AIBU to ask how many godparents your child has?

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

My DD1 has three godparents - my sister, DH’s older sister and DH’s best friend

My DD2 will be baptised when we can. DH’s family are devoutly Catholic and it means a lot to them. I’m atheist but see it as a lovely opportunity to get family together so don’t mind my DC being baptised.

Here’s the sticky bit. I am part of a group of four best friends and would like to ask them all to be DD2’s godparents but would that be too many? We’ve already asked DH’s brother, younger sister and one of my best friends (one of the group of four). If I ask the other two as well, that will be 5 godparents.

Friend A - I asked her to be a godparent because she’s the one I’m closest to from the group but it’s a close run thing.
Friend B - already has two godsons from a different friendship group
Friend C - currently lives in a different country but that won’t be forever.

Is 5 too many?

Oops! Didn’t mean to enable voting.

If it makes a difference, I don’t expect godparents to offer spiritual guidance to my DDs or anything. Just be there for them. They also wouldn’t be asked to be legal guardians or anything.

My DD has 6 Godparents (2 Godfathers + 4 Godmothers). There were a number of reasons for our decision. The vicar said it wasn't a problem

@GiveMeStrength2day

My DD has 6 Godparents (2 Godfathers + 4 Godmothers). There were a number of reasons for our decision. The vicar said it wasn't a problem

Thanks. I think any who aren’t baptised as Catholic are technically be witnesses but we don’t consider them any different.

Up to you how many you have, I enquired about baptism recently (catholic too) and the priest said at least one of the god parents has to be Catholic but the others can be any or non religious

Are your friends all Catholic. My ridiculous priest had an issue with non catholic godparents, part of the declaration is something about supporting the parents to bring up the children under the guidance of the Catholic Church.

Dts have one couple each as godparents, I didn't have my sister as she's their aunt, I didn't see the need to have her as a godparent as well.

My children have between 4 and 5. I’m C of E and our vicar insists godparents are baptised in a Christian denomination. We also only chose people who actually believed in god.

DH’s siblings are all Catholic.

When DD1 was baptised, there was no issue with her not being Catholic. Hopefully there won’t be this time.

One of my godchildren has about 5 other godparents and I personally think it’s completely bonkers. I’m not religious but if I did want godparents for my DC, I’d pick one or two. Having a whole gaggle of them feels like the parents are hedging their bets and the bond with the child isn’t quite the same if you’re one of several IMO.

I'm not sure about relatives being godparents - they already have a role in your child's life (auntie, uncle etc).

My DC both have 4 (the same ones). Both aunts, an uncle, and my best friend who is devoutly religious and can offer the DC the next spiritual guidance short of going to our actual vicar.
No one even questioned having 4, but these are all people who have the DCs best interests at heart.

None. I feel a bit sad about it really. I don’t have anyone close enough to ask.

None of my family or “friends” have ever asked me to be a god parent - everyone has more important people in their lives than me & DH. We are no ones best friend.

Eldest DS has 6
Youngest has 2 due to covid rules.
You can have as many as you want but with restrictions it's probably worth asking the church how many they would recommend.

None. I think it’s all nonsense personally.
But 5 is definitely excessive, what is actually the point of so many if they aren’t doing the things a godparent is for??
I also can’t see the point of existing family being godparents-if you are an aunt/uncle/cousin you already have a relationship with the child.
It’s all batshit tbh. DH had to suck up that I wanted no part of it all (his family are religious, I’m not).

I don’t want someone to offer spiritual guidance so don’t care if they’re not religious.

The aunts and uncles issue is too late. We’ve asked them all or they are already DD1’s godparent. They’re who we wanted.

My DS (also Catholic) has two Godparents - one of my best friends and one of DH’s best friends. (Man and woman).

We didn’t choose family as they were already aunts and uncles, and aren’t that religious.

The friends we picked are practising Christians, and that was what was most crucial in our choice. I don’t see making a friend a Godparent as a “reward” for your friends - it should be based on religious conviction.

I’d have had up to four Godparents; any more seems like two many, but at our RC church we were advised two was the usual number, so that’s what we did.

3 godfathers and 2 godmothers here. My brother, his wife, DH's brother and the couple who used to live next door to us.

DD has four - three Godmothers and one Godfather. It wasn't particularly planned to be that split but they were the people we wanted.

Three is traditional (two godmothers and one godfather for a girl; two godfathers and one godmother for a boy) but that tradition isn't binding.

My sister and I had one godparent each.
My son has one godmother/one godfather (a couple).
My daughter has two godmothers (my two best friends) and one godfather (her brother, who is much older) so this was the traditional composition but more by accident than design.
You can have as many as you choose.

Some vicar/priests will want the godparents to be baptised themselves and sometimes confirmed as well (possibly in a particular denomination i.e. Catholic). Some don't looking to enforce this or even ask the question.

You are supposed to choose people who will be able to provide spiritual support and guidance. Very literally, this means a practising Christian. I interpreted this more broadly in terms that I chose people whose honour and integrity I admired, who would provide spiritual care in a wider sense. (Out of my 5, two were practising Christians, two were "nominal" Christians and one had no particular faith but is one of the kindest and most generous people I know). I know that there are some who would criticise me for that, which I understand, but I still feel that I chose the right people.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing

DH’s siblings are all Catholic.

When DD1 was baptised, there was no issue with her not being Catholic. Hopefully there won’t be this time.

I am also Godmother to a Catholic DC. I'm not Catholic (although was baptised CofE) but the 2 Godfathers were. My DD's Godparents, I think, do believe in God although one of the Godfathers hadn't been christened - none were asked to prove anything. Although I appreciate it will, perhaps, be different within the Catholic church [Just to add: I don't judge anyone who doesn't christen their child therefore don't expect to be judged that I have]

Dd has two godparents, as per usual..

However, gd has four, one man (not Catholic) and three women (one not Catholic, one Catholic but not confirmed in the church and me who is qualified with all the sacraments).

I was needed as otherwise baptism couldn’t go ahead. I would have been asked anyway but did get the bases covered.

Mine have 4 Godparents each, one must be Catholic (we live in UK).

DD1 - 4
DD2 - 5
DS - 4

DD1 and DS share a godparent, the others are very close friends. I don't think 5 is excessive if that's who you want. My 3 godchildren share 4 godparents, one has already dropped off the map.
Me and DB had 3 godparents each.

C of E

None, we're not religious so dc's haven't been baptised / christened

My friends dc's have 4 godparents each.

None, we're not religious and DC hasn't been christened/baptised. If that's something they want to do when they're older, that's fine.
We have lots of friends and family they can talk to (of different and of no faiths) if they want to obtain different viewpoints.