DateOfIndeterminateSex

[PosterPerson]

I’ve returned from a first date, still completely unsure of the cis sex of my date.

We met online, the person identified themselves on their bio as a woman. They certainly looked like a woman, and also sounded like a woman the many times we spoke on the phone.

The only doubt came on the day of the actual meeting. There were several markers that I felt might mean my date may have transitioned at some point.

I do not have a problem with people who have transitioned. I would have happily chatted as friends. It’s the doubt I’m unsure of, and I did not ask for fear of causing hurt or awkwardness. If this is the case, I would imagine the person did not mention it because they want to be accepted and live without being barraged with questions at every turn.

In the end, we spent some hours together, had a nice time, swapped thank you texts when we got home. And that is where we are at...

Has this happened to anyone else?

Am I being unreasonable to wish this had been clear to me somehow one way or another?

OP just throwing it out there that she could be someone who is biologically intersex. Much less likely than M-F trans but something that would be upsetting to have thrust upon you on a date if you felt like you'd been accepted as female all your life.

If I was intersex but felt pretty much female and had grow up like that, I wouldn't be putting it on a dating profile, I'd discuss it with the person when I was ready (in the same way I would with any long term health condition)

If you liked her as a person I'd meet up again and see if you can get a better sense of it and if she opens up.

Fellow lesbian here, it has never happened to me but if it did I probably would bring up gender identity in general terms. « I am glad more and more people are embracing themselves and their identity. Quite a few of my friends have come out as non-binary in recent years which is awesome. I have always felt confident in the fact that I was a woman so can’t quite relate but I am happy others are finally finding it in them to publicly make the change and adjust their identity in a way that makes them happy. Have you ever struggled with your gender identity as well as someone that presents as more androgynous or did you always confidently feel female while enjoying the androgyny?»

I am sure it will allow her to open up about her journey regarding her gender identity if any, though honestly I think the confusion is probably a good hint that it’s likely not meant to be.

Have you looked her up on social media? Before I met DH I would always look up a date online. Some people have profile pictures dating back to thier teens.