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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH going to the pub...

67 replies

happyface42 · 18/04/2021 22:37

Very hormonal pregnant lady here and I need to know if I'm being unreasonable.

I'm currently 40+3 weeks pregnant and OH has gone to the pub tonight with his Dad. I thought he was driving there so knew because of that he could only have 2 pints. However he's just been dropped off so now I know his Dad drove, he walked straight passed me on the sofa because he didn't see me sitting there which I thought was odd then when he finally sees me I can see in his eyes he's had more than two. So I've challenged him and he's said he had 2 and a half pints, he said he only feels a bit drunk because he hasn't drunk in so long and he's fine and would be fine to drive me to the hospital if things starts (hospital is 40 mins away). But whether he's fine or not he's over the limit and I can see in his eyes he isn't sober and he also smells of beer. He isn't rolling around drunk by any means but I feel so let down by him and wouldn't feel confident getting in a car with him tonight. AIBU to have just had a massive go at him and stormed off to bed?

OP posts:
Sally2791 · 18/04/2021 22:41

He’s irresponsible. Plain and simple.

Ohpulltheotherone · 18/04/2021 22:46

Based on how pregnant you are and how far away your hospital is I think he’s been really irresponsible and stupid yes.

I wouldn’t have a massive go at him now, go to bed, tell him you are pissed off and upset tomorrow. No good can come off it right now, if he’s pissed he is only going to get defensive and self righteous. Hopefully he’ll have a hang over tomorrow to pay for it

PurpleSunrise · 18/04/2021 22:48

Is it your first child?

SummerInSun · 18/04/2021 22:48

Oh dear. Dumb decision by him (and his Dad for facilitating it), but the second pint presumably wrecked his judgment about the next half. However, unless this is part of a pattern, it sounds like you've made your point and I'd let it lie after this, assuming he is apologetic in the morning once he's sober and his judgment is back.

If you go into labour tonight, he needs to call a cab or wake up a friend to drive you both to the hospital.

If this is the sort of thing that happens regularly, though, you may have a bigger problem.

RachelRavenRoth · 18/04/2021 22:49

I feel so let down by him and wouldn't feel confident getting in a car with him tonight
Absolutely dont get in the car with him tonight. If you end up in labour, youll need a taxi. Do not risk it in his car.

Aquamarine1029 · 18/04/2021 22:52

What a prick. He clearly can't drive if you have to go tonight. I would be very, very unimpressed.

Original poster
happyface42 · 18/04/2021 22:58

@PurpleSunrise

Is it your first child?
No this is my second
OP posts:
Hedgesfullofbirds · 18/04/2021 23:00

He should not contemplate driving ( nor should anyone else, ever) after two pints, the extra alleged half pint is irrelevant.

I really thought this stupid myth about two pints being 'safe' had expired long ago...

CorianderBee · 18/04/2021 23:04

@PurpleSunrise

Is it your first child?
I don't see why that matters? He's meant to be available to take her 40 mins to the hospital while in labour. I know people who's labour was 2 hours long and wouldn't want to give birth waiting for a taxi.

She's also overdue so risks of complications.

parsnipsnotsprouts · 18/04/2021 23:05

What a knob

Heyahun · 18/04/2021 23:06

I’d be raging ! Even if he didn’t have to drive you - having a drunk as your birth partner isn’t what you want

What ab idiot

Original poster
happyface42 · 18/04/2021 23:06

He's said he's sorry for upsetting me but then gone on to say he isn't over the limit because of the amount of time he was at the pub and how long it took him to drink the two and a half pints (which he still stands by is all he's had which I'm not sure I believe). He was at the pub from 8pm to 10pm so two and a half pints in 2 hours in my opinion is still over the limit? I mean it's unlikely I will go into labour tonight especially now I'm so wound up there isn't much oxytocin flowing but it's the irresponsibility of it which has wound me up. We should be a team in this but sometimes I feel like I'm the adult and he's the child. His Dad is an extremely selfish man who would have encouraged the extra drink/s I'm sure... this isn't the first time his Dad has been behind his poor decision making! I feel like texting his Mum and landing his Dad in it but I won't do that. I'm trying to get some sleep now but I'm too wound up which is also frustrating because I'm so tired and now he's fast asleep next to me!

OP posts:
Original poster
happyface42 · 18/04/2021 23:08

@Hedgesfullofbirds

He should not contemplate driving ( nor should anyone else, ever) after two pints, the extra alleged half pint is irrelevant.

I really thought this stupid myth about two pints being 'safe' had expired long ago...

I do agree with this. I wouldn't trust myself to have even half a glass and drive because sometimes it can go straight to my head and clearly isn't safe for me to drive if I'm feeling tipsy.
OP posts:
B33Fr33 · 18/04/2021 23:13

There's never a point trying to make a point with or having a go at someone who has been drinking.

If you do go into labour you'd need to book a cab, there's no point in trying to work out units if he's probably hiding the amount he has had from you.

Maybe read a book or have a bath. All this rage might just bring labour on by to.orrow. you certainly wouldn't be the first woman in labour with a useless partner sweating out a night of booze.

Speakuptomakeyourselfheard · 18/04/2021 23:18

I'd be bloody furious with his Dad and ring him and tell him so. I'd also tell his DM that you expect his DF to be on call to drive you to the hospital if you do have to go tonight, as he's partly responsible for your DH having more than he should have. No way would I let him off the hook for being so bloody irresponsible.

TimeForTeaAndG · 18/04/2021 23:22

He's sorry for upsetting you?!? He's not sorry for being half-cut and unable to be of any use? If he is glassy-eyed he is not sober and he absolutely cannot drive you anywhere!

OP, he shouldn't have had ANY. Never mind 2 pints, 5 pints, a barrel or whatever he has drunk. At 40+ weeks I'd be raging that he wasn't somewhere in the general vicinity at all times until you've given birth.

TimeForTeaAndG · 18/04/2021 23:23

@speakuptomakeyourselfheard tbh if OP's DH thinks he is fit to drive then it wouldn't shock me if his DF had had a couple as well. I wouldn't trust either of them.

Ileflottante · 18/04/2021 23:26

I expect he’s had more than 2.5 in reality. What a huge let down he is. Pathetic that he put the pub before you and his child, and would be willing to drive you while almost certainly over the limit.

Newkitchen123 · 18/04/2021 23:27

I don't think he should have gone in the first place!

Lalliella · 18/04/2021 23:28

I thought he was driving there so knew because of that he could only have 2 pints. He shouldn’t drive after 2 pints, that would put him over the limit ☹️

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 18/04/2021 23:29

YANBU

Would it have killed him to stay at hone when youre bang on your due date?

Nip this in the bud before the baby comes OP

LouiseTrees · 19/04/2021 00:10

If you do go into labour if his dads nearby and didn’t drink then his dad should give you a lift. He shouldn’t have gone in the first place OP.

FrankButchersDickieBow · 19/04/2021 00:32

I'm not sure if you've heard of taxi's?

DenisetheMenace · 19/04/2021 00:37

At your stage, I’d be pretty fed up that he’d gone at all 🤷‍♀️

UghDavid · 19/04/2021 00:42

Yes do nip this in the bud before the baby arrives. You want him at your absolute back and call forever more 🙄 God forbid any life continues whatsoever whilst your pregnant.

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