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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What age did you leave your baby for the first time overnight?

112 replies

rozm2400 · 13/04/2021 21:53

My daughter is currently 14 Months and after a very tricky pregnancy, we have both been very attached. She was born early, after my water breaking at 31 weeks and having to have injections to help her lungs grow. I think that’s part of my fear now with separation. She’s 14 months and barely left my site, the odd 2-4 hours here and there with her dad should I have needed to do urgent work. She will go to my mum but only in small spouts and is very clingy to me and the home. She likes very familiar things and regular breastfeeding, how ever at this point, she’s eating full meals and it’s just comfort. It’s my sisters hen do in August and it’s a two night stay which I’m dreading. Baby still feeds several times through the night and finds it very difficult to be away. I also have major anxiety about been gone for more than a few hours. I guess my question is, what age did you leave your little one for a two night break and am I making the right decision? I don’t feel I can get out of hen do but also don’t feel ready to leave her!

OP posts:
fluffythedragonslayer · 14/04/2021 08:47

My mum had my son for the weekend aged 8 months so DH and i could go away for my birthday.

StevieG55 · 14/04/2021 10:11

My first I left at 1yr old. I cld have left her earlier in the sense that she slept through the night etc. I still thought she was too young before this. She only stayed out twice before her 2nd birthday.

My current 16 month old does not sleep through the night (maybe once a week). She wakes a few times and will only settle with me, goes mental if her dad tries to cuddle her. She usually has one bad night a week where she's up for a few hrs. We wld really want a night off. My mum watches her for a full day while I'm working but she's not keen on taking her overnight yet incase she's up all night lol.

Wld she not be alright with her dad? 2 nights I'd be uncomfortable with in ur situation. Any chance u cld stay 1 night.

BrilliantBetty · 14/04/2021 13:57

It’s my sisters hen do in August and it’s a two night stay which I’m dreading.

I know the feeling. It's awkward declining events due to not wanting to leave the DC. People (without kids or who parent in a different way) are generally not very understanding. I have found, anyway.

But it is a choice at the end of the day. You don't have to leave baby to go on a hen. I know it's easier said than done when it's your sis

scully29 · 14/04/2021 14:02

Ive not left mine yet, age 7 and 5, why would I. I took my eldest to my sisters hen do and went to bed early. Dont do it if your not comfortable with it, thats fine. Do part of the hen do that works for you.

DelBocaVista · 14/04/2021 14:14

@scully29

Ive not left mine yet, age 7 and 5, why would I. I took my eldest to my sisters hen do and went to bed early. Dont do it if your not comfortable with it, thats fine. Do part of the hen do that works for you.
I would have been so pissed off if someone brought a child to my hen do!

If you don't want to leave your child then that's your choice but I don't think it's fair to take children to a hen do unless they're specifically invited.

BlueLobelia · 14/04/2021 14:30

12 year old and 10 year old. They have never been left over night without one of us there!

But my ILs are dead, my parents are abroad and neither of us have extended family who have even babysat for a single hour.

Disastermagnet27 · 14/04/2021 14:33

Luckily both DS were happy to take a bottle. I think DS1 was about 18 months when I left him with his dad and went away for a weekend. When DS2 was born he stayed with my mum but that was not even a day. He was almost 3 at that point. We left at midnight and we arrived home with DS2 by 6pm that day!! DS1 is now 9 and has only been on a few sleep overs with friends since.
DS2 is 6 and I've left him with his dad and brother for a weekend when he was about 15 months. He was happy with a bottle too but did bf in the evening. When I got back he bf once and then didn't want to again!
I was happy to go as I knew my Dh was with them and my mum when DS2 arrived. I'm not sure I would have been happy had it been anyone other than Dh or my parents really.

PIL had DS1 for the day when we went to a wedding when he was 22 months and my db had both boys for the same reason when they were about 4 and 7.
PIL wouldn't be comfortable having them all night as they struggle with movement.

BlueLobelia · 14/04/2021 14:34

Oh i see you meant even leaving them with your DH, but without you.

With my 12 year old I think when he was about 9 months old, I had a work trip to Nairobi for 7 days and 'left' him with DH. It was fucking awful.

I quit that job for something UK-based on the strength of it.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/04/2021 14:39

@scully29

Ive not left mine yet, age 7 and 5, why would I. I took my eldest to my sisters hen do and went to bed early. Dont do it if your not comfortable with it, thats fine. Do part of the hen do that works for you.
Because some people like to have fun or do work that can't be done with a child in tow?
2bazookas · 14/04/2021 14:53

6 months. Baby and his granny had a lovely time .

LST · 14/04/2021 18:02

@scully29

Ive not left mine yet, age 7 and 5, why would I. I took my eldest to my sisters hen do and went to bed early. Dont do it if your not comfortable with it, thats fine. Do part of the hen do that works for you.
Because people want to? Because the children enjoy stopping out? Many many reasons.
Stompythedinosaur · 14/04/2021 18:30

I left dd1 overnight when I was having dd2 and she was about 18 months. I didn't leave dd2 until she was around 3 I think.

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