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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Shall I make dinner for my next door neighbour?

144 replies

Kindly9090 · 15/04/2021 15:42

This seems a bit silly.. But I've been living in my home for nearly a year. I'm a single working parent to a toddler.
My next door neighbours are lovely, they have both changed jobs recently and taken substantial pay cuts from what I've been told. One of them goes away 3 weeks at a time and comes back at the weekend and the other works very long hours in the NHS.. I saw her coming home late last night and stopped for a chat outside the front door.. I said if she ever wanted any company to pop in whilst her wife was away, she said by the time she gets in she has to walk to dog, put a wash on, make dinner and do all the usual things and she often passes out on the sofa by 9pm..
Both of my neighbours have been so lovely since we moved in and I felt like I wanted to do something to help, would it be silly to cook her a lasagne and give it to her tomorrow night so she doesn't have to cook.. I felt bad for her but I know its a perfectly normal scenario for most people who work!
How would you feel if your neighbour made you dinner and popped it round? We bubbled up over lock down and they watched little one for me whilst I had to run a couple of urgent errands so we are friendly.
Am I being silly or over caring??

OP posts:

greeneyedlulu · 15/04/2021 16:10

I think its a great idea, its nice to be nice.

Babygotblueyes · 15/04/2021 16:15

How lovely. I bet she will really appreciate it.

billy1966 · 15/04/2021 16:21

What a lovely gesture.

A freshly made lasagne is a delicious meal.

I make one every fortnight, leaving it sitting in the fridge ready for the oven for a busy day.

It only gets better if it sits in the fridge for a couple of days, just like a curry does IMO.

EmeraldShamrock · 15/04/2021 16:26

It is very kind and thoughtful.

HouseOfRunners · 15/04/2021 16:31

A neighbour did this for me recently and I wanted to cry with gratitude. It was a really shit time and their gesture made such a difference.
I think you’re very kind ❤️

WonkyCactus · 15/04/2021 16:32

Sorry to go against the grain but I think it's a bit weird. I'm sure she can manage to feed herself just fine.
You don't want her thinking she has to do something similar to "repay" you. I would feel obligated to return the gesture, might just be me though!

MyDcAreMarvel · 15/04/2021 16:37

@Kindly9090 making a lasagna is kind but you put her in an uncomfortable position inviting her in. As an nhs worker she isn’t going to be illegally meeting up indoors.

NKFell · 15/04/2021 16:38

I did this just on Monday, for the first time ever in my life. My neighbour lives alone and I had so much going spare I just popped it round.

I do hope she doesn't feel the need to repay me, she seemed very happy with it though and sometimes, just sometimes, surely we're allowed to be nice?!

Original poster

Kindly9090 · 15/04/2021 16:39

@wonkycactus nope, that's the whole point of posting to get different opinions :)
I get what you mean, but several times they've done things for us and they bought chocolate for Easter and Xmas for DD.. I've reciprocated by doing practical things for them like getting their deliveries to my address as I've been working remotely, or letting work men in when they've been at work.. I just wanted to do something nice for them as they are very hard working and thoughtful neighbours.

OP posts:

Original poster

Kindly9090 · 15/04/2021 16:41

@mydcaremarvel oh I understand. I was just being neighbourly more than anything.. I didn't expect her to say yes I'll come in right now this second, or ever 😁😁. I was just being nice.

OP posts:

someonelockthefridgealready · 15/04/2021 16:46

That sounds lovely. I would really appreciate it if you were my neighbour. Even if I didn't want it, I'd appreciate the gesture and the dog would be appreciative of the actual lasagna

duvetdreaming · 15/04/2021 16:49

I'd be horrified if a neighbour did that, I can look after meals and so on myself thank you would be how I'd feel.

HouseyHouse21 · 15/04/2021 16:51

Our old neighbours were always passing yummy meals over the fence, and it was always very much appreciated. They both had big families and were used to making big portions. We reciprocated with baking on the weekends when we could and they were so sweet about my attempts. I miss them terribly!

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 15/04/2021 16:52

@duvetdreaming

I'd be horrified if a neighbour did that, I can look after meals and so on myself thank you would be how I'd feel.

What if it was muffins and the neighbour had some spare? Horrified then too?

Original poster

Kindly9090 · 15/04/2021 16:56

@someonelockthefridgealready dog 🤣🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:

Lassy1945 · 15/04/2021 16:58

Lovely idea but no.

No idea of tastes, allergies or how they feel eating food prepared from essentially stranger ie you seem lovely but they don’t know about cleanliness of kitchen? They may only eat organic meat etc etc

I give them a marks voucher for £10 in a card, and suggest they treat themselves to the “dine in for a tenner”, which has a gorgeous range of food

Beseigedbykillersquirrels · 15/04/2021 16:58

How lovely! It's a very thoughtful thing to do for your neighbour and I think you're right that cooking for one, especially after a long shift, can be a chore. If she's already got dinner sorted she can pop it in the freezer for another time.

@toffeebutterpopcorn - I love your post! Such genuine kindness

duvetdreaming · 15/04/2021 16:59

What if it was muffins and the neighbour had some spare? Horrified then too?

Yep. Same response, I take care of my own requirements thanks.

Anybody who has spare muffins is clearly very strange. Like those people who cook with left over wine

Bakedbeanhead · 15/04/2021 17:00

OP you sound lovely. My NDN used to make me Shepherds Pie and do the odd bit of ironing for me when I was pregnant. She sadly died a couple of years ago, but I will never forget how kind she was. Gosh I am tearing up now thinking of her.
It’s lovely to think of others ❤️

Bluetrews25 · 15/04/2021 17:00

If she's working long hours and 'collapsing on the couch' when she gets in, a plate of something she could bang in the microwave would go down brilliantly, I know it does with me. From what you've said about them, I think your lovely neighbours would really appreciate this. Not everyone would take a caring gesture as an insult!
Kindly you are living up to your name.
Neighbour needs to get into batch cooking.....

Amelia666 · 15/04/2021 17:00

Do it op what a lovely person you are!

Lassy1945 · 15/04/2021 17:00

When I was ill neighbours cooked for me
I was so touched (to the point of tears).
But I binned.
I only like organic meat (couldn’t say that to them!) and I have no idea what their kitchen is like or how they cook (hardly knew them)
I felt dreadful but didn’t want to risk it

DazzlingHaze · 15/04/2021 17:01

@Kindly9090 I think it's a lovely idea, OP.
I'm sure she'd really appreciate an easy to heat up home cooked meal after a long shift.

@toffeebutterpopcorn That brought a tear to my eye! So heartwarming.

stylemeplease · 15/04/2021 17:02

Do it

World needs more of you xxxx

Original poster

Kindly9090 · 15/04/2021 17:02

For info.. My house.. Standards and hygiene levels are spotlessly clean 😁.

OP posts:

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