To think children shouldn't always get a choice about what they do

[Paaaaa]

We live within 5 mins of ex. Kids have 50:50 contact.

Ex has a really annoying habit of telling the kids they'll ask if they can come back here if they don't want to do whatever it is they are doing that day.

So say ex wants to go on a walk, I'll get a call to say they don't want to go and they've said they'll ask me if they can come back here whilst they go out.

AIBU to think children shouldnt always get a choice what they do? (Because I know full well that choice would be play Xbox all day!) If we are going for a walk or need to do shopping or whatever else when they are with us then sometimes it's just tough and they come whether they particularly want to or not.

I just feel like it's lazy parenting not wanting to deal with a tantrum about not wanting to do something.

[Jumpers268]

@wesowereonabreak

Looks like some people are enjoying the reopening of the pubs, that's nice!

Makes for posts making no sense whatsoever, but still.

Laughed out loud 😂😂.

OP, this is tough and your ex obviously just don't want to parent. I tend to bribe my 6 year old when it's something I know he really doesn't want to do (i.e. Tesco), by saying "after we'll go to the swings" etc. I do try to include him in the conversation on what we can do. I give 2 choices and then he chooses (so he feels like he has a say, but then he's 6). I also got him a kids Fitbit so he actually enjoys walks now 😂.

Your ex needs to be the parent when he has them. He should only be contacting you with an emergency and it's likely your children have picked up on him not really being bothered about whether they're there or not.

[Bibidy]

I do agree children shouldn't always be able to dictate what they do and don't want to do. I didn't want to go to Homebase or Carpetright with my parents either, but I had to!

My DP often gives my SCs the choice of what they want to do and they can't agree so we end up doing nothing. They also only ever want to do things that they've done before so they don't get any new experiences, which I really think my DP should be trying to give them.

He doesn't ever send them back to their mum because of it though!