To tell ex to stop trying micromanaging me

[UseMyName]

He text me this morning to ask if our son put eczema cream on (he told me to remember to do this at drop off less than 24 hours ago) and to make sure he eats healthy and exercise.

I told him I don’t need to be micromanaged or told how to look after him and he’s told me I’m out of order to say that to him (this was all by text).

He is just trying to control you. He won’t stop when it is being effective so you just ignore him. I suspect that is part of why he is your ex.

Ignore any texts from him unless they are about collection/drop off?

Not unreasonable at all. If this is a regular thing and he really won’t cut it out consider getting a spare phone, blocking him on your current phone and having him text the spare one for everything. Keep it switched off until you want to see any messages or talk to him.

Ignore his messages when he comes out with shit like this. Maybe save the messages somewhere in case you need evidence of behaviour.

Just respond to stuff that's important, like drop offs, collection, times, etc.

Don't respond.

He's trying to start an argument/dispute.

Also block his number.

Then unblock when your child is with him and then re-block when your child is back with you.

What a twat 🙄 The good news is, he has no power over you anymore, so you can roll your eyes at how pathetic he is, and ignore him.

Just ignore him.

Out of curiosity..... had you put the cream on?

@Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov

Out of curiosity..... had you put the cream on?

What does that even matter(

He reminded you to make sure he ate healthily and exercised???

Is he extremely anxious and controlling? Or are you known for being lax and forgetful?!

Ignore his messages.

He sounds ridiculous.

Just don’t engage

If I ignored him then he would say I’m ignoring DS’s health - he has completely worn me down over the years.

@Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov is that you ex?

@UseMyName

If I ignored him then he would say I’m ignoring DS’s health - he has completely worn me down over the years.

@Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov is that you ex?

I would ignore him and ignore any follow up comments.

Or are you known for being lax and forgetful?!

I would say I’m not - I’m guessing he would say I am?

Reply once: 'I am fully aware of ds's health and medical needs. Do not tell me how to do this. If you have a genuine concern you are free take him to the GP or apply to court if you think his needs are not being met whilst in my care. I will not be responding on this matter again.'

Then carry out your promise and ignore.

‘If I ignored him then he would say I’m ignoring DS’s health - he has completely worn me down over the years.’

Well ignore that too. Just keep not engaging

@titchy

Reply once: 'I am fully aware of ds's health and medical needs. Do not tell me how to do this. If you have a genuine concern you are free take him to the GP or apply to court if you think his needs are not being met whilst in my care. I will not be responding on this matter again.'

Then carry out your promise and ignore.

I like this idea.

Or play his game.
Hi ex just to let you know ds just had a huge poo. (text at 6 am)
Hi ex, ds has been up coughing ... Text at 3 am.
Ds is awake and feeling a bit off ex - text at 4am.
Do it for a week..
Every single poo and every meal time.
Ex, ds ate 13 peas and 11 carrots.
Ex, ds ate 3 potatoes today.

You need to find a place from which he cannot get to you. The fact that he has worn you down says that he is continuing to control/abuse you which I am assuming was your reason to get away to begin with.

You need a phrase - I'd keep it as non aggressive as possible - that you can send back each time if you don't feel you can ignore - which you should definately try.

Maybe something like like " what I do with DS on my time is of no business of yours" - I'm sure someone else will come up with something less PA!!

What hold does he have over you that you think him saying you ignore DSs health is an issue? Is all access court ordered, maintenance through CMS?

If I ignored him then he would say I’m ignoring DS’s health - he has completely worn me down over the years

Ignore that message, and the one after that and the one after that and so on.

If he carries on, change your mobile number and set up an email address he can use to contact you. Only read the emails once a week, or keep that number for your ex only and switch the phoneon once a week or when your ex has your dc.

You are a fully functioning adult and parent, and as such can look after your dc without his help.

Don’t give him any fuel at all.
No response, no answer not a flutter of recognition

Ignore ignore ignore

What you’ve said already is perfect and it’s your last word on the subject

Well done

He wants to annoy you, he wants you to be angry and to reply to his messages.

So don't. Ignore him.

If you can't ignore simply send him a 👍 for every single text he sends.

Have you put cream on
👍

Has he had enough water
👍

Has he eaten today
👍

Did he sleep ok
👍

What did he have for breakfast
👍

How was school
👍

Be brave. What’s he really going to do?

Really? Who would listen to him?

Literally nobody

So ignore away!

Have you done the freedom programme?

He sounds really mentally abusive