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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let my dog bark for an extra half hour even though the neighbour was already annoyed

484 replies

Candlestand · 17/04/2021 06:16

I have 2 dogs, DH usually takes them to work so Mon-Fri they're never here during the day. Due to a bit of excess faffing yesterday morning he forgot them. Normally he puts them in the dog box in the car and sorts out DD and they all head off to nursery then work but somehow yesterday he just forgot he hadn't already put them in the car and I got a text from DH to tell me the dogs were still in the garden. Fine. I'm up in my office, WFH, the back door is open as it was such a nice day, they can mooch in and out as they please and we'll just walk them tonight instead.
I work for the local authority and we've had a nasty incident occur with a safeguarding issue for a child and I was part of back to back meetings so I never even went down for a cup of tea. I'm then in a meeting that I have been volunteered as minute taker for and there are over 20 people in this meeting and that's when my neighbour starts banging on my door. Initially I ignore him thinking it's a delivery and I can't leave this meeting but he is now practically pounding my door down so I race to the other room to open the window to ask them to go away whatever it is and he starts swearing that the dogs are barking and its really annoying. I shout down that I'm sorry but I'm in a meeting and I will sort them out as soon as I'm out of it. I can see he's furious and he storms off still swearing but the meeting is still going on without me and I have to be in it. I'm now vaguely aware that my younger dog is barking because it's been brought to my attention but honestly I just hadn't noticed before because it had been such a busy morning so I don't know how long they had been barking for. I didn't want to disrupt the meeting by asking for a break because there was a lot going on in it and we were, I hoped, almost finished but it turned out we were still going half an hour later before the meeting actually finished and because I'm now aware of it I can hear the dog still barking on and off for that time.
The thing is, we have a big garden and they don't come in when called straight away because it becomes a game to them so although me being out in the garden with them stopped the barking it takes me over 5 minutes to get them to come into the house (which I knew it would and why I didn't want to stop in the middle of a very large meeting to chase around my garden for ages). I appreciate it must have been annoying and I could see my neighbours over our fence so when I could go get them I apologised properly and tried to explain that I couldn't leave the meeting to come and get them and they were furious with me and said I was ruining their day. They are retired and are always in their garden. My dog was actually barking at their dog who was sat with them and my little dog could smell him, the older one wasn't actually barking. I tried to explain that he was just excited by their dog and if they had taken their dog in, he would have stopped barking but this just made them angrier (I meant it to try and break the tension as a discussion rather than a criticism of them, though clearly I misjudged how to say that) as they said why shouldn't their dog be allowed outside when he's being well behaved. I apologised again and just got back to chasing the dogs into the house and went back to work.

I appreciate it was annoying but I'm not sure they needed to be quite so angry. It was the middle of the day, this never normally happens at all because the dogs are not here during the week and at the weekend we're both able to be much more atuned to them if one of them starts barking at another dog or a squirrel or something and it has never been an issue before. We live rurally so other than the house on the other side of our neighbours theres no one else to be upset by the barking.
WIBU to put work before my neighbours enjoyment of their garden for half an hour?

OP posts:
WildfirePonie · 17/04/2021 09:20

Relax OP. It was a one off! Shit happens.

You just need to train the dogs to come on command. Start slow. Use tasty treats to reward when they come to you. I recommend bitesize carrot chunks, cheap and healthy.

worriedatthemoment · 17/04/2021 09:20

My neighbours dog is out barking loads in the day and its annoying especially as we are wfh and also have meetings
If you know your you her one barks then leaving back door open wasn't a good idea and a dog should come in when called , that is bad training.
We have a dog so I am not totally intolerant but also mindful of neighbours qnd barking for hours is not on
How would you feel if they made noise for hrs and you couldn't hear in your meeting ?

Bigballer · 17/04/2021 09:22

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XelaM · 17/04/2021 09:24

People om this thread hsve been wayyyyyyyy to hardh. Nothing you could have done OP. Your neighbour sounds like a nut

dottiedodah · 17/04/2021 09:24

I appreciate you were in a difficult position .However I would be pissed off too if I were your NDN, and I absolutely adore dogs and have one!Maybe next time check the dogs have gone with DH .Maybe wait a few days and let them cool off .Pop round and apologise properly .Also why didnt you hear them and if you did surely the meeting would have done too?

Thisnamewasnttaken123 · 17/04/2021 09:24

It is annoying I used to live somewhere with a barky dog with owners which just let it bark.

One of my dogs is barky he isn't left outside in the garden, if he starts barking he comes straight in.
You were being unreasonable.

XelaM · 17/04/2021 09:24

Harsh*

Vickles20 · 17/04/2021 09:24

You can fix it by just heading over there and saying you got it completely wrong yesterday. How sorry you are. Your response etc. The worst day. Really sorry. Reassure. Reassure. Reassure.
Ask their favourite tipple. And head off to shops

DenisetheMenace · 17/04/2021 09:24

Candlestand

@Sirzy That's unfair. It wasn't at all that I couldn't be bothered, I could not leave that meeting. It's not a choice to work, I have to work and its not my choice to work from home.“

That neighbour, or others, may have been in important meetings too 🤷‍♀️ You should have excused yourself for 5 minutes.

category12 · 17/04/2021 09:24

just bring the dogs in if you're not able to check on them regularly. They're like kids, they get up to stuff if left unattended for hours.

sipsmith1 · 17/04/2021 09:25

YABU, my neighbours leave their horrible yappy dogs in the garden most of the day. The my bark the entire time - they also bark if somebody walks past the house, if they are left in the house on their own or when the children wind them up. They go absolutely mad if my dog goes in our garden which causes him to come straight back inside. They drive me distraction and often wake up our baby from her naps. Ours doesn’t do any of this because we trained him. Train your dogs.

dottiedodah · 17/04/2021 09:25

My dog only has to bark once and shes in! Very mindful of NDN with young DC who may be woken from naps etc .

Operasinger · 17/04/2021 09:26

@Bigballer

People are crazy!

Dogs bark and dogs are outside pets so people just have to live with it. I would imagine most dogs are left alone all day whilst their owners are at work. OPs neighbor is just lucky the dogs are not normally there.

WTAF?

Firstly, dogs don’t have to bark. You train them no to.

Secondly, they are not outside pets.

Thirdly, dogs should not be left all day.

I think that covers everything.

MadeOfStarStuff · 17/04/2021 09:27

YABU

Your dogs sound very badly behaved and poorly trained if you can’t even call them in from your garden without a big chase round. And if they bark if outside unattended then they shouldn’t be outside unattended. And YABVU for suggesting the neighbours should have taken their well behaved dog inside because of your badly behaved one!

DenisetheMenace · 17/04/2021 09:27

“and dogs are outside pets ....”

Are they?

Chathamhouserules · 17/04/2021 09:28

Sounds like it was a one off and with hindsight, yes you could have stopped the meeting or handed note taking to someone else, butyou didnt think of that at the time. Just apologise again and say it wont happen again, you were just a bit panicked about the meeting.

WorraLiberty · 17/04/2021 09:28

I own two dogs and I hate the sound of barking, so I can imagine how your poor neighbour felt.

This problem was caused by your dogs, your husband and your meetings.

The two of you owe him an apology.

swiftt · 17/04/2021 09:29

Oh for god sake. It was clearly a one off. The posts on here saying you shouldn’t have dogs are just unnecessarily cruel. Don’t beat yourself up OP, what’s done is done. You’ve apologised to the neighbours, and if you’re ever in this situation again then you’ll know not to leave them unsupervised in the garden if you’re working. Simple. People on here are far too quick to make judgments and assumptions sometimes.

Lockheart · 17/04/2021 09:30

Fucking hell, this thread.

Dogs barking are annoying, we can all agree.

OP was caught in a tricky situation not of her own making.

OP apologised.

Talk about a total non-incident.

OPs sarcastic replies are spot on IMO. MN doesn't know how to compute when, having totally overreacted, the OP overreacts right back at them!

Candlestand · 17/04/2021 09:30

I'll get rid of the dogs. It's the only way. People are right.

OP posts:
BorisandHarriet · 17/04/2021 09:30

@Candlestand

But I've done it all wrong haven't I. We liked having the space with the new bigger garden and it was fun chasing them around. I didn't think it was a problem but clearly it is. They don't bark when told not to so when I was in the garden with them they didn't bark but I can't be in the garden with them so instead I left them there thinking it wasn't a big deal but here we are. Literally over 100 people can see clearly how selfish and wrong I was and I didn't see it. I was angry at first because I know I handled things badly with the neighbours but actually what people are saying is that I can't actually look after these dogs and I've been inexcusably terrible to me neighbours and they're right. Our set up clearly doesn't work well if when it goes wrong I can cause such distress to people
As @Vickles20 said, just go round today, say yesterday was a nightmare and you’re sorry it happened etc. My dogs are often allowed “free flow” in and out of garden with door left open so they can choose. So far we’ve been lucky and haven’t had this situation but I can see how it happens. It’s just your reaction that’s the issue, but that’s easily rectified.
EmbarrassingAdmissions · 17/04/2021 09:31

We had dogs barking from our neighbours all day, every day. I've had workmen walk out from our home because they couldn't take the noise.

As a one-off this is unfortunate and your neighbours sound inflexible. You know you handled this badly no matter how much you deflect onto your neighbours.

Lockheart · 17/04/2021 09:31

@DenisetheMenace

Candlestand

@Sirzy That's unfair. It wasn't at all that I couldn't be bothered, I could not leave that meeting. It's not a choice to work, I have to work and its not my choice to work from home.“

That neighbour, or others, may have been in important meetings too 🤷‍♀️ You should have excused yourself for 5 minutes.

Doubt it given that the neighbours are retired.
SummerWillow · 17/04/2021 09:34

OP your situation sounds similar to me! However, I never leave the dogs in the garden if I know I can't get them in during a meeting. If I'm on a call/video meeting, they have to stay indoors.

Luckily our neighbours on all sides have dogs and no one is bothered by barking - we do all make efforts though to stop them barking after a short time, no one's dogs are outside barking for more than a few minutes.

UntamedWisteria · 17/04/2021 09:34

When everyone is working from home at the moment, if course you can leave a meeting for a couple of minutes to sort out something urgent. Everyone has to do it occasionally.

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