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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask how many godparents your child has?

64 replies

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 13/04/2021 09:45

My DD1 has three godparents - my sister, DH’s older sister and DH’s best friend

My DD2 will be baptised when we can. DH’s family are devoutly Catholic and it means a lot to them. I’m atheist but see it as a lovely opportunity to get family together so don’t mind my DC being baptised.

Here’s the sticky bit. I am part of a group of four best friends and would like to ask them all to be DD2’s godparents but would that be too many? We’ve already asked DH’s brother, younger sister and one of my best friends (one of the group of four). If I ask the other two as well, that will be 5 godparents.

Friend A - I asked her to be a godparent because she’s the one I’m closest to from the group but it’s a close run thing.
Friend B - already has two godsons from a different friendship group
Friend C - currently lives in a different country but that won’t be forever.

Is 5 too many?

OP posts:

NerrSnerr · 13/04/2021 10:27

You've said that you don't want someone to offer spiritual guidance but if your husband is a catholic what does he want? What's the point of being a god parent if you don't want them to do the 'god' thing?

ThePearSquare · 13/04/2021 10:29

My eldest daughter is baptised (Catholic) and we weren’t given a choice, we were only allowed 2.
I’m not sure why, maybe it was the rules of our church?
We were allowed a non-Catholic ‘witness’ and a Catholic Godparent. We chose SIL and my cousin.

ThePearSquare · 13/04/2021 10:31

Forgot to add that DD’s witness (Godparent but not officially in the eyes of our church) had to be baptised as a Christian.

NewYearmorestress · 13/04/2021 10:32

My DC has the traditional 3. 1 Catholic, 2 C of E. The vicar didn't mind, was more concerned about non- believing father of DC.

RevolvingPivot · 13/04/2021 10:33

Mine were christened together. 13 in total. 6 to 1 7 to other (7th was a teenager of one of the couples friends of husband)

Don't see any of them now and my kids are only 9/11

DanielRicciardosSmile · 13/04/2021 10:34

Zero.

Member984815 · 13/04/2021 10:37

Raised catholic here , mine have 2 each my own godfather was protestant not a problem as long as one godparent is catholic . At least in my parish . Have as many as you want just discuss with the priest beforehand

TheChosenTwo · 13/04/2021 10:37

None for ours, we aren’t religious and wouldn’t want them to be baptised.
My brother and sil have their dc baptised and each child has 5 godparents - none of whom they see anymore - I don’t really get the point of any of it to be honest

NickMarlow · 13/04/2021 10:37

Mine have 5 each. Dc1 has our siblings (2 couples and one single). Then we asked our best friends for dc2, they were already the ones who were closest to dc1 so we just asked them to keep doing what they were doing and made it official for the baby. 2 couples and 1 single again.
It was a lot, but we love being part of a big extended family and friendship group, and all of them have a meaningful role in the kids lives.

riotlady · 13/04/2021 10:39

4- my sister, my best friend and her husband, and DP’s best friend.

RaspberryCoulis · 13/04/2021 10:40

None. I haven't had any of mine baptised at all as we're not religious.

I am godmother to my hsuband's nephew - totally ridiculous as I had to stand in a church and promise to raise him as a good catholic even though i was brought up church of scotland and have no clue about these things.

chrisrobin · 13/04/2021 11:26

DS1 had three, a couple who were both friends and a single friend. DS2 has four, the same three as DS1 and the single friends new husband.

lanthanum · 13/04/2021 12:19

Are your friends the sort who will buy birthday/Christmas presents for their godchild and not the other? Bear in mind the imbalance if one child has one non-family godparent and the other has three.
(Although sometimes it works the other way - my sister's godfather would buy for me as well, but quite often she'd get something "religious" and I'd get a more regular present!)

You're not planning on a third child?

Hankunamatata · 13/04/2021 12:23

God parents are responsible for childs spiritual wellbeing. We have 2 - a relative and his wife. They are godparents for all our kids. If anything happens to us they are childrens legal guardians.

WaterBottle123 · 13/04/2021 12:39

None because DC not old enough to choose what religion they are yet.

Parky04 · 13/04/2021 12:47

None as we are not religious. DC haven't been christened.

drpet49 · 13/04/2021 12:48

5 is ridiculous. What is the point of that) It is just diluting the role of a Godparent. Would you have had 5 maid of honours?

3 max.

Original poster

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 13/04/2021 13:20

Thanks all for the responses. To answer some questions:

I don’t want them to offer spiritual guidance if DDs don’t want them to. There is plenty they could offer guidance on other than religion.

My DH describes himself as optimistically agnostic. He’s not convinced by religion but hopes there is something out there. Like me, he knows it would mean a lot to his parents and it’s a nice event for family. He and his three siblings are all baptised and confirmed.

I would like a third child but it’s not a given that it will happen.

I don’t see any of my godparents ever but I have who I consider honorary godparents instead. I would like my children to have someone like that.

OP posts:

thatwasme22 · 13/04/2021 17:17

''I’m not religious but if I did want godparents for my DC, I’d pick one or two. Having a whole gaggle of them feels like the parents are hedging their bets and the bond with the child isn’t quite the same if you’re one of several IMO.''

This, ime parents can do it in order to get inheritance/handouts or take advantage. My elderly [never married, lonely single and wealthy] neighbour is god father to all 6 kids in 1 family and they basically treat him like a back. He more or less funds their liufestyle and feels it is his duty as their godfather. He told me he is leaving all his wealth to the godchildren when I just think it's more fiancial abuse of a naive lonely person.

lioncitygirl · 13/04/2021 17:20

6 each.

RaspberryCoulis · 13/04/2021 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RolloTomassi · 13/04/2021 17:37

One has 5, the other has 4.

Only 2 (a male and a female) were named on the baptism cert for DC1 due to space. The priest squeezed all 4 names on the second time. But they all took part in the ceremony, which was very relaxed.

If you want 5 people, have them.

BlowDryRat · 13/04/2021 17:40

I don't agree with adults making religious promises on behalf of children too young to have a say.

Dobbyisahouseelf · 13/04/2021 17:42

I think tradionally it is normally three and for a girl two female and one male Godparent.

Depends what your priest allows as some are happy for a Godparent not be be christened/baptised. If your priest is happy with five Godparents go for it.

PurBal · 13/04/2021 17:49

churchofenglandchristenings.org/for-parents/choosing-godparents/

DS isn't here yet. We will probably have 3 but possibly 4 because I feel strongly at least 1 of them should be a Christian.

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