AIBU to ask neighbours not to use washing machine late at night?

[ILoveMyMonkey]

So new neighbours moved in a few weeks ago and have started putting on a late wash that spins at about 10:30 at night. The problem is that the walls between our houses are ridiculously thin and the spin cycle sounds like a chinook helicopter is inside our house. Last night it woke my son up, it really is horrendously loud.

We didn’t get on well with the previous neighbours and 2 separate attempts at asking them to keep the noise down (they really were noisy and had no consideration at all) was met with utter contempt and made them worse so DH thinks we shouldn’t say anything to these new neighbours as he feels it won’t actually achieve anything, whereas I feel it might be worth a try.

So...
AIBU - don’t say anything they won’t give a crap and can do washing regardless of how it affects you.

YANBU - say something they might not realise how shit the walls are and most people are considerate of how their behaviour affects others.

@marchez

It does, I thought timers were quite a standard feature, certainly every machine I've used over the past few years has had one.

I've never owned a machine with a timer - and our latest machine is only two years old, so not ancient.

My wash cycle is 1 hour 20 mins .I have longer cycles but dont use them. I have a quick wash which is about 20 mins or so, Freshens laundry but need the longer was to remove stains .

I've never owned a machine with a timer - and our latest machine is only two years old, so not ancient.

Our washer/dryer has a timer and it will be four years old this year. It’s my favourite feature about as well as the 20 min wash cycle.

I am amazed that so many people have little sympathy ,as they live in Detached homes and cant understand why anyone in a flat/semi or Terrace may be a bit fed up ! We too are lucky enough to live in a 30s Detached ,however well remember neighbours when I was a child lived in a maisonette and small DC running about late at night. I think 10.30 is a little late but you cant force her hand .Maybe have a chat and get to know them better .Then try for a quick word then

‘ I am amazed that so many people have little sympathy ,as they live in Detached homes’ that’s a bit of an assumption is it not?

I’m sure many of us on the thread who have disagreed with op won’t be living in detached houses.

My washing machine doesn’t have a timer per se but it does have a delay start button (that I have never used) you can set for 3, 6 or 9 hours. I wouldn’t set it to run while I was out because of the risk of fire. It’s a Zanussi, not sure how old because it came with the house.

I'm with you OP. I think so many people assume by you speaking to the neighbour it'll end up being an aggressive show down - generally not the case when you're just having a nice chat with a new neighbour!

Its not a nice chat with a new neighbour though, its going round specifically to complain about the noise of the spin on their washing machine!!

We rent and our washing machine is part of that, it’s an energy saving one and we hate it. It also takes hours to do a wash and dry. Literally six hours it’s ridiculous. But we can’t replace it as it’s included in our lease and we would have no where to store it even if we did. I’m working from home since we moved here but if I wasn’t I wouldn’t get in till about six, and I would be leaving the house at seven in the morning so if I was to do a morning wash, it would still probably be very early though I know the spin bit won’t happen for a few hours. I will say though, our neighbours are the same and all the apartments are kitted out the same as it’s all owned by the one person. We have thin walls and a toddler and the noise of their spins late dosent really trouble us as because it’s a regular thing we are all pretty used to it now including the toddler who dosent wake. I do suspect though if their machine is that loud it’s possibly in need of a service! I don’t think any machine is meant to be that noisy normally!

I sometimes have my washing machine on late at night, I'm and end of terrace house with my kitchen at the outside wall, between my neighbours home and mine is a thick brick wall, so they wouldn't be any noise. I wash mine because I don't finish work until 8pm and rather my work clothes washed thereand then having come into contact with bodily fluids, like faeces, spit and blood
Do you know what their jobs are? A bit of give if they work in either health or care so I'd say you'd be unreasonable to have them have dirty work clothes sitting in their kitchens rather than get them washed right away

My washing machine doesn’t have a timer per se but it does have a delay start button (that I have never used) you can set for 3, 6 or 9 hours. I wouldn’t set it to run while I was out because of the risk of fire. It’s a Zanussi, not sure how old because it came with the house.

That’s what I considered a timer. We have a Zanussi as well and live in a semi-detached house. The spin cycle or washing is a bit loud and lasts for 5-10 minutes on a quick cycle (rarely use a normal cycle in our house) other than that you can only hear it going if you are listening for it. I can hear the neighbours machine only if the house is completely silent and I’m in the kitchen.

@ILoveMyMonkey you are absolutely not BU!

DH and I spend our lives ensuring that we are being neighbourly and not loud because we live in a house with thin walls. Our neighbours will also no doubt know how thin the walls are but it doesn't stop them crashing, banging, screaming, whooping until the early hours or playing their music at the highest level. We have on a number of occasions decided not to put the washing on as we know how long it takes and how noisy it is, so it would be disruptive to neighbours! I just think it's common courtesy.

People are inherently selfish now. I'm sick of being told 'you live in a semi/terrace, if you don't like noise don't live there'. Why is it never 'you live in a semi/terrace, if you can't keep neighbourly noise levels don't live there'?

Could you go round and say 'hello, nice to meet you - just wondered if you've heard a weird/loud vibrating noise about 10.30? Not sure if its the pipes but it's waking us up, is it waking you up too? etc.

If you ever need to vent please feel free to message me - hope it gets better for you x

Yabu, it's normal household noise. You can't control them like that. What if they finish work at night and need to wash a uniform for the next day? There wouldn't be another option.

As they are new neighbours it might be worth a try, but don’t expect much.

People are inherently selfish now. I'm sick of being told 'you live in a semi/terrace, if you don't like noise don't live there'. Why is it never 'you live in a semi/terrace, if you can't keep neighbourly noise levels don't live there'?

Oh stop it. Theres a huge spectrum between "afraid to use washing machine" and "all night raves", and most people are perfectly nice and neighbourly. You have to understand that not everyone shares the same idea of what is noisy though!

Of course everyone should be considerate, but you don't personally get to define what considerate is, or what noisy is, and then call everyone who doesn't match you exactly selfish and noisy. That's incredibly self -absorbed of you.

Isn’t ‘wakes up my child’ noisy by any reasonable definition?

Isn’t ‘wakes up my child’ noisy by any reasonable definition?

Not in the slightest. Your child might sleep through a bomb going off, or might be woken up by a phone ringing. Of course its not a reasonable definition!!

I sympathise both ways.

Most washing machines take so long these days. The standard cycle on ours is 2.5hrs and should you need to add additional rinse cycle(s) or run the intensive cycle you are looking at 3.5hrs. That means putting it on in the morning is not feasible as most people don’t take 2.5/3.5hrs to get ready for work. That leaves getting home, which would be 7pm for many and most would prioritise kids and dinner prep and then put a load on which means it finishes around the time the OP has the problem.

On the other hand I can see this scenario would be frustrating for the OP if one parent is a SAHP and the other gets home at 4pm daily as that gives much greater scope for putting a load on earlier.

I can get becoming more sensitive, when your neighbours moved in they had building work for three months which was loud. Excessively so. Whilst I was trying to homeschool a young child who is very noise sensitive (not NT), wrangle a toddler who needs to nap and has a DH who was working from home and we were in lockdown so unable to go out to avoid it. All whilst they lived elsewhere blissfully unaffected. It was hellish. It has made more more sensitive to noise I think, if I hear anything from them now I instantly grit my teeth and think 'for fucks sake, will you shush!'. I was never really sensitive to noise before and never heard the old people who lived there.

But I do appreciate that every day noise is fine and I am actually pleasantly surprised by how quiet they are now they've moved in. Helps that actually our houses are well built and I can't hear them anywhere near as much as I feared I would, the odd door slam etc but that's about it.

OP I would mention it to them nicely, in passing. I wouldn't make a special trip to bang on their door about it and make it a massive deal. But next time you're passing the time of day with them I'd just nicely ask them if they wouldn't mind avoiding it late as it disturbs you.

I also don't get this mentality that people have to put up with excess noise. It's wrong and selfish. Normal living noise fine (and I think a washing machine is normal living noise, sorry OP, but it's a bit inconsiderate to do it late if you know it's an issue). Surely living around people you should be considerate to others in your vicinity, not expect^^ people to just put up with you disturbing them! I'd be mortified if we were really bothering people if there was something I could do to prevent it. If everyone was considerate to those around them then we wouldn't have these issues at all, rather than some people being totally inconsiderate and others having to put up with it!

@dottiedodah

I am amazed that so many people have little sympathy ,as they live in Detached homes and cant understand why anyone in a flat/semi or Terrace may be a bit fed up ! We too are lucky enough to live in a 30s Detached ,however well remember neighbours when I was a child lived in a maisonette and small DC running about late at night. I think 10.30 is a little late but you cant force her hand .Maybe have a chat and get to know them better .Then try for a quick word then

I’ve never lived in a detached home and grew up in a Victoria terrace. So you are wrong.

Could you video it on your phone and show them how noisy it is in your house? Chances are they’re not aware. I did this once to show my neighbours how loud their kids were being when they were out (screaming / banging around etc for ages, way beyond normal playing noise levels and loud enough that I was struggling to get my poorly baby to sleep, but was easy to hear on a video I took - it clearly wasn’t something the parents would have ordinarily tolerated as they only did it when the parents were out). They were incredibly apologetic and I think having a video and going in with a ‘I don’t think they realise how loud they’re being but...’ type approach helped. We’ve not had an issue since!