AIBU to ask how many godparents your child has?

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

My DD1 has three godparents - my sister, DH’s older sister and DH’s best friend

My DD2 will be baptised when we can. DH’s family are devoutly Catholic and it means a lot to them. I’m atheist but see it as a lovely opportunity to get family together so don’t mind my DC being baptised.

Here’s the sticky bit. I am part of a group of four best friends and would like to ask them all to be DD2’s godparents but would that be too many? We’ve already asked DH’s brother, younger sister and one of my best friends (one of the group of four). If I ask the other two as well, that will be 5 godparents.

Friend A - I asked her to be a godparent because she’s the one I’m closest to from the group but it’s a close run thing.
Friend B - already has two godsons from a different friendship group
Friend C - currently lives in a different country but that won’t be forever.

Is 5 too many?

I feel like past a certain point, that many gets a bit silly. Two or three is great IMO not all family friends and supports need to be godparents.

@thatwasme22

''I’m not religious but if I did want godparents for my DC, I’d pick one or two. Having a whole gaggle of them feels like the parents are hedging their bets and the bond with the child isn’t quite the same if you’re one of several IMO.''

This, ime parents can do it in order to get inheritance/handouts or take advantage. My elderly [never married, lonely single and wealthy] neighbour is god father to all 6 kids in 1 family and they basically treat him like a back. He more or less funds their liufestyle and feels it is his duty as their godfather. He told me he is leaving all his wealth to the godchildren when I just think it's more fiancial abuse of a naive lonely person.

How awful for him! I would never expect hand outs from godparents for my DDs.

Thank you everyone.

I was thinking that 5 was too many but my mum kept telling me it wasn’t. I think I’ll just stick with the original three.

We didn't have any. I wouldn't have friends because lives change, people move. I would only have family, but we had a welcoming ceremony, to appease our Catholic mums who believed if something happened to the child, they would end up in limbo floating around in an abyss forever.

A welcoming ceremony (CofE) seemed fitting as if dd did become religious she has already been 'welcomed' into the church in a way.

Have 4 siblings and dh has 2 so to pick 2 out of them all I feel is a bit mean, so we didn't bother.

''How awful for him! I would never expect hand outs from godparents for my DDs.''

yea these kids have plenty of aunties/uncles but 'uncle Ron' who lives alone and is childless with two dead siblings is obviously a better financial arrangement. Uncle Ron also is lonely and very naive, he feels it's a great honour to be asked and is their 'guide'. The crafty parents play him perfectly.
They invite him everywhere- birthday parties, Sunday lunch, shopping, Xmas dinner....knowing full whack that he will cover the cost of everything. He even goes to birthday parties at their house and provides all the food.

It reminds me exactly of this situation where Elton John is asked by other celebs to be the godfather for their kids when I always thought it was because they knew the kids would inherit well from it and Elton has even admitted his godkids would receive the bulk of his fortune.

www.express.co.uk/celebrity-news/909265/Elton-John-retirement-retiring-godchildren-Beckhams-song-net-worth

None - baptised in NICU.

I don’t think five is too many. How lovely for a child to grow up with so many godparents.

DC1 has three. DC2 had five but one of them died when DC2 was very young. We didn't expect to be able to have a second child and knew DC2 would be our last so two of their Godparents were asked because of their support during the secondary infertility period and pregnancy.

Dd1 - 2
Dd2 - 2
All are Catholic.
Plus they were present at dd1's First Communion and Confirmation.
Dd2 hasn't made her First Communion yet.

DS1 1 godfather 1 godmother
DD1 1 godfather 2 godmothers
DD2 2 godfathers 2 godmothers
DD3 2 godfathers 2 godmothers
DS2 2 godfathers 2 godmothers

DH has a huge family

I'm not a Christian so my children are are not baptised or christened and don't have godparents.

My mum was sort of raised church going (never went in my life time though and not really a believer) and as a result I was christened and have the traditional godparents (2 GM 1 GF). Its never really meant much in our family, I think when I was a child most people were christened out of habit.

@rattlemehearties

I'm not sure about relatives being godparents - they already have a role in your child's life (auntie, uncle etc).

Agreed. I always think asking family is weird. My godparents are my aunts

I don’t see making a friend a Godparent as a “reward” for your friends - it should be based on religious conviction.

I agree. It just makes a mockery of the whole idea of being a godparent. I don’t understand people who choose friends to be godparents as a favour to the friend. They need to have the child’s best interests at heart.

Also, being a godparent is nothing to do with being a legal guardian. They are two entirely different things. I believe that any godparent has to be baptised themselves as well.

@RampantIvy

I don’t see making a friend a Godparent as a “reward” for your friends - it should be based on religious conviction.

I agree. It just makes a mockery of the whole idea of being a godparent. I don’t understand people who choose friends to be godparents as a favour to the friend. They need to have the child’s best interests at heart.

Also, being a godparent is nothing to do with being a legal guardian. They are two entirely different things. I believe that any godparent has to be baptised themselves as well.

It wouldn’t be a reward for my friends. All three have shown they have my DD’s interests at heart. They’re all great with my DD1.

I only mentioned the legal guardianship thing because there was a thread recently that mentioned godparents being legal guardians. DDs would go to my parents should anything happen.

@WinstonsWeirdVole

One of my godchildren has about 5 other godparents and I personally think it’s completely bonkers. I’m not religious but if I did want godparents for my DC, I’d pick one or two. Having a whole gaggle of them feels like the parents are hedging their bets and the bond with the child isn’t quite the same if you’re one of several IMO.

Completely agree with this. 5 or 6 seems mad.