Are these unreasonable works hours

[Notadisneyprincess]

Dh is a shift worker, combination of earlies, lates and nights. Very much goes in for when his shift starts and leaves when it finishes. Unable to work from home due to nature of job and never worked in an office environment.

I work in an office based role, tho currently wfh since last year. Long term likely to be 2 days in the office 3 at home.

I work 8 hours a day, sometimes more depending on workload. Current routine is roughly:

Get up and get dd up and ready for school. Will log laptop on and open key documents before leaving for school drop off at 830.

Back home and online working for 9am

Work until about 12, take 15 - 30 minutes for some lunch depending if I am doing pick up for dd. May also put some washing on or empty the dishwasher.

If doing pick up will leave about 3pm for 315 pick up

Back one 330 ish and work until 5pm. Sometimes later if something needs finishing urgently

Stop as needed in the day for to get a drink/bathroom etc, but these are usually 5 minutes etc

Dh thinks this is unreasonable and I am working too much and that I should be able to stop for 10 minutes here and there. Mainly to have a chat with him, watch something on TV with him etc.

During the home school phase as well i was doing the majority of schooling so would occasionally work after dd had gone to bed to catch up. Work had agreed this and luckily they are an understanding employer as I appreciate i was lucky here.

I really don't think my day is unreasonable, but just wondering what other people think

Sounds like a very easy working day to me.

I should add that he sounds a lot like my 8 year old in terms of not understanding appropriate boundaries and adult responsibilities. She interrupts my meetings wanting a chat or a snack. But again, she's 8!

Being as generous as I can - is this really about the pregnancy? Is he being a bit precious/overprotective about what you 'should' be doing currently? Some men are really (often annoyingly) overanxious about pregnant women and think they should be treated as glass.

Tbh, though, this does sound more like it's about him being a bit needy and clingy - and also perhaps not really understanding that WFH, or perhaps office jobs in general, are actually work. I've known a few people who work in more manual/physical/frontline jobs who genuinely believe that having an office job means you sit around drinking coffee, chatting and maybe doing some light typing all day, punctuated only with a pointless meeting that you can just stare into space during (to judge from some MN threads there also seem to be some SAHMs who think this too - there are always lots of comments that DHs who work in office just get to sit down and drink coffee!). If he's one of these (annoying) types that might explain why he thinks you'd be able to just chat to him whenever and sit with your laptop in the living room just sending the odd email while watching the tv.

I thought you were going to say that someone thinks you work too little. It’s not too much, no.

Agree with the PP who said your husband understands your job perfectly well, he just doesn’t respect it.

I don’t have lunch or take breaks with my DP while we’re both working from home, we’d be in each other’s hair. It’s hard enough come the evening when there’s nothing of the day to talk about: how was your day, dear? Same as yours, we were home working all day, same as since the first lockdown.

@Notadisneyprincess

Dh is a shift worker, combination of earlies, lates and nights. Very much goes in for when his shift starts and leaves when it finishes. Unable to work from home due to nature of job and never worked in an office environment.

I work in an office based role, tho currently wfh since last year. Long term likely to be 2 days in the office 3 at home.

I work 8 hours a day, sometimes more depending on workload. Current routine is roughly:

Get up and get dd up and ready for school. Will log laptop on and open key documents before leaving for school drop off at 830.

Back home and online working for 9am

Work until about 12, take 15 - 30 minutes for some lunch depending if I am doing pick up for dd. May also put some washing on or empty the dishwasher.

If doing pick up will leave about 3pm for 315 pick up

Back one 330 ish and work until 5pm. Sometimes later if something needs finishing urgently

Stop as needed in the day for to get a drink/bathroom etc, but these are usually 5 minutes etc

Dh thinks this is unreasonable and I am working too much and that I should be able to stop for 10 minutes here and there. Mainly to have a chat with him, watch something on TV with him etc.

During the home school phase as well i was doing the majority of schooling so would occasionally work after dd had gone to bed to catch up. Work had agreed this and luckily they are an understanding employer as I appreciate i was lucky here.

I really don't think my day is unreasonable, but just wondering what other people think

You’re actually only working 7 hours a day going off these timings; how many hours are you paid to do?

I think your hours are perfectly reasonable, maybe on the light side but if you are getting your work done and they are happy with your performance its all good. He is being a bit ridiculous - could he stop in the middle of his shift for 15 minutes of tv?

I work at home as does my DH and we barely speak all day beyond offering each other a brew and occasionally having lunch together

Sounds like a short day to be honest. Your husband is being massively unreasonable. It's actually really shocking that an adult would tell their partner that they should watch tv with them during work hours.

@MrsFin

I think in some places and some roles, yeah, but in many roles you barely get a chance to pee between meetings let alone standing around gossiping.

@CastleCrasher

You're only doing 7 hours, not 8 as you say, so presumably not actually doing your contracted hours as it is

She's possibly on a salary rather than hours contract. I work for myself now but in all my previous office jobs I had an annual salary with a weekly shift pattern and often if the agreed work got done there was more flexibility about start and end times, or taking an hour lunch rather than 30 mins etc.

And the lunch break was included in the weekly hours not outside it. So if my ten-hour shift was 8am-6pm for four days a week - that's a 40-hour week. But I was allowed an hour lunch break each day, plus everyone took 1-2 10-minute coffee breaks.

Some people really don't get the concept of WFH they think you can just please yourself.

he's complaining that I don't move away from my computer enough and that I work in the room we have dedicated as an office (which has multiple screens set up in) rather than bringing the laptop into the living room and sitting with him.

Maybe I've been on MN too long but it just sounds to me like he's undermining you quite deliberately. Why on earth would you work in the living room with him? You're at work. He can butt out.