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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think age 5-11 is the best age to enjoy parenting

125 replies

Flowers24 · 18/04/2021 18:19

In my experience, yes. Someone once said to me when mine were babies, 5-11 is the most perfect stage, they were right, we had the best times when our kids were in this range, family days out, weekends away, holidays, 2 smiling kids who wanted to be with mum & dad, past the early baby/ toddler bit and before the teen bit, is it just me or is that the best?
Im now in teen and young adult stage , I really miss those days of them being that age, the smiley photos round the house. Now it feels parenting is mainly difficult, with the odd nice bits thrown in :(

OP posts:

KindleRemote · 19/04/2021 00:08

Mine have definitely got easier in the last 18 months. They're 8 and 6 now. I detested the baby stage with DS1, didn't mind it so much with DS2. But that could be because Satan's child would have been easier than DS1, I don't know?! Toddler years were OK with DS1, absolute hell with DS2.

Hm2020 · 19/04/2021 00:10

I really enjoyed the toddler years I actually find it harder to entertain my 6 year old maybe cos he’s an only

blueshoes · 19/04/2021 01:44

@DenisetheMenace

Ours are 18 and 26 ands it’s just lovely. Throw the first grandchild into the mix, perfect!

Didn’t enjoy babyhood, too fraught, toddlerhood, delightful, school years, ups and downs. Now really is very nice indeed 😃

I am looking forward to coming out of the teenage years. The best is yet to come

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 19/04/2021 01:55

I'd go a bit later maybe 8-14

My Dd just turned 14 and it's just in the last few years that we can watch a movie together that we both actually want to see and not bloody Frozen, talk about interesting topics and it be a 2 way debate, her have opinions on things that are her own and that I respect. Plus it's really very nice that she makes her own entertainment a lot with friends now. She still wants to spend time with us so far (I'll be sad when that changes) but equally she can just go out into town or for a walk with friends and amuse herself with no effort on my part which is very welcome.

When she was 5 I was still holding her hand to go to sleep at night I think PFB.

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 19/04/2021 02:03

Other primary age things I don't miss
Kids meals, fussy eating
Hanging around outside ballet and swimming lessons
Being responsible for PE kits and packed lunches (it's now firmly all her own responsibility)
Pick ups and drop offs that feel increasingly pointless by upper primary but you feel some social obligation to do it.
Never being able to leave them on their own

notangelinajolie · 19/04/2021 02:03

I would go further than that and say 0 -11 are the best years.
After 11 and secondary school not so good.

Quaagars · 19/04/2021 02:32

Depends on the kids, surely.
Mine are now teens and it's easier now as the eldest was an utter, utter nightmare when younger.

RampantIvy · 19/04/2021 06:44

I'm envious that so many of you aren't having to deal with the emotional baggage of teenage years.

fizbosshoes · 19/04/2021 09:02

Kids meals, fussy eating
I dont miss this...because it's still an issue and DD is 14!

HelenHywater · 01/05/2021 08:05

I think the teenage years are the best too. I now have children aged from 8-22. They are just so interesting and funny and engaging. You can have proper conversations, and they have views (lots of views). You can see them becoming adults, and it just makes me so proud. they're kind too.

Their world is so interesting. I love it when their friends come over. I love it when they laugh together.

other than that, the baby and toddler years were my favourite. Sure they were relentless and exhausting. but so cute! so in fact I think the 5-11 years are the least interesting.

Phineyj · 01/05/2021 08:10

Oh goodness, no. The baby years were definitely the best! Age 8 is an awful age for us. So many problems, some of them quite expensive. Hoping it's getting it all out of the way early and we'll have a lovely teenager.

You just can't generalise.

Synthesiser · 01/05/2021 08:16

Baby and toddler - Cute but quite hard work
Primary school age - they were lovely but I didn't like dealing with primary school mums and bit of bullying of one dc
Secondary (14 and 16) I'm enjoying this age and no bullying or having to deal with mums

EssentialHummus · 01/05/2021 08:18

I’ve just got the 3.5 year old but love this age. She has her (tantrum) moments but generally biddable, easily placated with food/free activities/a visit to the same park, can play by herself or with other kids for a bit, asks interesting questions, takes in all sorts of things about the world... it’s really great.

UpAt5amAgain · 01/05/2021 08:20

Up to 1 year is super easy other than broken sleep.

1- 3 is really awful. Hated this age with both of them so far. Especially the kind of 12-18m section. Awful.

Now DS is 5 and pretty easy. I'm due number 3 and the only bit I'm dreading is age 1-3.

It's nice reading some people say the teen years are ok. I'm dreading them. I hated being a teen and tbh still don't like teenagers much. I'm hoping I'll like my own...

zafferana · 01/05/2021 08:21

Yes, I think in terms of parenting being rewarding, you're absolutely right. Once they get to secondary and hit puberty they're hard work all over again, but in a different way. DS1 is 13 now and he just doesn't want to DO anything. He never wants to walk into town or go out for dinner or go on holiday or go to the zoo or anything.

However, this also true I found 8-11, their conversations were so so dull. All DS2 wants to talk about is Minecraft, Jailbreak, superheroes, YouTube and other stupid stuff that I have zero interest in. Teenage DS1 at least I can have an interesting conversation with (if he's in the mood to talk and not grunt!)

theliverpoolone · 01/05/2021 08:27

I totally agree. There were times between 5-11 that were hard - I worried a lot about dd fitting in socially - but looking back, the lovely times we had together were wonderful. I enjoyed taking her for days out to farms, parks etc, when she was happy and interested in everything, and really miss that now she's 13 and doesn't want to do anything except stay in her room . I would love to go back to when she was 8 or 9 and have some of the fun times again.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 01/05/2021 08:30

I agree it’s best for family fun but I found my eldest easier as a baby and teen rather than the bit inbetween.

Thirtyrock39 · 01/05/2021 08:35

I really like 7-13. Pretty much Can do everything for themselves, good company , very rare to have meltdowns, can cope well with tiredness, queues , change in mealtimes etc , start to like films etc that are more interesting for all- eg no more peppa pig! ... social stuff is the main challenge at this age though as friendships become more important and change - good in some ways that by secondary school parental influence fades over friendships

pinkhousesarebest · 01/05/2021 08:37

Oh yes! And I say that with very easy teens of 17 and 19. They were great years - much more complicated now with screens. Somehow we missed that in their childhood. When it came in early teens it was like a tsunami

      I miss it, but I am not grieving it either as it’s great to have my life back and rediscover my dh.

Oyvavoy · 01/05/2021 08:48

I love it! Absolutely my favourite ages. Wish I could freeze time!

ragged · 01/05/2021 08:52

12 is my very favourite age, 6 my least favourite.
I probably enjoy teens best. Yes really...
I wish I had appreciated toddlers & preschoolers more.

My dad says age 5 & 8 are best.

Stoptalkingtome · 01/05/2021 09:03

Hate weaning, tantrums, potty training, getting them to sleep etc, love age 6-10 a lot. They still are very innocent, enthusiastic, love you a lot too.

Teen yrs have been lovely in that we can share interests and comedy, but not without friendship dramas and big toddler tantrums at times. We haven't had any heartbreaks yet, thank god. Dreading that. I guess how much you enjoy the teen yrs depends on how easy your teen finds life.

paralysedbyinertia · 01/05/2021 10:05

I guess how much you enjoy the teen yrs depends on how easy your teen finds life.

I think there is probably a lot of truth in this.

Thatisnotwhatisaid · 01/05/2021 10:13

My older three fall in this age group and I have to agree. My younger two are 2.5 and 9 months, they can be absolutely relentless at times and make days out a bit more complicated. Older three are pretty straight forward right now, they very rarely have an issue with them tbh.

phoenixrosehere · 01/05/2021 10:24

My sons were easier when they were babies.

A 6 yo barely verbal ASD who tantrums and/or melts down on an almost daily basis and a 3.5 yo that is full of energy and they play off each other is hard. A little less sleep was so much easier than what it is now..

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