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AIBU?

to think theres a snobbishness over video gaming?

58 replies

PasstheBucket89 · 18/04/2021 10:38

obviously moderation is key, things like sleep can be badly effected, safeguarding is important in terms of private chats and stuff like that.
But i do think for some people i. e people on the spectrum being able to talk through a headset and play a game without having to navigate body language and eye contact is actually quite beneficial sometimes.
People get heated and rage quit, but people get heated and ragey in football too, all competitive sports.
it can be beneficial in terms of problem solving skills, better than being zoned out in front of the tv.
My dyslexic soon actually came on in terms of reading because he was reading all the time without struggling to read a book making him anxious.
am i alone in thinking that in moderation it can be a force for good especially in a pandemic. x

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

LolaSmiles · 18/04/2021 15:51

I don't think there's snobbery around people enjoying playing video games, but do think people have very little time for adults who devote a disproportionate amount of time to gaming, often at the expense of other areas in their life.

For example, people on here can be quick to judge some men who game, but it's not because they enjoy gaming and more because these men seem to prioritise gaming, opt out of family life and domestic chores and generally behave like a moody teenager if to to put their x box down and do the dishes.

Timeforabiscuit · 18/04/2021 15:57

I always take heart that they used to accuse novels of rotting young minds, and my mum was frequently told she would lose her eyesight being " stuck in a damned book all the time".

For me it's a form of escapism similar to reading, can easily lose an evening absorbed in either.

AdoptedBumpkin · 18/04/2021 15:58

There used to be a lot more snobbery in the 90s. It was seen as a geeky thing by many people. More people, and more women, seem to play them now.

Whinge · 18/04/2021 15:59

@Oilpyi

I’ve found the reverse to be honest, maybe we are all just sensitive to the messages that conflict our lifestyle choices.
I’ve been told that by having no gaming devices we restrict our children socially for example, that they won’t be able to relate to their peers or join in conversation. That it’s controlling, over-management or they’ll have skills gaps. Mine though have never been restricted from playing in friend’s consoles or visiting friends lots, but it hasn’t actually panned out to be much of a lure and they drifted from that towards the end of primary. I was the same, occasional player with friends as a teen but I never really got into it.
I don’t hate it, I’m not bothered what their friends do- but for lots of reasons it does t work in my house. I’m though frequently painted as something I’m not because we don’t have a console in the house. (5 kids here with a big age spread, two already grown up- I’m not just a parent of young children).

Sorry to pry but why doesn't it work in your house?

I think being able to only play at a friends house, is very different from a child having their own console and being able to play with friends.
terrywynne · 18/04/2021 16:11

I definitely see snobbery on here. There are certainly negative sides to gaming and some people seem more affected by those than others (I guess just like some get addicted to gambling and others don't).

But gaming can have social benefits (As per that article); it can help with problem solving and storytelling; it can lead to careers in journalism/programming/game design/visual design/character development; there can be an active fan community with people developing creative skills; for those with the talent and ability to the job it can lead to a career paying millions of dollars (either as streamers or pro players).

I think you do need to take the time to pay attention to what games your kids are playing (and the accompanying community) and how it is effecting them but I don't think gaming is always bad. And I don't understand why it has such a bad rep compared with other activities. Me and dh both play games, as do friends, it does not stop us playing a part in family life or having other hobbies. If gaming has a negative effect on people around you, that says something about the person gaming not the entire industry. The same people would find another way to check out of family life if they didn't have games.

SionnachRua · 18/04/2021 16:16

Absolutely. I think there's a lack of understanding and a snobbery out there. A lot of people think gaming = Fortnite, Call Of Duty, Fifa etc. Just not true.

For example, I don't watch much TV or movies but I'll happily play video games. It probably amounts to the same amount of time that someone else would spend watching Line Of Duty or whatever every week. Personally I think gaming is a much more engaging hobby than watching TV but different strokes for different folks.

If someone is spending too long gaming then that's an issue with that person, not gaming as a hobby. Just as someone binging on The Office or Love Island is indicative of a problem with themselves and not necessarily the shows.

Daphnise · 18/04/2021 16:18

All sounds terribly nerdish, "boy in dark room who can't get girlfriend".

But then maybe I exemplify the attitude you feel is unjustified?

SionnachRua · 18/04/2021 16:21

@Daphnise

All sounds terribly nerdish, "boy in dark room who can't get girlfriend".

But then maybe I exemplify the attitude you feel is unjustified?

I would say you do, yeah. It's displaying a lack of knowledge about what games are actually out there and who is consuming them. It's no different to books, movies or other forms of media - you get some drivel, some marketed at arseholes and some amazing pieces.
terrywynne · 18/04/2021 16:22

@Daphnise

All sounds terribly nerdish, "boy in dark room who can't get girlfriend".

But then maybe I exemplify the attitude you feel is unjustified?

You should the girlfriends some of the pro ganerss get...I mean plenty of them are still single but that's often to concentrate on their career or because they are still quite young. They do live in a slightly odd world that is not the real world but I imagine that is the same for elite athletes.
Whinge · 18/04/2021 16:23

@Daphnise

All sounds terribly nerdish, "boy in dark room who can't get girlfriend".

But then maybe I exemplify the attitude you feel is unjustified?

Did you read the article I linked above?
AccidentallyOnPurpose · 18/04/2021 16:38

@LolaSmiles

I don't think there's snobbery around people enjoying playing video games, but do think people have very little time for adults who devote a disproportionate amount of time to gaming, often at the expense of other areas in their life.

For example, people on here can be quick to judge some men who game, but it's not because they enjoy gaming and more because these men seem to prioritise gaming, opt out of family life and domestic chores and generally behave like a moody teenager if to to put their x box down and do the dishes.

But again that's an issue with the user not gaming itself.
Threads on here are full of men checking out on family life , even without a hobby.
Others involve football,cycling, fishing and other outdoorsy activity, but you don't see people saying they limit their kid's cycling times for example.
I spend hours reading, but I have the advantage of being able to do it while I do dishes,fold laundry etc so it's not as obvious. But there have been times when I've done nothing except binge watch a show or read a whole book in one night/day. I just catch up with other stuff later or OH will do it.
Again, not a lot of judgment for avid readers either.
AccidentallyOnPurpose · 18/04/2021 16:39

@Daphnise

All sounds terribly nerdish, "boy in dark room who can't get girlfriend".

But then maybe I exemplify the attitude you feel is unjustified?

Exactly what I was talking about earlier. I wonder where you got that image from.
AccidentallyOnPurpose · 18/04/2021 16:44

@Daphnise

All sounds terribly nerdish, "boy in dark room who can't get girlfriend".

But then maybe I exemplify the attitude you feel is unjustified?

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.forbes.com/sites/mattperez/2020/01/29/top-earning-video-gamers-the-ten-highest-paid-players-pocketed-more-than-120-million-in-2019/amp/

Indeed...
therocinante · 18/04/2021 16:46

Yeah I see it a lot on here. There's a sense that it's not a 'real' hobby, or it's weird. My DH and I both game. Why is that less valid than if I got stuck into a book or my DH made friends in the pub? Very odd.

Neither of us look like basement dwelling trolls with no idea what real life is. We have jobs and friends and social lives. Some of DH's online group are 75 year old women, successful businesspeople, committed parents....the stereotype just isn't true.

But attitudes like PPs tend to come from older people who aren't digital natives. I think there's just a lack of understanding what's possible, what the benefits can be, a big disconnect between Internet and Real Life.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 18/04/2021 16:49

My husband likes to game occasionally.

I notice that for some people (maybe not all) it's quite clearly addictive but also very intense and absorbing. DH loses track of the time far more playing a game than he does watching tv, to the extent he will forget meals etc. This is the element I dislike, it seems to me that for some people its addictive and has the potential to take over their time to the exclusion of other important activities.

Luckily through our twenties DH became more aware of this because it got to where I went out without him a couple of times etc and he dawned on him what a drain on his time it became. He's been able to get it under control but has friends who really haven't been able to and have lost jobs, friends and partners over it.

bookworm14 · 18/04/2021 16:50

There is a ludicrous snobbery around gaming which isn’t there with other hobbies. A lot of people who dislike it seem to have a view of gaming that’s several decades out of date, and have no idea what is actually available. I am a 39 year old woman and play Legend of Zelda and Animal Crossing for an hour or so a day. I’m probably a more ‘typical’ gamer in some ways than the outdated stereotype of the twenty something loser living in his mum’s basement.

Of course it can be addictive, but so can almost anything.

Thatisnotwhatisaid · 18/04/2021 16:50

My DC love gaming and I’m happy they’re so passionate about something. DS loves Nintendo so a lot of his games have real storylines to follow, I think it’s great. They have a time limit every day so they don’t sit around playing on it 24/7 by any means and they do plenty of other things. I think it’s just a hobby like anything else.

InTheNightWeWillWish · 18/04/2021 16:59

@Daphnise

All sounds terribly nerdish, "boy in dark room who can't get girlfriend".

But then maybe I exemplify the attitude you feel is unjustified?

Ahh, yes. Must tell DH and his gaming friends that they’re all sad bastards in a dark room. Despite out of 6 of them in the group, there is only one not in a long term relationship. But yes, all men who game can’t get girlfriends Hmm

There is snobbery about gaming, especially on MN. People should be doing much more ‘respectable’ hobbies such as reading, playing a classical instrument (because rock music also probably rots your brain) or MN, obviously. I agree with PP that a lot of people against gaming will just watch endless hours of TV. People will also bring out that gamers will stay up late and game but people stay up late and binge watch TV series. I’ve stayed up late gaming, reading and crocheting. I’ve also stayed up late just pissing about doing not much but it’s only gaming that is looked down and seen as detriment to my life.
LolaSmiles · 18/04/2021 18:10

AccidentallyOnPurpose
I know that's the problem with users rather than gaming in itself, but I think that when there's a sizable number of men fitting that brief then people will draw an association of people within that group.

DH and I both cycle. On here a husband who cycles is some selfish arsehole who abandons his family to pretend he's Chris Froome (with added unpleasant comments about men who wear cycling clothes to cycle, even though they'd never say a woman running shouldn't wear running tights). The reality is he does his fair share around the house and we both have hobby time. Unfortunately, there's enough men who have never cycled but suddenly take it up when their wife has a baby and these men seem to have a suspicious ability to make themselves unavailable. That's how the selfish git associations happen.

Same with gaming. If you've got a group of men moaning that their grumpy wives don't like them playing x box and women who are fed up at having to tell their partner to do housework because he comes in from work and is straight on the computer, then people will start making associations based on a particular group of users.

LolaSmiles · 18/04/2021 18:11

Just to clarify I'm in no way saying people should generalise to all gamers btw, more understanding that an overall attitude to a certain type of gamer is understandable.

SmokedDuck · 18/04/2021 18:14

I think the issue is that moderation is a real problem.

Since the financial model for gaming changed, they have been designed, like electronic gambling, to be addictive. And it's effective, the evidence is that they are powerfully addictive and like a pp mentioned, you can see personality changes as a result. The chemistry of it is quite interesting.

So yes, playing in moderation is great, but you can say the same for a lot of things that are problematic.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 18/04/2021 18:30

@LolaSmiles

Just to clarify I'm in no way saying people should generalise to all gamers btw, more understanding that an overall attitude to a certain type of gamer is understandable.

I know. The issue is a lot of people do generalise to all gamers not just one "type" . Not just that, but they ardently criticise gaming itself and blame it for all kind of things.

A lot of posters on here talk about people they don't even know (gamers in general) with complete contempt and derision, often based on one single piece of info... they're gamers. They're reducing someone's whole life to their hobby.
PuffinShop · 18/04/2021 18:33

My partner basically learned English from old adventure games back in the 90s. He (and his 'nerdy' childhood friends) are noticeably better at English than a lot of people of his generation and nationality. I know quite a few British people whose reading improved a lot from computer games, too.

Depends on the game, of course, but they can be a highly motivating way of developing language skills for children who are not excited by books.

Crustybreadandbutter · 18/04/2021 18:39

Yes snobbery

However I do worry that social skills are learnt and even if my DC are not natural social people, gaming will mean less time actually being forced to practice person to person, maybe it will get better as a young adult?

Zealois · 18/04/2021 18:52

My partner and I both love to game. We also love reading, hiking and cooking; gaming is just another fun and enjoyable hobby. Sometimes we'll spend many hours at the weekend gaming and other weekends won't even glance at our consoles. 2 player co-op games have been a really fun way to pass the time for us this year. We don't watch much TV.

I've certainly dated people before who couldn't game in moderation or would nelgect important things in their life in favour of gaming. Thankfully we're both able to self-moderate and so it brings a lot of fun to our daily lives.

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