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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are these unreasonable works hours

61 replies

Notadisneyprincess · 14/04/2021 18:15

Dh is a shift worker, combination of earlies, lates and nights. Very much goes in for when his shift starts and leaves when it finishes. Unable to work from home due to nature of job and never worked in an office environment.

I work in an office based role, tho currently wfh since last year. Long term likely to be 2 days in the office 3 at home.

I work 8 hours a day, sometimes more depending on workload. Current routine is roughly:

Get up and get dd up and ready for school. Will log laptop on and open key documents before leaving for school drop off at 830.

Back home and online working for 9am

Work until about 12, take 15 - 30 minutes for some lunch depending if I am doing pick up for dd. May also put some washing on or empty the dishwasher.

If doing pick up will leave about 3pm for 315 pick up

Back one 330 ish and work until 5pm. Sometimes later if something needs finishing urgently

Stop as needed in the day for to get a drink/bathroom etc, but these are usually 5 minutes etc

Dh thinks this is unreasonable and I am working too much and that I should be able to stop for 10 minutes here and there. Mainly to have a chat with him, watch something on TV with him etc.

During the home school phase as well i was doing the majority of schooling so would occasionally work after dd had gone to bed to catch up. Work had agreed this and luckily they are an understanding employer as I appreciate i was lucky here.

I really don't think my day is unreasonable, but just wondering what other people think

OP posts:
GoldSlipper · 14/04/2021 18:21

If your partner is home could he not do the school run? This would allow you to take a 1 hour lunch with him - spend a little bit of quality time together?

When I was WFH I adjusted my lunch so I could take it with DH who was also WFH.

That aside - your work day sounds normal.

Overthebow · 14/04/2021 18:23

No that sounds quite short hours for a work day. You are actually doing only 7 hours a day with school pick up and lunch.

Youdontknowwhatyouronabout · 14/04/2021 18:25

He can’t expect you to interrupt your working hours to watch TV with him!
Your day being unreasonable or not depends on how many hours you are being paid for but having 30 mins for school pick up surely means you can’t take extra breaks to watch tv?

QueenPaw · 14/04/2021 18:26

Sounds fairly normal
I work 9am - 6pm or 8am -5pm with 2 x 15 min breaks and a 30 min lunch

Thehop · 14/04/2021 18:27

Sounds great to me!

CastleCrasher · 14/04/2021 18:28

You're only doing 7 hours, not 8 as you say, so presumably not actually doing your contracted hours as it is

FizzyPink · 14/04/2021 18:29

That sounds like a pretty nice working day. I don’t think I’ve ever had an office job where the contracted hours are 9-5, always either until 5.30 or 6

Original poster
Notadisneyprincess · 14/04/2021 18:38

Sorry should probably add if DH is around he will do drop off or pick up, for example this morning as he is off he did drop off, however I did go for pick up as well as otherwise I wouldn't leave the house! (Only 1 of us actually went into the school ground tho, I popped into the shop to get some bits while he picked her up)

If he does drop off I start a bit earlier, or sometimes will work a bit later, but generally most of my team do 9-5 or 8-4.

My manager is more concerned about the work getting done than being online at set times which is why I move my hours around pick up and drop off etc.

On days that I don't do either school run, I do pop out for a walk just to get out. I ask DH to go with me, but he would rather sit and watch the TV, then moans that I don't spend the time with him so I try and alternate going for a walk or staying with him, but to me some fresh air is really important each day!

OP posts:
Umbivalent · 14/04/2021 18:40

Your hours sound perfectly reasonable. It's your DH that isn't.

Gizlotsmum · 14/04/2021 18:41

Sounds like you have it right to me and a flexible employer which is great :)

UserTwice · 14/04/2021 18:45

They actually sound like very short hours if you're doing both school runs. Pretty impressive to be logged off by 5pm and have had time to pop out as well.

MattyGroves · 14/04/2021 18:46

Your DH sounds totally self absorbed. I wouldn't try to convince him, just tell him, "afraid I need to work" don't engage in debate.

Keepingitreal14 · 14/04/2021 18:47

Your day sounds very much like mine. I’m WFH but drop daughter at school currently. Mine are also very flexible as long as the works getting done and I’m pretty much doing my hours.

Your husband is being unreasonable. You can’t go watch tv just because your WFH (unless it’s your lunch break of course but then I would say you need to find alternative school run care).

MrsFin · 14/04/2021 18:48

Don't forget you'd have frequent breaks in work. Chats by the photocopier or coffee machine etc. Participation in non work related gossip. Team building stuff.

I think you could take the odd 15 mins for a morning coffee with your DH.

Where I work, productivity has gone up since everyone started to wfh. There's a reason for that - people are not taking nearly enough breaks.
Work wouldn't have allowed it to continue when lockdown eases off if they thought we were all dossing at home with our DHs.

WeAllHaveWings · 14/04/2021 18:52

Sounds like your dh isn't taking your work seriously.

Tell him to go get a hobby while you are working (or do housework/diy/garden) if he is loney/bored, you are working not there to entertain him.

TheUndoingProject · 14/04/2021 18:58

If you’re logging off at five on the dot with time to do school runs/walks etc then imagine you have to be working very efficiently to get everything done. Of course you don’t have time to entertain him during the day!

Templetreebalm · 14/04/2021 18:58

@MattyGroves

Your DH sounds totally self absorbed. I wouldn't try to convince him, just tell him, "afraid I need to work" don't engage in debate.
Totally agree. I dont see my DH during the working day and some how he survives Hmm Your DH sounds really needy
CarelessSquid07A · 14/04/2021 19:03

We're working from home together.

We tend to make a cup of tea together twice a day, its only 5 mins but a quick chat. Then he only gets 30 mins for lunch whereas I can have an hour so I tend to try and make lunch for both of us so we can sit outside together if it's nice or a chat on the sofa for lunch.

I do sometimes do some work in the garden pr other chorea and such during lunch if I can't take it at the same time as him due to meetings etc.

Dobbyisahouseelf · 14/04/2021 19:08

Sounds like you have a very reasonable employer and are working basic office hours. What is your DH complaining about?

Chloemol · 14/04/2021 21:10

Why can’t your husband understand that wfh is no different to working in an office, you are working. If you went back to the office you wouldn’t be at home. All he has to do is pretend you are at the office

peak2021 · 14/04/2021 21:13

I think you should have a proper 30 minutes or longer for lunch. Other than that seems reasonable.

CommandoDog · 14/04/2021 21:20

@MrsFin

Don't forget you'd have frequent breaks in work. Chats by the photocopier or coffee machine etc. Participation in non work related gossip. Team building stuff.

I think you could take the odd 15 mins for a morning coffee with your DH.

Where I work, productivity has gone up since everyone started to wfh. There's a reason for that - people are not taking nearly enough breaks.
Work wouldn't have allowed it to continue when lockdown eases off if they thought we were all dossing at home with our DHs.

Those chats by the coffee machine with colleagues can be beneficial to your employer with in and across team building happening in an unstructured way - even when it's non work related gossip - unlike a chat with your dh.
allaboutthecrisps · 14/04/2021 21:22

does your DP take breaks to watch TV with people when he's at work?

Mellonsprite · 14/04/2021 23:42

If you’re supposed to work 7 hrs a day it’s sounds like you’re doing spot on those hours? That’s not particularly long in my opinion. It sounds like you’ve got a good set up with great flexibility.

Original poster
Notadisneyprincess · 15/04/2021 10:08

he's complaining that I don't move away from my computer enough and that I work in the room we have dedicated as an office (which has multiple screens set up in) rather than bringing the laptop into the living room and sitting with him.

I probably pop out to get a drink 5 - 6 times a day (i drink a lot of water) and toilet breaks etc, so I do get up and stretch and walk around.

Quite often he will pop in when I am on calls and expect me to be able to answer him when I am talking/presenting. He doesn't understand that when I am at work its no different to being in the office and if I was in a meeting at work I wouldn't be able to answer his messages on my phone.

I also have tried to explain that I have a really understanding employer and I would like WFH to continue so I don't want to be seen to be taking the mickey and not getting the work done!

He basically thinks I work too much. Should also point out that I am 32 weeks pregnant so I am trying to take things easier which is why getting out for a walk and some fresh air is important to me at the moment.

OP posts: