AIBU to think this is a major red flag in a relationship?

[Covywovy]

A very close friend has met a man. She's a single mother of a small child.
She's competent and strong but her confidence is knocked by her divorce and has taken to comfort eating which means she's put on about 6 stone.
I think she's attractive but she's always been slim and this is making HER feel bad about herself.
Anyway, she's met a guy in his thirties. She's utterly and completely besotted. He seems to be a nice guy but he 's still at home and, apart from rare odd job, never worked.
He's making noises about moving in with her. I think his folks want him out. Now as I said he doesn't seem like a bast* or anything but in thirties and no plans or job seems a major red flag to me.
Perhaps I am missing something because he does seem charming and I'm not getting any vibes that he's the potential for violence or anything.
It's none of my business but the combination of still living at home AND long-term unemployment (not as if he's living with parents saving up for a place) with no plans at that age screams red flag to me.

AIBU?

She may have known him a while but they have only just progressed from FWB to boyfriend/girlfriend so it’s far far too soon to even contemplate moving in together!

He also seems to only want her to provide for him. I’ll put money on his parents telling him either get a job/do a course or get out our house we are tired of providing for you. He now sees that she is responsible has her self
Sorted. Money handled etc and thinks “oh look
There’s someone to put a roof over my head and feed me and I can do what I like...”

He would not Be moving in with me

They do say nothing makes a man fall in love squicker than needing a place to live. Huge red flag

I bet they'd soon 'regress ' to being fwb again if he doesn't move in.
Speaking to her last night, his mother has upped the ante and found a course for him. Trouble is it's a 3 hour drive away so he'd have to move out.
I've reassessed my opinion of him being a nice guy.
I don't think -as someone alluded to a while back - that he's a pervert but I DO think this behaviour is abusive.
He's picked on my friend as she's at a low ebb and currently thinks an unemployed bum is the best she can do. He knows he can control her.
Funnily enough a very very attractive girl ten years his junior fancied him for a while who had no kids. NOT that my friend is unattractive but this girl was stunning.
But he couldn't control her, of course, and would have to work to compete with other men.
He's a manipulative controlling abuser motivated only by a desire to do nothing.

Well, as other posters have said no one falls in love quicker than a man who needs a place to live. They have a radar for women who are at a low ebb-and strike while the iron is hot. He does not sound very nice, but your friend will probably not be receptive to you telling her it is a bad decision. However this course, that his mummy found him is a bit of a god send, if he goes he won’t be around and your friend can recover her confidence and this time next year be laughing at almost letting him move in. Or you could gently point out that it is a bit poor form for him to still be under his mums thumb and being told what to do. I don’t think it will help-I know women, attractive, educated and confident women who told me the boyfriend was only moving in because there parents wanted them out and actually suggested it and they still let them sponge of them. A woman who has just gone through a divorce, put on six stone (I know people think it is not relevant, but I did this exact same thing, and in modern app dating it is very clear that your value is deminished, it’s not nice but it is what actually happens, it can make you feel like the only choice is single or mediocre man) and who’s confidence is at a low has no chance against the hobo sexual.

@Covywovy

I bet they'd soon 'regress ' to being fwb again if he doesn't move in. Speaking to her last night, his mother has upped the ante and found a course for him. Trouble is it's a 3 hour drive away so he'd have to move out. I've reassessed my opinion of him being a nice guy. I don't think -as someone alluded to a while back - that he's a pervert but I DO think this behaviour is abusive. He's picked on my friend as she's at a low ebb and currently thinks an unemployed bum is the best she can do. He knows he can control her. Funnily enough a very very attractive girl ten years his junior fancied him for a while who had no kids. NOT that my friend is unattractive but this girl was stunning. But he couldn't control her, of course, and would have to work to compete with other men. He's a manipulative controlling abuser motivated only by a desire to do nothing.

That's the lowest of the low really isn't it? It must be awful for you seeing your friend being treated like a mug and him targeting her because her esteem is so low. Have you spoken to her about it?

@Crimeismymiddlename

Well, as other posters have said no one falls in love quicker than a man who needs a place to live. They have a radar for women who are at a low ebb-and strike while the iron is hot. He does not sound very nice, but your friend will probably not be receptive to you telling her it is a bad decision. However this course, that his mummy found him is a bit of a god send, if he goes he won’t be around and your friend can recover her confidence and this time next year be laughing at almost letting him move in. Or you could gently point out that it is a bit poor form for him to still be under his mums thumb and being told what to do. I don’t think it will help-I know women, attractive, educated and confident women who told me the boyfriend was only moving in because there parents wanted them out and actually suggested it and they still let them sponge of them. A woman who has just gone through a divorce, put on six stone (I know people think it is not relevant, but I did this exact same thing, and in modern app dating it is very clear that your value is deminished, it’s not nice but it is what actually happens, it can make you feel like the only choice is single or mediocre man) and who’s confidence is at a low has no chance against the hobo sexual.

hobo sexual bahahahaha

I'd rather choose single tbh

His mummy has found a course for him!
How sweet.
Is he 14? 🙄

Does 3 hours drive away not mean it’s not practical to live with your friend either though? Sounds like mummy is desperate to get rid, palming him off on your friend or not.