a nearly 6 yo. DH went off Pat leave mod Jan and then covid hot so he was WFH since March 2020. Looking to go back to the office after May Day.

I don't know how to get three kids fed and washed, DHs dinner (and in theory mine) cooked and all ready for bed at 7.

And I know it's pathetic. I don't even have a job so there's no excuse but I can't seem to make it work even with the help of DH being WFH.

We get in from school at 4. DH in at 6. By then it's too late for the kids to eat as they're starting to get tired.

So I need to feed the 3 kids between 4-6 whilst providing supervision because the twins climb everything, house is as safety proof as possible unless it were literally bare. And they fight over every toy. And no they're not obedient enough to stop when I tell them because I'm useless.

Then I get the mat and high chairs out, put them in and they immediately try to climb out whilst I get food / get them to eat / get them to not drop it all on the food. At least one of them will barely eat and scream to be free. Then go for his big brothers food.

Meanwhile I need to have DHs dinner pretty much ready to go for 6 and ideally mine. But I can't get back in the kitchen because I need to supervise dinner, wash them and dress them.

DH, once he's eaten, takes eldest up to bed at 7 and will obv help with anything downstairs beforehand if there's time.

But it just doesn't work. I'm currently waiting for dinner to cook for us, the twins barely ate and screamed a lot, eldest had his on the sofa so he's safe from the babies and I've cried.

I know it's not hard. O know people do it and work full time and with more kids but I feel like someone's going to fall out a chair and get hurt and they're not going to eat properly and they just scream because they're unhappy and hate m3

[RebelByLight]

We have always eaten at 6 when DH got in from work. I would strap DD into the high chair (also a climber) and give her something to play with whilst I cooked. DS was allowed to watch tv for half an hour. That slowly graduated into DD being allowed to watch it too (any mischief and she was back in the high chair). I only ever looked for recipes that took less than 30 mins to prepare and cook. Spare lasagnes/bolo/Tom sauce in the freezer for emergencies.
If kids were grouchy and hungry, I’d start then a bit earlier and DH would join the meal when he got home.

[Nith]

And no they're not obedient enough to stop when I tell them because I'm useless.

The only 16 month olds I know of who stop when their parents tell them to stop do so because they're abused and scared. This has nothing to do with you being useless.

[EssentialHummus]

OP I can't comment on timings etc but food-wise I'd be paring it right back - if you have money to chuck at good ready meals, do that. If not, bulk or batch cook enough things to do multiple meals at a go. We're a really busy household and often eat the same thing two days in a row. You know what? No one dies. I'd get a handle on 5-6 simple 10-minute recipes and just do them in rotation for now, with a carpet tea once in a while of fruit, veg, hummus, toast, cheese.

[JellyTeapot]

Your twins need a proper lunch, this will help with the evenings as they won't be ravenous and grumpy.

My routine was breakfast for all kids at 7.30 (toast/weetabix/overnight oats/fruit and yoghurt) then school run, twins frequently still in food smeared pjs with coats chucked over the top. Clean up and get dressed after school run, time for activities or play. Usually a small snack mid morning (rice cake/fruit.) Lunch at 11.30 (sandwich/soup/heated up leftovers depending on what they were having later.) Nap 12.30-2.30, enough time to have lunch without tiny muggers trying to eat it, get dinner prepped if necessary and have a quick tidy up, then afternoon school run. Big child needed a substantial snack at pickup, little ones would have something small so they didn't feel left out and have a massive tantrum. Sometimes we'd be out for big child's activities, sometimes at home so time for play here after homework was done. Kids tea at 5, plenty of good ideas in this thread for quick/easy meals. Adult snack at some point here if necessary (in my case, hoovering up the kids leftovers ) Start bedtime at 7 ( we needed all hands on deck to get everyone ready) and back down for 8, cook quick adult dinner/get it out of slow cooker/oven, eat by 8.30.

This is a really hard stage. By the time they're 3 you'll be able to start having family dinners again and they won't need the same level of constant supervision. Learning how to use the tv remote was a real turning point for us

[Lovemusic33]

I would give the twins a cooked lunch, you can prepare it when they are napping? 5 year old can have a cooked meal at school? Then they only need a packed lunch for dinner and you can cook for you and dh for 7pm, he can look after the kids whilst your cooking?

[HermioneKipper]

My twins are the same age so feel your pain. We also have a 4 year old. It’s all chaotic and stressful but I feed all the kids at the same time at 5pm or thereabouts. Strapped into high chairs and often need help with feeding depending what it is. No way am l letting them go to town on spag bol without supervision. 4 year old has to feed herself.

They’re all bathed after dinner but husband has logged off by 6pm to bath them while I run around getting pjs/sleeping bags etc ready.

We eat after they’ve gone to bed. Two reasons, I wouldn’t enjoy it at all otherwise and no way could we add to the stress of getting food down our necks too.

[Floralnomad]

I’d be feeding everyone the same thing so use nap time to prepare something that can then be heated up later then it’s just the difficulty of getting everyone actually fed rather than doing any more cooking . Then you and your husband can eat before the children go to bed or after , it makes no odds .

[Whtitjd]

I think you need to prep dinner the night before/while they nap in the day .... then put the twins in a play pen and put the tv on for 30mins for them plus the 5year old. Warm-up/plate up while DH plays with them. Give them all their food and have some toast with DH. Once everyone is in bed - warm up your food, sit down, pour some wine and relax!

Also - it shouldnt just be you cooking/cleaning - DH can also do either one or the other. Batch cook on the weekend while DH looks after the three of them. Use slow cooker during the day.

Remember - it will only be this crazy for the next few months, it gets better once they are 2 and by 3 it'll be even easier. So you only need to do this for a few more months.

[aliloandabanana]

I agree with posters who say you need to have breakfast (well, the children do) before going out, an early lunch and a later nap then an early tea. Use nap time to prepare food for the evening - you can spend an hour doing food, another half an hour doing something else that you can't do with the youngest ones around, then sit down for an hour with your lunch - make that as late as possible so you're not starving by 6pm. That's the sort of thing I used to do.

Why not save some of your dinner (ie, cook more than you need) and reheat it for the children's lunch the next day? If the 5 year old has a hot meal at school then they can all just have a sandwich or similar for tea, which is much easier to prepare.

[Iminaglasscaseofemotion]

If you want to stick to making dinner for your dh coming home ( I know I would because there's no way I could wait until 8 or later for my dinner. We eat about 5.30). I would get 2 highchairs with really secure straps, strap the twins in and ignore their moaning. They're not tiny babies, they can eat snacks or have toys. Make easy dinners. Baked salmon with microwave rice and peas and sweetcorn, pasta, baked potatoes with salad. Easy dinners that can be stuck in the oven and left tk cook.

[MyCatHatesOtherCats]

@JellyTeapot, love the TV remote comment!

[AuntyHope]

Feed the DC something quick and easy, and have pasta, stir fry meals or pizza and salad with DH when he comes in. Something really simple and easy, with some veg and protein. Or just make some loaded nachos and put Netflix on. Life does not need to be complicated.

[Madmog]

I often used to eat with DD early. DH often came in around 6.30pm. If I was already doing bath time, he would take over. I'd cook his tea in the meantime, he'd eat and then put DD to bed. Even though he was tired he wanted to do this and spend time with her. I'd do the washing up while he did bedtime.

[imalmostthere]

You've had loads of great suggestions op, but seem to be taking none on board. I'm not sure what you're looking for from the thread?
Your twins aren't eating enough at lunch, and need a proper meal. Then they could have finger food at dinner time and it would be done a lot quicker and easier, and you and DH eat when everyone's asleep. Have a later lunch yourselves, and then you won't be ravenous at 6.

[ChelseaCat]

@Nith

And no they're not obedient enough to stop when I tell them because I'm useless.

The only 16 month olds I know of who stop when their parents tell them to stop do so because they're abused and scared. This has nothing to do with you being useless.

Wow that’s a massive jump. I agree that OP sounds far from useless, however I think your statement is absolutely ridiculous, assuming you don’t work in SS with vulnerable and abused children and that this is seriously swaying your judgement.

OP, i agree with previous posters that it does sound like things would be easier if you and DH ate once the children are in bed. DH might not be a snacker by nature but if it makes life easier for a few months then you’ll both soon get used to the change. Good luck with whatever you choose to do

[Popcornbetty]

Could your dh put dc to bed while you cook dinner than you eat together when he comes down? This works for us when we’re having something different to the dc or wanting to eat later.

[Luckystar1]

I have 3 children, all under 6, youngest is a baby. My tip is to have dinner prepared every day by 10am. This takes planning and preparation, but is completely possible. A slow cooker is your friend. Stick it on low in the mornings, and everyone can eat when they are hungry.

I also have a soup maker. Use chopped veg and stock and 20 mins later you have soup for lunch.

I do think you need to get more done before the school run (sorry!) but it will give you a clearer head for the day and allow you to concentrate on the children rather than the food.

[speakout]

Cook in the morning.
Prep something for the oven or put a one pot meal in the slow cooker.
Batch cook- so you only have to make rice or pasta, use a portion of sauce taken out of the freezer the night before.
If you have to ccok just before dinner time- then don't. Children will be tired and hungry.
Preparing earlier in the day w.ill save a lot of hassle later on

[Ohdofuckofdear]

Can either if you batch cook at the weekend? It saves loads of time knowing that you have a tasty home cooked meal in the freezer and all you have to do is defrost and reheat it,you mentioned then sorting the vegetable element taking ages,it doesn't have to use frozen vegetables or add the vegetables that you'd have on the side of your main meal into the actual main meal when batch cooking.

I was a single mum to 4DC and my youngest was a breastfeeding newborn and honestly batch cooking saved my nerves and saved me so much time.

With your oldest DS would he play with the twins in the evening whilst your sorting out the high chairs ect in the evening?

[Unsure33]

Lots of really good suggestions .

Just remember

Nothing changes if nothing changes .

[Palaya]

Can you cook in the morning? Are the kids good sleepers?

[Notaroadrunner]

Cook the dinner while the twins are in bed - you have a good chunk of time then. That way you can feed them whenever you want in afternoon and Dh and yourself can just heat it up later. A pasta bake/lasagne/shepherds pie would cover 2 days so you'd get a day off in between. Put veg into the meals so that you don't need to cook separate veg.

[Whybirdwhy]

OP you are not useless - life IS hard with just one toddler, let alone 2 toddlers plus a 6 year old! It's not just you, this stage of life is overwhelming and exhausting for a lot of families, it's really really hard work and stressful. And you getting to sit down for lunch in peace or a half hour sit down at some point is not just important it's vital to and should be prioritised not pushed aside. Easier said than done of course.

Some great suggestions here, you are honestly doing fine.

[Notaroadrunner]

I mean when they are in bed for their nap, not at night.

[Palaya]

I can tell you what works for me but it all depends on whether your children are good eaters, you all eat the same meal and are good sleepers etc. Otherwise it’s just pointless to tell you what works for me, it won’t work for you.