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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask neighbours not to use washing machine late at night?

149 replies

ILoveMyMonkey · 12/04/2021 06:35

So new neighbours moved in a few weeks ago and have started putting on a late wash that spins at about 10:30 at night. The problem is that the walls between our houses are ridiculously thin and the spin cycle sounds like a chinook helicopter is inside our house. Last night it woke my son up, it really is horrendously loud.

We didn’t get on well with the previous neighbours and 2 separate attempts at asking them to keep the noise down (they really were noisy and had no consideration at all) was met with utter contempt and made them worse so DH thinks we shouldn’t say anything to these new neighbours as he feels it won’t actually achieve anything, whereas I feel it might be worth a try.

So...
AIBU - don’t say anything they won’t give a crap and can do washing regardless of how it affects you.

YANBU - say something they might not realise how shit the walls are and most people are considerate of how their behaviour affects others.

OP posts:
SpiderinaWingMirror · 12/04/2021 06:56

Where is your machine sited?
I would say to them
"As the walls are thin, we agreed with the last neughbours not to run machines after 9pm. Would that agreement work for you?"

Sleepisoverrated150 · 12/04/2021 06:58

Great suggestion from @SpiderinaWingMirror!

AfterSchoolWorry · 12/04/2021 06:59

I don't use my washing machine after 6pm for this reason. I didn't have to be asked. Ours sounds the same as your neighbors, I find it mortifying thinking of the disturbance it causes them.

I think you should do as SpiderinaWingMirror suggests!

Imreaaaaady · 12/04/2021 06:59

I would wait a few weeks before you say anything. Our new neighbour knocked on our door twice to complain about noise issues - things that couldn't be helped, mind (think along the lines of a cupboard hinges are creaky) - and she did it really soon after we moved in. The first time I was incredibly apologetic and promised to sort it out, the second time not so much because it became apparent that she's incapable of making allowances for day to day noise. Now I feel incredibly bitter any time she does anything inconsiderate because she's set the tone as being someone who complains about everything but is also oblivious to the nuisances she causes.

Arbadacarba · 12/04/2021 07:05

Have you spoken to them much yet? I ask because if you haven't, it might not start things off on a good note if your first real interaction is a noise complaint. I would try to get on a friendly footing with them before bringing it up.

Otherwise I think spider's wording is excellent.

notanothertakeaway · 12/04/2021 07:07

@SpiderinaWingMirror

Where is your machine sited? I would say to them "As the walls are thin, we agreed with the last neughbours not to run machines after 9pm. Would that agreement work for you?"
I love that approach. Polite and reasonable
Sunshineday1 · 12/04/2021 07:10

Agree @Imreaaaaady give them a chance to settle in, it may even be they have so much washing to catch up from, from the move! I know I did.

Username7521 · 12/04/2021 07:19

Playing devils advocate if they are out at work all day when are they meant to wash their clothes? Come home at 6:30, put on the wash for the days clothes cycles takes 2.5 hours and the spin is last?
On the other hand they might not know how thin the walls are, but I definitely wouldn’t go around and tell them to stop doing something in their house for one of your first meetings as I think it will get you off on the wrong foot.

I would let it settle in, and Honestly wouldn’t say anything as that’s part of sharing walls.

Sunbelievable · 12/04/2021 07:20

For the spin cycle to finish by 9pm, I'd have to start my washing machine at 6:30. We are not even home from work/activities then in non Covid times.

The alternative would be to get up and put it on at 5am 🤷🏻‍♀️ Which I imagine might also wake you up?

There are fancy ways to delay the wash on some machines, but not on basic ones.

So I think you are being a little unreasonable, sorry. It's the bane of living in modern houses with thin walls. Sound nuisance laws run from 11pm, which they are outside.

iamtherealwalrus · 12/04/2021 07:22

It’s a perfectly reasonable request so you need to gauge if they are reasonable people.

There’s a good chance they don’t know how annoying it is. I grew up in detached houses and so had no idea of the issues noise from neighbours can cause. I would have wanted to know if I was bothering my neighbours.

Womencanlift · 12/04/2021 08:20

@AfterSchoolWorry that might work for you if you are at home all day but most people (covid aside) are out at work. As a pp said to finish at 9 the cycle would need to start at a time most people are still not home from work

The alternative is they set that to run in the morning and then leave for work. But then some people don’t like a dryer running when they are out the house because of a fire risk

OP get to know them first and see how they will tend to react but please remember a dryer is a very normal house noise and they shouldn’t have to consider your DS when running their own house chores

LonstantonSpiceMuseum · 12/04/2021 08:29

You should definitely let them know at some point - I never realised it was noisy until my downstairs neighbours told me (I have hearing problems). However I do get your reluctantance - some people are just awful and hate having to change anything for someone else. And it can make it worse 😬
Maybe give it some time, get some information before making a decision. Start taking their bins out for them or something (without saying anything) but at least something they'd notice so you set a precedent of doing things for each other. Then bring it up!

skirk64 · 12/04/2021 08:35

I voted YABU, not because your are actually unreasonable, but because I think your DH is right that it won't achieve anything positive.

Decent people know that washing machines are loud so don't use them that late at night, unless, perhaps, they have it in the basement of a detached house half a mile from their nearest neighbour.

The problem with noisy neighbours is not that they don't know their behaviour affects others, it's that they simply don't care. If you go to them with a polite request at best nothing will happen, but there's a good chance they will be rude to you or deliberately make noise in future.

You can't solve the problem of noisy neighbours, you can only move and in so doing pass the problem to the new occupant.

Cactus1982 · 12/04/2021 08:35

Why is that so Mumsnetters are so intolerant normal neighbourly noise? There was a thread the other day from someone who was whinging about the noise her neighbour made when she put her children to bed. I mean who even complains about stuff like that?

So no, I wouldn’t say anything. 10.30pm isn’t even that late and might be the only time they are able to do a wash. It’s part and parcel of living close to other people that you have to put up with stuff like this. The fact you had problems with other neighbours suggests that maybe you are little oversensitive and need to develop a bit of resilience.

I sometimes wonder you’d all cope if you lived next to really noise people. As in loud thumping music at all hours of the night etc..

Popfan · 12/04/2021 08:37

I'm shocked people's washing cycles take 2.5 hours!! Don't you have a quicker option? My general clothes one is about an hour (maybe less!)

Tinydinosaur · 12/04/2021 08:39

Not everyone has time during the day and it's an essential activity. Not like they've got music blaring. I wouldn't say anything, certainly not when they've only just moved in.

I'm also wondering if, since you had noise issues with the previous occupiers, it could be more a "you" problem than a "them" problem.

You need to make allowances for people living their lives when you are attached to someone else's house.

underneaththeash · 12/04/2021 08:40

They're probably doing it for a cost saving, electricity is cheaper at night.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 12/04/2021 08:40

I can't imagine complaining about the noise of a washing machine.

Yes, it can be loud but people need to wash their clothes!

SchrodingersImmigrant · 12/04/2021 08:41

@SpiderinaWingMirror

Where is your machine sited? I would say to them "As the walls are thin, we agreed with the last neughbours not to run machines after 9pm. Would that agreement work for you?"
Yup.

They really might not be aware of how shit the walls are. I got caught by surprise like that as well. Nice and polite conversation is the best way to go.

Sunbelievable · 12/04/2021 08:42

@Popfan

I'm shocked people's washing cycles take 2.5 hours!! Don't you have a quicker option? My general clothes one is about an hour (maybe less!)
Lots don't. My "eco" cycle is three hours.
notapizzaeater · 12/04/2021 08:44

@underneaththeash

They're probably doing it for a cost saving, electricity is cheaper at night.
It's not cheaper till after midnight and only if you're on economy 7 meters
SchrodingersImmigrant · 12/04/2021 08:44

Why is that so Mumsnetters are so intolerant normal neighbourly noise?

It's not a mumsnet issue. It's a wuality of build issue. Other countries managed to build semis where you don't hear a neigbour fart... I know. I lived in some and you just would not hear them let alone be able to hear a conversation

bunnytheegghunter · 12/04/2021 08:45

10.30 is not late as pp have said by the time you get in from work and put a load on it's near enough that time when it's finished. I regularly put a load on before bed and swap it over when I get up. Daily living noise is acceptable and it's something you will have to get used to. It's not antisocial to wash your clothes. Having music booming out in the early hours is a different matter. But even then at 10.30 I wouldn't say anything.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 12/04/2021 08:47

So no, I wouldn’t say anything. 10.30pm isn’t even that late and might be the only time they are able to do a wash. It’s part and parcel of living close to other people that you have to put up with stuff like this.

Why is not a "part and parcel of living close to other people" to NOT make noise late? 10:30 is late for washing machine noise.
It's always same on these threads. "You live next to people, get used to noise or move to secluded place". VERY rarely it goes "You live next to people, if you wnat to make noise, move to secluded place".