About boyfriend's insensitivity ?
Jaypreen · 18/04/2021 19:35
Hello all. I’ve been separated for about 18 months now from my partner of about 10 years. We have a 6 year old daughter who has taken it the separation as well as can be expected – but she does have moments where she gets a traumatic about the separation. Understandably she wants me and her dad to get back together again, which is highly unlikely.
About 2 months ago I met someone who I like, well – I’m sort of intrigued by more than anything. He’s not exactly my type physically, but he’s really nice, easy going and interesting. He knows all about my separation from my daughter’s father of course and how she’s still not completely excepting of the situation. Last night he came over for dinner and he met my daughter for the first time. They got along well. Thing is – as we were eating he asked me in front of her what the chances are of me and my ex getting back together again are?. I was aghast to be honest. I thought it was a really insensitive thing to say in front of her. She looked at me desperate look in her eye and stupidly I said “very unlikely” rather than just changing the subject. Needless to say my DD was upset by hearing me say this out loud although she’s asked me a million times the same question. She was upset when I put her to bed, she asked me about it about whether her dad feels the same way etc. I asked him to leave and I haven’t contacted him today. He’s been texting me. What should I say / do? Am I being unreasonable? Am I over dramatising?
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
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TheresNothingIWantMore · 18/04/2021 19:48
Sounds like some sort of weird power play - why on earth would you ask soneone what the chances are of getting back with their ex from 18 months ago anyway? Let alone in front of their child and after the conversations you'd had.
Big red flag for me.
Amdone123 · 18/04/2021 19:49
I also think 2 months isn't that long to be introducing him to your daughter, but I've known people do it in much shorter time spans. And presumably you know best.
Whether he is used to children or not, what a strange question to ask at the dinner table !
VegCheeseandCrackers · 18/04/2021 19:53
I do agree with PP that two months is maybe a bit too soon to introduce her to a new guy. He was mega insensitive but it makes me think you haven't had enough time together to have that discussion between just the two of you so again that makes me think it was too soon. All the same I'm not judging you in any way just that's what I would think from what you've said.
Aprilx · 18/04/2021 20:04
He either said it deliberately or he has the emotional intelligence of a flea. Equally though, you sat her down for dinner with a man you have known for a few weeks when she is already struggling with the separation of her parents. Neither of you come out well in this.
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