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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think age 5-11 is the best age to enjoy parenting

125 replies

Flowers24 · 18/04/2021 18:19

In my experience, yes. Someone once said to me when mine were babies, 5-11 is the most perfect stage, they were right, we had the best times when our kids were in this range, family days out, weekends away, holidays, 2 smiling kids who wanted to be with mum & dad, past the early baby/ toddler bit and before the teen bit, is it just me or is that the best?
Im now in teen and young adult stage , I really miss those days of them being that age, the smiley photos round the house. Now it feels parenting is mainly difficult, with the odd nice bits thrown in :(

OP posts:
WorriedMillie · 18/04/2021 19:03

DD is 8 and so happy and carefree, I’d quite like to freeze time

Miljea · 18/04/2021 19:03

See, I loathed, loathed, loathed birth to 14 months with DS1. It was by far and away the worst year of my life, and possibly his.

I was screamed at 24/7 for months on end, for no reason anyone could find.

.

DS2, 2 years later, was considerably easier- tho noted by my mum-friends to be the loudest child, ever 😂, but he'd feed then sleep which was a revaluation to us. Who knew? - but for me it was one long slog until they reached 'the age of reason' 5-6. Thank god.

BackforGood · 18/04/2021 19:06

Well, YANBU to think that, same as someone else IsNBU to think the newborn or the toddler years are the best.

For me, I think it gets better and better as you go through all the stages. Mine are young adults now and I love it. I love the great adults they have become. I am incredibly proud of them. I enjoy their company but I also am an independent adult once more who can do things spontaneously.

Happycat1212 · 18/04/2021 19:07

I personally disagree, mine have got harder as they got older but I am different to must as I preferred the baby/toddler stage and find that easier

Northernsoullover · 18/04/2021 19:10

My eldest was an absolute arse from birth to 14. He's nearly 18 now and such good company. I don't miss childhood (I can't even say early childhood) one bit.

3AndStopping · 18/04/2021 19:12

No idea. Mine are 4, 2 and due in august! But I hope you’re right Grin

Mumofsend · 18/04/2021 19:12

Mine were easy babies. My current 6.5 year old is impossibly difficult

paralysedbyinertia · 18/04/2021 19:14

I don't agree.

I think the 5-11 stage was absolutely lovely, but I thoroughly enjoyed the baby and toddler years as well. The cute factor more than made up for the hard work.

Now, we are well into the teenage years, and I think this might be the very best stage of all. I honestly don't know why teenagers get so much negativity directed towards them. I find that they are much fun and have such an energy and zest for life. My dd is such great company these days - we have amazing, interesting conversations and she makes me laugh more than anyone else on the planet. It's just incredible to see your adorable little kids gradually morphing into wonderful mini-adults with ideas, opinions and morals of their own, independent beings who you can truly like, respect and admire. The only downside is that the whole experience is tinged with the sadness of knowing that they'll be leaving home in the near future, but perhaps even that is a gift as it makes you savour the whole experience more while it lasts.

I really think every stage is wonderful in its own way. Each has its challenges too, but they are more than worth it in my view.

TunstallTansy · 18/04/2021 19:23

I love the teen/young adult stage much more! Films, cocktails, city breaks, great conversations.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/04/2021 19:27

Mine is about to turn 8 so I haven't got to the teen years yet so no experience there. This age is miles better than the baby and toddler stage though, DS doesn't need constant supervision and absolutely everything doing for him but he's still young enough to enjoy spending time with me.

HavelockVetinari · 18/04/2021 19:28

I've voted YABU despite DS being only 3, because I can't imagine it gets better than this! He's so funny, and sweet, and interested in everything, but still loves a snuggle 💗

OkOkWhatsNext · 18/04/2021 19:35

Mine are 5, 8 and 10, so now thinking I’d better start really appreciating every moment before it all starts going downhill in the next couple of years! I would say that they are a good combo at the moment, youngest is quite sweet and lovely, oldest is mature and can have interesting chats, middle one is sweet and can adapt to play games with youngest or talk minecraft with oldest. And they can get themselves up in the morning and entertain each other while we have a lie-in occasionally! So yes, not bad, I hope teen years on the horizon don’t ruin things!

paralysedbyinertia · 18/04/2021 19:38

He's so funny, and sweet, and interested in everything, but still loves a snuggle

@HavelockVetinari, my dd is still like this at nearly 16!Smile

m0therofdragons · 18/04/2021 19:38

I’m currently loving 13 and 9. 13 yo is lovely and I can’t imagine her suddenly becoming a nightmare. She talks to me, hangs out and helps out. I know that will change but I think she’s going to be a lovely teen (but I think most are).

ludothedog · 18/04/2021 19:41

I loved 0-3 years but mostly because I didn't work for the first year and then very part time. It was all long walks with the dog and stopping at a cafe for a coffee and cake. Lots of days out with friends.

Iamuhtredsonofuhtred · 18/04/2021 19:43

YADNBU.
Twins 4.5. Only just becoming human. I can see in a year they’ll be a breeze.
DD2 is 8 and an angel.
DD1 is 12 and a grumpy sullen monster. A year ago she was delightful. Primary age is the absolute best.

HavelockVetinari · 18/04/2021 19:46

@paralysedbyinertia

He's so funny, and sweet, and interested in everything, but still loves a snuggle

@HavelockVetinari, my dd is still like this at nearly 16!Smile

That's lovely to hear! I'm glad your wee girl is so lovely, may it continue ad infinitum Flowers
oblada · 18/04/2021 19:47

I quite like anything after 2yrs old. More communication, loads of fun. Having said that I quite enjoyed the baby stage with my first 3kids but many because I carried on doing what I liked and they just tagged along in the baby carrier. Easy. But now with my 4th child it is nice but also very stressful but that's because she has a condition which requires additional care, frequent surgeries and along with that worry over weight gain etc. Looking forward to being past 2yrs old with her!

I do get what you mean though for 5-11. I have 2 kids in that bracket and they are lovely to be around. When I only have them at home it's definitely a very relaxing time for me. My 4yrs old is fun but not yet independent of course and can have tantrums etc so much more tiring.

I don't know about teens yet....all that fun to come yet.

RuthW · 18/04/2021 19:47

I found the years got better and better. She's 24 now

Candycane57 · 18/04/2021 19:52

I'm pregnant, have twin nearly 2yos and a 4 year old. I bloody hope your title is right. I love my children but I feel like I'm waiting for the next stage to happen for the oldest.

gingganggooleywotsit · 18/04/2021 19:52

I agree totally op, it’s a lovely carefree age. Find the early years physically exhausting and the teen years mentally exhausting! 5-11 is just right!

Saltyslug · 18/04/2021 19:55

I liked every stage but particularly enjoy seeing glimmers of adulthood in my children as secondary aged children and teens. I enjoy helping build independence, the interesting discussions, the better distanced/paced walks and the absence of cartoons

arethereanyleftatall · 18/04/2021 19:58

Oooh no, totally disagree. Dd is 12 now and it's definitely my favourite year so far. She's making me laugh out loud now every day. I found 8-11, their conversations were so so dull.

Saltyslug · 18/04/2021 19:59

My children have got more interesting with age, more adult wit also. Mine are all teens now.

lazylinguist · 18/04/2021 20:00

All ages have their benefits imo. Mine are 13 and 15 nearly 16. The 15yo was pretty grumpy at 13-14 but is an absolute delight again now. My teens are bright, hilarious and good company. And the fact that they are old enough to be left on their own for a while is so lovely. So I'd say this age is great!