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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shall I make dinner for my next door neighbour?

144 replies

Kindly9090 · 15/04/2021 15:42

This seems a bit silly.. But I've been living in my home for nearly a year. I'm a single working parent to a toddler.
My next door neighbours are lovely, they have both changed jobs recently and taken substantial pay cuts from what I've been told. One of them goes away 3 weeks at a time and comes back at the weekend and the other works very long hours in the NHS.. I saw her coming home late last night and stopped for a chat outside the front door.. I said if she ever wanted any company to pop in whilst her wife was away, she said by the time she gets in she has to walk to dog, put a wash on, make dinner and do all the usual things and she often passes out on the sofa by 9pm..
Both of my neighbours have been so lovely since we moved in and I felt like I wanted to do something to help, would it be silly to cook her a lasagne and give it to her tomorrow night so she doesn't have to cook.. I felt bad for her but I know its a perfectly normal scenario for most people who work!
How would you feel if your neighbour made you dinner and popped it round? We bubbled up over lock down and they watched little one for me whilst I had to run a couple of urgent errands so we are friendly.
Am I being silly or over caring??

OP posts:
JohnLapsleyParlabane · 15/04/2021 15:43

If you're willing to make her a lasagna, why don't you portion it up so that she can have freezer meals saved?
It's a very kind idea I personally wouldn't do it unless I was absolutely sure of allergies etc

toffeebutterpopcorn · 15/04/2021 15:47

Thats nice! Maybe offer to walk the dog too (well I would but Im dog-mad).

Billythecandlestickmaker · 15/04/2021 15:47

Lovely idea, and dont want to sound negative, but prehaps she was just politely saying she doesn't want any company?

I love lasagne and would happily accept however...Grin

You sound very lovely op, and so thoughtful. I personally would be touched at the kindness, but it might have just been a polite way of saying "catch up isn't going to happen, I don't want to do that after a day at work"

Billythecandlestickmaker · 15/04/2021 15:48

I think PP offer to walk the dog is a good one. That way neighbour has time time settle at home and get dinner started, and you're not intruding on anything?

I would give away one of my dogs to someone who offered to walk them right now Grin

Original poster
Kindly9090 · 15/04/2021 15:48

Also sounds silly but when it's recycling collection day I did see a Charlie Bingham lasagna packaging in their bag when I left for the day so I thought home made lasagna might be nice 🤣

OP posts:
Triffid1 · 15/04/2021 15:48

I think it's a lovely idea and would absolutely do this if you feel that she'd appreciate it. And the timing is perfect because you can say ,"I was thinking about our conversation and making lasagna for the rest of us so I thought I'd do you a portion too - I hope it helps" (and ideally, give her enough that she could freeze half if she wanted to.

It's not dinner, but we'll often give cakes/muffins to our neighbours if we've made some - especially over lockdown. And my elderly dad gets a regular supply of cake from his neighbours who have worked out he's got a sweet tooth but while he can and does cook, he doesn't bake. Our other neighbours gave us the key to their house while they were away and told us to help ourselves to their vegetable patch. I think it's all fine and lovely, especially if you have an existing friendly and kind relationship.

TheGriffle · 15/04/2021 15:49

That’s a lovely thought. I would be more inclined to offer to walk the dog though as I love dogs and don’t like cooking for other people as I never think my foods nice enough!

TokyoSushi · 15/04/2021 15:49

Yes that sounds lovely, I'd make the lasagne but make it clear that it didn't come with any expectations of taking up their time.

Original poster
Kindly9090 · 15/04/2021 15:51

Oh I was just being neighbourly when I said about popping in.. I knew she wouldn't. Just didn't want to impose but I know sometimes when you're on your own you don't go through the hassle of making a big home made dinner. I thought a nice lasagna on Friday so they could warm it up on Saturday and have when her wife is home for the weekend x

OP posts:
toffeebutterpopcorn · 15/04/2021 15:51

Re company - when my sisters neighbour died they told his wife that they were pretty late-to-bed-ers and that anytime the hall light was on, they'd be up so she could come over for a chat/sit/tea/gin/pat the dog. They left the hall light on 24/7 for her.

Shoxfordian · 15/04/2021 15:52

It sounds really kind of you

Frazzledbutcalm · 15/04/2021 15:52

I often portion up a meal for my lovely ndn, I have spare of what I’ve made for my family so share it across. She’s very appreciative. I take her scones, cake, cookies also.

She’s perfectly capable of making her own (and does on a daily basis), but it’s a nice treat for her when she doesn’t have to cook or gets a surprise sweet treat.

OP I wouldn’t make a big, several portion meal especially for her, but you could always take a 1 portion meal and say you had spare so wondered if she’d like it?

Original poster
Kindly9090 · 15/04/2021 15:52

@toffeebutterpopcorn that's so unbelievabley lovely 😍

OP posts:
JesusIsAnyNameFree · 15/04/2021 15:53

@toffeebutterpopcorn

Re company - when my sisters neighbour died they told his wife that they were pretty late-to-bed-ers and that anytime the hall light was on, they'd be up so she could come over for a chat/sit/tea/gin/pat the dog. They left the hall light on 24/7 for her.
Oh god, that made me tear up.
Amdone123 · 15/04/2021 15:54

I think it's a lovely idea, too. I would say to them I love cooking and got a tad carried away. Or something like that.
You're really kind.

StrawberrySquash · 15/04/2021 15:56

I drop her a text with 'I'm making lasagne. Do you fancy a portion? I can drop it over.' That way she can say no without the awkwardness of refusing a lasagne that's had work put into it. I've done similar with my neighbours when I've made a nice pudding.

toffeebutterpopcorn · 15/04/2021 15:57

[quote Kindly9090]@toffeebutterpopcorn that's so unbelievabley lovely 😍[/quote]
They are lovely...

Original poster
Kindly9090 · 15/04/2021 15:58

I think making a lasagna and sharing a portion might be an idea. I was going to make it tomorrow.. From what I can see she works 7 to 7 most days.. I can lean over and knock on her door from my door so it doesn't look like I'm asking her to come in or for her to think she has to invite me in 🤣

OP posts:
ShitOnIt00 · 15/04/2021 16:00

That’s really kind. We sometimes take a piece of cake or something to an elderly neighbour. He always seems to appreciate it.
I’m sure she will appreciate it.

Original poster
Kindly9090 · 15/04/2021 16:06

Sometimes I just think you're so lucky when you have lovely neighbours. When I lived with my ex we had utterly hideous neighbours.. Now I've moved here and neighbours either side are so lovely and caring and look out for us because they know I'm a single parent.

OP posts:
eatsleepread · 15/04/2021 16:06

I think you're totally lovely and thoughtful, OP Smile I have just made a lasagne and it really is a labour of love. I'd be delighted if someone saved me the effort by buying one! I don't like cheese though, so make it without. Weirdo

Tooshytoshine · 15/04/2021 16:07

This is a lovely thing to do. They sound good neighbours who have done you favours and this is a reciprocation of this.

eatsleepread · 15/04/2021 16:07

Gah sorry, making one, not buying!!

Original poster
Kindly9090 · 15/04/2021 16:09

❤️❤️
I love cooking but I'm on my own so I don't often make meals from scratch in the week as little one eats at nursery. I've bought all the stuff for lasagna so either way I'll be making one tomorrow 🤣

OP posts:
QueenOfCakeandCoffee · 15/04/2021 16:09

I think it’s very kind thing to do. I’ve made some really close friends by taking that step and being friendly... i’m a Londoner as well!