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Original poster

What age did you leave your baby for the first time overnight?

112 replies

rozm2400 · 13/04/2021 21:53

My daughter is currently 14 Months and after a very tricky pregnancy, we have both been very attached. She was born early, after my water breaking at 31 weeks and having to have injections to help her lungs grow. I think that’s part of my fear now with separation. She’s 14 months and barely left my site, the odd 2-4 hours here and there with her dad should I have needed to do urgent work. She will go to my mum but only in small spouts and is very clingy to me and the home. She likes very familiar things and regular breastfeeding, how ever at this point, she’s eating full meals and it’s just comfort. It’s my sisters hen do in August and it’s a two night stay which I’m dreading. Baby still feeds several times through the night and finds it very difficult to be away. I also have major anxiety about been gone for more than a few hours. I guess my question is, what age did you leave your little one for a two night break and am I making the right decision? I don’t feel I can get out of hen do but also don’t feel ready to leave her!

OP posts:
pollylocketpickedapocket · 14/04/2021 01:48

I left my dd overnight at 2.3 years old, I went to Paris for a concert and was back in 24 hours. She’s 5 now and I’ve not been away since, I would but only overnight, I’d miss her for longer than that, even though she drives me crazy!

SleepingStandingUp · 14/04/2021 01:56

You could mention to your sister about how she's feel about you bringing baby as she's still bf etc, I think I'd prefer that than you spending the whole time back and forth to a different accomodation and the rest of the time texting DH.

HOWEVER as a seperate point I do think you should work up to Dad doing longer spots without you. What happens if there's an emergency and you can't be with her? Is he actually competent to care for her? Does he know her routine? Can he out her down to sleep (obv harder if you bf to sleep but does he know the rest of the routine? I really think both parents need time to bond 121 with their kids

Nat6999 · 14/04/2021 02:08

Ds was 2.5 when he stayed at MIL, it was an emergency, exh was admitted to hospital & I was so stressed I couldn't stop throwing up. He only stayed one night & until I fetched exh home after his angioplasty next morning.

Chickenlickeninthepot · 14/04/2021 06:42

10mo as we went to a wedding.

Tbh after a year in lockdown I'd give both of mine to the childcatcher to get a night off.

Thehop · 14/04/2021 06:50

When they ask to sleep out. My youngest is 4 and hasn’t yet.

I absolutely hate the idea. But moaned about them coming on honeymoon with us a few times 😂

lockdownbreakdown · 14/04/2021 06:56

Without me was 8 months. Without both of us , never done it and cant see it happening until school trips yo be honest. Just not comfortable.

GreenLeafTurnip · 14/04/2021 07:00

My little one was born at 35 weeks and I had steroid injections for his lung development as well. We were also very attached after he was born, it's totally normal when they're early. However, he's now 2 years and 3 months and I still haven't left him for a night. Not sure I will for a while yet!

ThornAmongstRoses · 14/04/2021 07:02

When my first son was 2.5 years old my DH took him abroad for 6 nights. I found that really hard but because I knew he was with his dad I coped.

The first time he had a sleepover at someone else’s house was when he was about 3.5 years old and I found that hard. Not that I didn’t trust the grandparents, but just because it was the first time our son wasn’t with either me or my husband overnight.

After that first time the sleepovers got more frequent to maybe happening once a month and I was fine.

About two years ago me and my DH went to Paris for two nights and left our children with the grandparents. My eldest son was coming up to 5 years old and my youngest was just over 2 and although I worried about them dreadfully they were of course absolutely fine.

The most important question though is not what did we all do ....it’s what do you want to do?

Megan2018 · 14/04/2021 07:02

DD is 19 months and hasn’t been left, I’m definitely not ready. She doesn’t BF at night now but she does before bed and on waking so it’s a No to overnights from me until she’s weaned (she goes to nursery all day without issues).

Csx99 · 14/04/2021 07:04

A couple of weeks old, I had bad PND and PTSD from labour and an extremely colic/reflux baby. My mom having him overnight was the best thing for my mental health Smile he's 9 months old and haven't left him since he was about 2 months old though, oddly I feel more anxious now.

WaitingForNormality · 14/04/2021 07:08

6 months

Saracen · 14/04/2021 07:10

You have to go with what feels right to you. It's normal to have a deep attachment to your child. Your sister's hen do is also important. I would start planning now how your partner and child can stay nearby so you can meet everyone's needs.

My first child first stayed with grandma overnight just before her fourth birthday - we were quite near and she knew she could come home if she wanted, but she had a great time. Then at 5.5 she spent two weeks home with dad while I went abroad to be with my mum who was dangerously ill - that was hard but was the best solution in the situation.

My second child is disabled so it didn't feel right until later - maybe 6yo if I remember right? That was with an auntie up the road so she knew she could come home if she needed me.

Morgan12 · 14/04/2021 07:16

DS1 6 weeks
DS2 3 weeks

Both for 1 night

Anycrispsleft · 14/04/2021 07:26

If I was you I would want her dad to be doing bedtime on his own a couple of times a week, and also getting up with her if she wakes in the night. I think if she manages OK with that, it should be fine. 12-18m is quite a clingy time IIRC.

Do you want to go to the hen weekend? Or is it more you feel obliged to?

Dustyhedge · 14/04/2021 07:42

If it’s dad looking after her then I see that as quite different to leaving with grandparents etc and it would barely register for me. I do think it would be helpful to build up to it though with you having some evenings out first or some time if a weekend when you leave and get a haircut etc. Otherwise going from nothing to 2 days will be a lot.

My 2yo has never been away from me or her dad at night because of lockdown. We’d want to build her up by having grandparents looking after her here for the odd night first before staying at theirs for a bit longer when she’s older. My older one loves having time away but that has been curtailed. You have to do what suits your children and your family though.

DelBocaVista · 14/04/2021 07:49

I don't see leaving DS with DH as actually leaving him so can't quite remember the first time I did that but it was probably when he was a few months old.
We started having city breaks abroad when DS was one and that usually involves him staying with my in laws for 3 nights.

LST · 14/04/2021 07:53

DS1 about 8 weeks with dps mum and dad

DS2 probably nearly 1 (he was an awful sleeper) with my mum and dad.

They are 9 and 7 now and stop out once a week at their gps

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 14/04/2021 08:16

Not until school age for odd night for work. Know that’s rare though but worked for us.

Fatladyslim · 14/04/2021 08:23

My ds stayed at my parents house for one night at 7 months as we were moving and I needed to get everything loaded on the van.

Have planned a couple of others but they have fallen through 🙈

kowari · 14/04/2021 08:23

Left for two nights at 3 and a half.

SavingsQuestions · 14/04/2021 08:28

Hang on we get to leave our babies overnight!? I wasn't told that one... (13 and 9 and eldest has done bronwie/guide camp but not same time as youngest!)

AlwaysLatte · 14/04/2021 08:37

They were about 8 and 6 when I did for the first time. Second time was when I had an op and they were 9 and 7. But I didn't have to work away from home and any trips away are always as a family.

Thislittlefinger123 · 14/04/2021 08:39

I've not yet, eldest is 10 Grin

Thislittlefinger123 · 14/04/2021 08:40

Only do what you feel comfortable with OP. There are no rules, it's your decision. I wouldn't have done 2 nights away at that age (and mine have no health concerns).

TheKeatingFive · 14/04/2021 08:43

18 months, 1 night away, he was with his grandparents. God it was bliss!