To think the way I spend dla is ok?

[Opal93]

I do always keep in mind that it is to be spent in my sons interest. I do try to put some away for his future, but each payment does help us pay for his additional costs due to his disability (pull ups, appropriate toys, sensory equipment, for example weighted blanket or sensory toys), it goes towards general care of him too such as groceries and clothing, we used some of it towards fuel/car payments as this allows us to take him places he likes and to appointments, sometimes it has went towards replacing items he has broken due to his disability (TV). Most importantly, it buys me time with him, as it allows me to be a SAHM, and I think this benefits him most of all as I know him best and can manage his condition best. AIBU to think I am spending it ok? I do feel guilty sometimes that I haven’t saved a lot of it, although some is saved and that’s better than nothing!

@Blue4YOU

OP - unless you have a disabled child (I do), then no-one will understand what DLA is supposed to be used for. Essentially OP, it’s for all the things your family needs to do for that child (not work (in my case), buy clothes, games, equipment, days out, taxis, FUN!). Don’t ask an Internet forum where most people don’t understand what it is like to have a child that requires DLA (for your sake)

THIS imo.

I have been told by the DWP that the purpose of DLA is not to save it but to use it for your child's ongoing needs, (which includes you being available to them in hours you might otherwise have to work).

"if you're getting enough to save some, you're getting too much IMO."

People who think like this have something lacking in them IMO.

Yanbu op, the dla is benefiting your child in some way . That’s what it’s for not to be saved it’s to help them , I also receive dla for my child and spend it a similar way . I did consider saving it but savings get accounted for with universal credit etc

DLA doesn't touch the cost of having a child with a disability when you factor in having to leave work/go part time/take a different job that allows you to take your child to multiple appointments. Then the cost of taking your child to those appointments (aside from missing work) travel, parking, meals etc. And all the rest - the stuff like days out, special clothing and toys, equipment, maybe classes like Makaton or BSL. You might not be spending the DLA on exactly the same things every month, but rest assured you will spend it in the support of your disabled child.

@LindaEllen

The way I see it, you shouldn't be saving it anyway. It's supposed to be a payment to support the daily living of your child, and if you're getting enough to save some, you're getting too much IMO.

Saving towards expensive item or carer on holiday is fine if you want to Don't bother saving for saving sake as will impact his adult benefits if more than x amount in future

I have CP and have an ongoing award of PIP Some now pays for my lovely dog Walker to give my gorgeous Westie a daily run which I'm unable to do
He enriches my life immeasurably, and is my companion and hobby
DLA/ PIP is awarded to bring life up to the standard of any other citizen
You're using it exactly for the intended purpose
I hope no one has called it " free money".. because living with a disability is certainly not a privilege

@LindaEllen
The way I see it, you shouldn't be saving it anyway. It's supposed to be a payment to support the daily living of your child, and if you're getting enough to save some, you're getting too much IMO.

I work full time and get PIP. Should I not get it because I work (and earn a good wage ?).

@ThatchersCold

I spend my dd’s on keeping her pony - horses are her special interest and she finds it so soothing to be around them. It gets her out of the house doing physical exercise and it’s great for her strength and coordination. I’m sure many people would be sniffy about this but oh well.

Equine therapy is an actual thing though, isn't it? By that, I mean therapy involving equines, not therapy for them.

@LindaEllen

The way I see it, you shouldn't be saving it anyway. It's supposed to be a payment to support the daily living of your child, and if you're getting enough to save some, you're getting too much IMO.

Just as well your opinion is irrelevant.

Imagine saying this to the parent of a disabled child

This is EXACTLY what the payments are for. You’re doing nothing wrong.

@frankienotbenny

We received DLA for my (now adult) son for many years. I never saved any of it, nor did I ring-fence it; it went into our normal family money. We did spend money on things connected to his additional needs, equipment, repairs to things he broke, activities etc. But the single biggest financial cost to our family by far was my loss of salary as it would have been completely impossible for me to return to my former profession given his needs. So I never felt guilty at all about the DLA.

This is absolutely the same thing we do........it goes in the pot.

It would obviously be wrong if you spent it all on designer handbags for yourself but it can be used to improve the life of the family! Holidays, days out, new furniture. Stop feeling guilty and checking every penny, you shouldn't really be saving it for the sake of it.

Each week without fail, something needs replaced or repaired. It can be something big like a TV or bed from constant bouncing, or minor things like bedding/clothing. But it does cost money and if I worked out every item I have had to replace it would probably be quite a lot!

also to run a car that we wouldn’t need if my child wasnt disabled

This. We need a bigger car than we would otherwise need, and need to keep it well maintained.

He would qualify for motability but then because I need a car for me too and that would not be in the tems of use we would need two cars.

It may come to thst because now hes an adult I had his SW saying that if he had a PA to take him places I would need to let them use my car!!

Well I save some and spend some.
But I’m currently saving for car that I NEED to get ds around. So yes, sometimes it makes sense to save it. I can’t buy a car using one month’s worth of DLA can I?

@Sleepyblueocean

"if you're getting enough to save some, you're getting too much IMO."

People who think like this have something lacking in them IMO.

Yes, sorry I posted too soon as I wanted to say something about this too. Although the DWP say it is not for saving but spending on current needs etc I am mindful that DLA is not means tested and can be claimed even by families who are also very wealthy (ie the Camerons)

Op you are doing fine. Fuck off to the other side of fuck to the poster who believes you are getting too much if you save some.

Spend or save your DLA how you like you know your child best and what they need.

It can be mentally and physically draining having a disabled child. My child is autistic, has challenging behaviour, learning disabilities, ADHD, PDA, sensory processing condition and the function on cognitive ability of a 3 year old without any danger awareness.

I spend my child's DLA mostly on things to save us time as family

@LindaEllen

The way I see it, you shouldn't be saving it anyway. It's supposed to be a payment to support the daily living of your child, and if you're getting enough to save some, you're getting too much IMO.

What?! You must be joking. You know you are talking about a mother of a child with a disability.

The way I see it, you shouldn't be saving it anyway. It's supposed to be a payment to support the daily living of your child, and if you're getting enough to save some, you're getting too much IMO.

Oh dear. I could actually afford to not claim the DLA for my son, but he is entitled to it.

I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks about that tbh 🤷🏼‍♀️ He gets it, I spend it on him.

I received DLA for my son for a couple of years as a toddler / preschooler. Another vote here for not having to feel anxious about justifying how you spend it!
We just used it as part of our daily living costs, to make it less painful for me to not work while he needed a lot of attention.
Agreed with PP who say it would be preferable to not have the money and have a child without whatever conditions make them qualify for DLA......

You seem to be using it appropriately.
My son's DLA gets spent on his food (sensory issues and never eats the same as us), petrol to get him to school (our two closest mainstream schools are notoriously bad for SEN kids which means to goes out of country), and pull ups.

Anything else then gets 'saved' for other things on a less than weekly basis such as trainers (he's always outside or active) and goes through a shocking amount of footwear, sensory stuff, batteries to replace to ones in toys to constantly has on the go etc.

As he gets older, it'll be spent on any groups, activities, hobbies he's interested in or towards holidays.

LindaEllen

The way I see it, you shouldn't be saving it anyway. It's supposed to be a payment to support the daily living of your child, and if you're getting enough to save some, you're getting too much IMO.
......
That doesn't seem very fair. The op doesn't say she saves a lot out of it.

Would you say that about any other Benefit? I admire people who manage on benefits and can save a bit.

Nothing wrong with having some 'rainy day' money.

I have two children on DLA. One receives £430 every 4 weeks, the other £238

£107 of each child's goes on their swimming lessons, because they need 1-1

Remaining £323 for child A

£20 towards our annual holiday so we can book one that meets her needs. She obviously benefits hugely from it and is only a tiny fraction of the cost but makes it workable.

£20 into her childhood ISA locked until she is 18

£75 towards paying off the car which I need for her mobility needs (she gets HRCLRM)

£30 on some of her really fiddly foods due to her AFRID

£50 on clothes due to her issues with clothes

£10 on short break activities

£40 on activities that she does with her respite carer

£75 on whatever she happens to need. Recently it was a £130 car harness, sensory orders, assessments and therapy sessions etc. Usually there is a shortfall

Child B of his remaining £131
£20 childhood ISA
The rest goes towards his £300 per 4 weeks childcare bill to try and support his development. Huge shortfall.

As long as it goes towards their needs then you spend it appropriately. For some families this is towards bills to reduce pressure on parents work wise to meet needs, for others it is activities. They all support their needs.

@frankienotbenny

We received DLA for my (now adult) son for many years. I never saved any of it, nor did I ring-fence it; it went into our normal family money. We did spend money on things connected to his additional needs, equipment, repairs to things he broke, activities etc. But the single biggest financial cost to our family by far was my loss of salary as it would have been completely impossible for me to return to my former profession given his needs. So I never felt guilty at all about the DLA.

Same

Spend it how you see fit, screw anyone else.

My partners PIP goes into the general pot and gets spent just like any other household income.