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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bought a dog - person wants it back..aibu?

459 replies

mrsdaz · 17/04/2021 15:19

I bought a dog 2 days ago from a lovely lady who was finding it hard to manage him due to working full time etc.

Agreed sale on Tuesday, collected him Thursday evening. All well. She has been in touch since by text to see how he is.

Yesterday got a text saying she's missing the dog and would have him back in a heartbeat.

Today I've had a text message from her daughter asking for the dog back. Plus subsequent phone call that I didn't answer.

Aibu to keep the dog? He's so happy and isn't pining for previous home etc. He will be with someone all the time rather than alone all day and has a companion dog here.

Who would give the dog back?

OP posts:
SneezyGonzalez · 17/04/2021 22:39

I vote for no, don’t give the dog back. They rehomed the dog for a reason, do what’s best for the dog not for them.

SausageDogSandwich · 17/04/2021 22:52

I would block her otherwise this could go on and on.

She got a dog during lockdown, hasn't trained him, didn't think through the fact that she works full time, sells him and has now changed her mind. She sounds like an idiot and doesn't deserve him.

It sounds like he is going to have a much better life with you!

Happymum12345 · 17/04/2021 22:56

I’d give the dog back. It sounds like a very sad situation.

SquirtleSquad · 17/04/2021 22:59

@Happymum12345 the only sad situation would be for the dog if it ends up back with the original owners who will subsequently neglect it by leaving it alone all day and not training it, or if it goes back to the original owners who then sell it on to someone equally or more neglectful so they can pocket the extra few hundred quid. Even if they re-sold it to someone equally as lovely as OP - that's an awful lot of change and disruption for a puppy!

Embracingthechaos · 17/04/2021 23:03

Don't feel bad at all. She hasn't housetrained him in 9 months and then sold him. She's an idiot. She probably got a better offer, but even if she really does just miss him then I still don't feel sorry for her. My rescue kitten has been with us through two unplanned pregnancies and we had a lot of bother trying to bring harmony to the house between her and the babies, but I never once considered giving her away because I love her.

As others have said, you need to get the chip sorted. That could be a sticking point. I hope for your sake, and the dog's, that they never bothered to chip him.

Mayorquimby2 · 17/04/2021 23:06

The fact they tried to sell a dog they no longer felt they could care for tells you everything you need to know about them.

DungeonKeeper · 17/04/2021 23:09

I’d give the dog back. It sounds like a very sad situation.

Right... because it’s all about the woman’s needs and not about what’s best for the dog.

LivBa · 17/04/2021 23:15

@GreyhoundG1rl a dog is an animal, not a human! Confused

Of course all responsible dog owners should consider any possible life circumstances over the potential life time of a dog and not get a dog if they think something could adversely affect their ability to keep them/care for them properly.

However of course life happens and the unexpected can mean it's in the dog's best interests to be rehomed - it's sad for everyone but nothing wrong with that at all. Dogs have associative memories and live in the present moment, they're not like humans. They don't miss their old family once they're settled in their new home and receiving all the love and care they need.

agentnully · 17/04/2021 23:25

Don't return him - for his sake.

She didn't think it through when she sold him to you, just as she almost certainly didn't think it through when she bought him. Just like many others that are now regretting that cute Lockdown puppy.

She's the type to just buy another puppy anyway. Her only regret will probably be the money she's lost letting him go fairly cheap.

I wish they'd bring back the dog licence along with a test to pass before ownership. The people with the Lockdown puppies next door would have failed dismally.

toocold54 · 17/04/2021 23:25

The fact they tried to sell a dog they no longer felt they could care for tells you everything you need to know about them.

Isn’t this a good thing?

AlrightTreacle · 17/04/2021 23:49

@toocold54

Not really, she basically tried to recoup her money back. I couldn't imagine selling my dog to a stranger and haggling over price. And then changing my mind 2 days later, the reasons why she decided to sell him in the first place won't have changed in 2 days.

Homehaircuts · 17/04/2021 23:55

No way he's your dog now change the chip details and block the number! Either she is genuinely missing him (yes it's sad) but that's going on emotion her circumstances are still the same and the dog is obviously going to suffer being left so long everyday. Or yes the cynic in me says she may of been offered a good price and wants him back to resell. Hopefully it's the first, which is sad but it's not fair on your family and especially the dog. Stays with you. YANBU

HeartsAndClubs · 18/04/2021 00:00

Someone has probably offered them more money for the dog so they’re wanting it back so they can make more money on it.

I’d bet money they’ll have a new puppy within a week and the cycle will continue.

Maves · 18/04/2021 00:01

You knocked her down £200 jeez haggling over an animal that's bad £500 is cheap atm for what dogs are selling for. You've had him two days she had him 7 months she sold him for a reason obviously but I do believe she genuinely regrets selling him BUT she sold him for a reason and that reason won't change. Just explain again that she should think about what's best for him.

Tillygetsit · 18/04/2021 00:16

This happened to us about 6 years ago. Dog was very wary of my dh and nervy about doorways and loud noise but she bonded with our older dog beautifully. 2 weeks after getting her the previous owner phoned and said his wife was crying for her.
I empathised but said dog was happy and settled and we would not be giving her back. She's currently curled up at the end of the bed. I was worried there would be repercussions but he didn't ever call again.
Hope you keep your lovely dog.

reginafalange2020 · 18/04/2021 00:16

I'm probably going to be completely bashed here but I had to rehome a dog once.

I thankfully found a wonderful family and did home checks and went for walks together first before parting with him but I can say without a shadow of a doubt it was the hardest and saddest experience of my life. I physically mourned him for months. I couldn't eat, I cried for weeks it was horrendous. I still get emotions now thinking about it, I still can't even look at a photo of him. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him but I know I did the best for him and for our family at the time. Having regular updates from his new family help me come to terms with it all.

I'm not saying give the dog back because it sounds like you would provide a much better home for the dog but I think a reassuring message to say that he/she has settled well may help her with the transition. She's probably feeling sad. Sometimes people rehome animals because it's in their best interests we aren't all careless and evil.

Don't give the dogs back though. Keep it - he sounds settled with you.

GoToSleepBabyPlease · 18/04/2021 04:46

@HeartsAndClubs

Someone has probably offered them more money for the dog so they’re wanting it back so they can make more money on it.

I’d bet money they’ll have a new puppy within a week and the cycle will continue.

I doubt that. A puppy costs more than an older dog- they'll not be making money on it at all.
rbmilliner · 18/04/2021 07:30

No keep him, what could have changed that drastically in the space of a couple of days - she still won't have time for him, she's just acting on raw emotion.
you can give him a better home.

Beyondridiculous · 18/04/2021 17:19

It’s your dog.
My guess is someone offered the larger amount and she’s going to sell him to them. Her loss and her fault entirely.

Kellymumto2 · 18/04/2021 17:21

I would keep the dog! SHE is being unreasonable!

retirementrocks · 18/04/2021 17:33

Keep him! Chances are the previous owners will part with the dog again once the reality of dog ownership has kicked in. Makes me as mad as hell when people take on an animal and don't think through the consequences of 10-15+ years of ownership like expenses for food, vet fees/insurance, time, restrictions on holidays etc. Enjoy your new addition to the family. Dogs are a joy. Lost our 13 year old a month ago and we SO miss her.

threatmatrix · 18/04/2021 17:35

Noooop, if you are giving him a lovely home home then keep him.

Onelovelyone · 18/04/2021 17:40

My feeling is that once you have paid for the dog and bought it from them then the dog is yours. Did you get a receipt? The only issue I can see is if they say you took the dog, not bought it, and have the microchip still in their name. With a receipt, whatever they say wouldn’t matter but without it, if they decide to lie about the dog and it being sold, there may be a complication. It sounds like you will give the dog an excellent home so he is with the right person!

Marcipex · 18/04/2021 17:42

Keep him, change the chip details ASAP, message her that he’s settled happily, then block her.
I bet some one had told her she could have got more for him.
And not even house trained ffs.
She shouldn’t have a dog😡

GingerGurl · 18/04/2021 17:43

The daughter is the one ticked off at how cheap he went for (especially if he was expensive to start with) and if they got him back would sell again and try for more money. I have no doubt about that!!!

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