What age did you leave your baby for the first time overnight?

[rozm2400]

My daughter is currently 14 Months and after a very tricky pregnancy, we have both been very attached. She was born early, after my water breaking at 31 weeks and having to have injections to help her lungs grow. I think that’s part of my fear now with separation. She’s 14 months and barely left my site, the odd 2-4 hours here and there with her dad should I have needed to do urgent work. She will go to my mum but only in small spouts and is very clingy to me and the home. She likes very familiar things and regular breastfeeding, how ever at this point, she’s eating full meals and it’s just comfort. It’s my sisters hen do in August and it’s a two night stay which I’m dreading. Baby still feeds several times through the night and finds it very difficult to be away. I also have major anxiety about been gone for more than a few hours. I guess my question is, what age did you leave your little one for a two night break and am I making the right decision? I don’t feel I can get out of hen do but also don’t feel ready to leave her!

I agree with the PP who said go at your own pace.

DS1 - he was about a month old and left him with my mum as DH and I had tickets for a comedian. DS had spent the his first 2/3 weeks in NICU as he was premature (comedian was meant to be before he was born) so I suppose we'd actually left him much earlier as I was discharged from hospital long before he was.

DS2 - also just over a month as we had our friend's 30th to attend. Boys stayed with in-laws.

DS was 18 months when I was in hospital to have his brother - the next time I was away from him he was 8 and off to Beavers camp ! He had a great time , done the odd sleep over since and school trips but not regularly

Do what’s right for you and your family

Left her with DH overnight in our own home at about 19/20 months

Left with MIL in MIL’s house around 2.5 years

My first was over a year old, possibly 18 months or so. I didn’t sleep a wink and was on my mums doorstep bang on pick up time the next day!

Have a 3 week old who refuses to sleep between midnight and 6am and would happily pass him to mum overnight now 🙈 desperate to sleeeeeeep

6 weeks for one night, 14 weeks (ish!) for 4 nights, and 1 year for a week plus sleepovers at GPs.

DH and I went on a night out, long weekend abroad (short haul) and a week’s holiday long haul.

My DTs have never been particularly clingy, and barely noticed we’d gone away for the week 😂 I try to not feel upset that they’re not remotely bothered about my leaving them.

They’ve always been left with family who dote on them, so have tons of fun which may be why they’re shutting the door on us.

2.5 years with my first. Didn't want to leave her overnight, just didn't feel comfortable with it or want to.

Second is 15 months and never been left. I probably would if I needed to. But there's nothing to really leave her for atm.

DD1 was 3 when I left her to go into hospital to have her sister. DD1 and DD2 were 10 and 7 when I left them to have DS. And 6 years later I left them all for a night when I went away for work. They all breast feed well into toddlerhood and leaving them overnight was not something I wanted to do.

The only other time I left them overnight was a period of weeks when I stayed with DD1 in hospital and left the other 2 with DH.

I work full time in a demanding job, so they are used to me not being always available. But I am always at home overnight. They have all had lots of sleepovers, school trips and spent time away from home from about age 7/8 themselves. It’s just I’ve not had the desire to leave them overnight myself. Nor has DH (we have discussed it, this is not a stance I’ve forced upon him).

It’s our silver wedding anniversary this summer, and covid permitting, DH and I might take a long weekend away and leave DD1 in charge.

It would not be everyone’s choice to have done this. But it has been ours. It’s worked for us as a family. I’m telling you this just to illustrate there is no one right answer. Really, what matters is to do what you are comfortable with. DH and I don’t regret our choices. You make the choice that is right for you. Really, a hen do is not that big a deal if you don’t want to go.

40 months and 80 months Family wedding meal, which the boys were invited to but which didn't start till 7:30...

I didn't have anything like hen dos to be invited to (it wasn't so much a thing in my age group) but I think I'd have been quite happy saying "I'm still nursing him to sleep" with a self-depracatory eye-roll.

Oh, yes obviously S1 was 40 months when I stayed in hospital overnight - I'd overlooked that because his dad went home.

At ten months, on a regular basis so I could go to work (night shifts, does that count?)

About 3 months with all of mine for 1 night and prob about 6-7 months for 2 nights. From age 2 for 4 or more nights and only with my mum.

7 or 8 years old. Mix of no one to have them and them not wanting to be left. I can only think of two times we have done it and they are 12 and 11 now.

My son has just turned three and I haven't left him overnight yet. He was exclusively breastfed for 12 months and has always been a rubbish sleeper so I haven't dared to leave him yet.

Thanks all! It’s not actually a going out hen do and we are just chilling in a log cabin. It was meant to be last year in which case I was going to take baby and have my own room to chill but I almost feel like now she’s older that isn’t acceptable. Love the idea of having baby and daddy close! Thanks for all of your kind words! I’m not one to enjoy being away from her so I think we need this to be as comfortable as possible!

My first was about 14 months as I had to work a night shift. She was at home with her father. My youngest is almost 18 months and I've never left her overnight

6 days old

6 months with my Mum for four nights while we went on a much needed break. I trust her completely and knew she was more than competent.

It's really personal choice. I went to a baby group and one Mum had had a weekend away in Italy when her baby was 3 months (he'd stayed with grandparents). About half the mums there were horrified and said they couldn't do that. The other half were really jealous and said they'd like to do that but hadn't had the chance!

It's only something you should do if you're comfortable with it. I'd be happy to, but that's my choice, not yours. In my case I've never had a night away from DD (she's now 5yo) but that's because there's nowhere for her to go overnight as no grandparents to have her and Godparents too far away.

My twins were 31 weekers too and so we had to leave them every night in the neonatal unit for 5 weeks, which was torture. However, I think that made me feel quite comfortable with leaving them when they were safely home, so we stayed away for a friends wedding for one night when they were 3 months old and have had the odd night away since. They're left with loving grandparents who know their routine and who care for them regularly, so know they're in safe hands.

If you feel comfortable with leaving them with people you trust, I say go for it!

At just over six months I had the opportunity for a night away with work, too far away to travel back easily. I was worried but it was great for everyone, even though I was pumping breast milk into the hotel
bathroom sink at 4am... I was pleased to be able to “get it over with” and just deal with my own emotions as it was a little early for Ds’s separation anxiety to kick in. I haven’t done it again due to Covid, but would relish the idea of a night away with a relaxed lazy morning. Doesn’t sound like a hen do would give you that though.

But there is no right time, it’s about how you feel. With a traumatic start I think it’s natural to not want to go.

Mine is 3 and I've only ever been away from her overnight twice and she was with DH both times. Once was one night away for a wedding and the other time was when she was in hospital for a night and DH stayed there with her as he's a HCP.

I'm assuming you can't leave her with her dad as you haven't mentioned it in your post? I didn't breastfeed after the first few months so I can't really comment on that. I know my DD still wouldn't be happy to be left overnight anywhere without me or DH, even though she's super close to my DM in particular. I think she would probably be ok if DM stayed at our house and put her to bed, but I'm not totally sure. She rarely wakes in the night but not sure how she'd react if she did and me or DH wasn't here to see to her.

At 9 weeks because she was having an operation. Kind of puts things in perspective.

My friend had all three of hers start their lives in incubators (I can’t remember if this is NICU/ SCBU or what the ward is called!) so she couldn’t be with them overnight when they were new born. They are all absolutely fine and very well bonded to her / her DH.

As is my Dd!

Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with / don’t want to do, but I’m just saying it won’t be a terrible thing to do.

8 weeks old. She went to my mum's for her first trip to Granny's. We happily had the night off. She's been there once a month since- well, until lockdown hit! Can't wait to start again.

She's 7 now. Has a great relationship with her grandparents and loves going there. We very much enjoyed a night off every month- or so I remember from the dim and distant past.... waaaaaah. I miss my nights off.

First DC - 3 years old when I was giving birth to her brother

Second DC is only 9 months but I know I won’t leave him overnight til he’s at least 2 (although he breastfeeds throughout the night and also I have nowhere to go)