AIBU to ask neighbours not to use washing machine late at night?

[ILoveMyMonkey]

So new neighbours moved in a few weeks ago and have started putting on a late wash that spins at about 10:30 at night. The problem is that the walls between our houses are ridiculously thin and the spin cycle sounds like a chinook helicopter is inside our house. Last night it woke my son up, it really is horrendously loud.

We didn’t get on well with the previous neighbours and 2 separate attempts at asking them to keep the noise down (they really were noisy and had no consideration at all) was met with utter contempt and made them worse so DH thinks we shouldn’t say anything to these new neighbours as he feels it won’t actually achieve anything, whereas I feel it might be worth a try.

So...
AIBU - don’t say anything they won’t give a crap and can do washing regardless of how it affects you.

YANBU - say something they might not realise how shit the walls are and most people are considerate of how their behaviour affects others.

Maybe suggest to your neighbour to put an anti-vibration mat under their washing machine and you will do the same. We started using one last year under our washing machine and it helped.

I can't believe how long the wash cycles are that some people are using - 2.5 hours?! Insane.

My washing machine takes 28 minutes. Am I doing something wrong? 3 hours??

I remembered living in council flats growing up and it was just the decent, neighbourly thing to consider your neighbours in regards to issues such as noise levels, hoovering, washing machines etc.

@SchrodingersImmigrant

So no, I wouldn’t say anything. 10.30pm isn’t even that late and might be the only time they are able to do a wash. It’s part and parcel of living close to other people that you have to put up with stuff like this.

Why is not a "part and parcel of living close to other people" to NOT make noise late? 10:30 is late for washing machine noise.
It's always same on these threads. "You live next to people, get used to noise or move to secluded place". VERY rarely it goes "You live next to people, if you wnat to make noise, move to secluded place".

This!

Modern washing machines have ridiculously long cycles. I have an 'Eco' cycle that takes 4 hours, I kid you not. I never use my washing machine overnight as I am in a terraced house and walls are paper thin. I use the delay timer and it comes on early morning. I also am wary of machine on overnight due to possible fire, always been a bit nervous even though we have smoke alarms. I do not complain to my neighbours about anything. Two of my neighbours ended up in a years long dispute, one of them had complained about noise and things were never the same between them till one of them moved. It's very difficult I admit. I often think people do their washing overnight due to the ridiculously long cycles, but they don't realise just how noisy the spin cycle is.

My washing machine takes 28 minutes. Am I doing something wrong? 3 hours??shock

Not washing yours laundry properly? I've never seen a proper wash cycle in 28 minutes, thats always a refresh cycle or quick wash, for a small load that isn't actually dirty.

There are different cycle lenghts, people😂
We wash on lower temp and some food stains don't wnat to go un anything less than 2 hour cycle. Some just slightly dirty things can happily go on 1 hour and some even on 30 min.
I usually use the 2 hour one. Rarely less.

I voted YABU but I don’t really think you are being unreasonable as I would be aware of this with neighbours however I just don’t think it will achieve anything.

I do have a one hour, ten minute cycle that washes my clothes fine. If Im doing bedding and towels which really need a sixty degree wash, Im looking at a minimum two-three hours. It's ridiculous but I programme my machine to begin at say 6 or 7am when my neighbours are up for work or school. So far no complaints.

Maybe invite them in to listen, they probably don’t realise.

Before I had children, I'd often be out of the house by 5.30am, and not back until somewhere between 7-9pm because of long commutes. Doing laundry is just normal living noise, and it has to fit in with people's schedules. Putting on a load of washing in the evening, it overnight, was normal I thought?

Not everyone had the luxury of being able to do it in the days.

I mean do people honestly really go oh no bets not wash my clothes because of the neighbour? A spin doesn’t last that long it’s not like they are throwing parties. My washer goes on when it goes on. If my toddler wet the bed I may of even put it on at 2am before. I’m not going to leave pee sheets festering.

Maybe I should complain to my neighbour who’s bad is behind my bed that they can’t bath after whatever time I fancy going to bed that night... or maybe just suck up the fact the neighbour can bath whenever they want. Just like my toilet backs into the other neighbours bedroom I’m not going to not flush.

No many typos and autocorrects.

You can definitely get variable tariffs, which depend on demand and green generation supply, which get cheaper early evening.

I'm on one for car charging with Octopus and the rate drops steeply after 7pm (and occasionally pays me for using in the middle of a windy night).

They might be on something similar.

Where does it end though, if your walls are paper thin?

Please don't use the washing machine after 10pm...then
Don't have a shower after 10pm/before 7am
Don't flush the toilet, don't use your alarm, don't run on the stairs, don't let your children cry, don't watch TV, don't play music, don't have sex, don't make a sound.....

If your house is badly built, you can't expect your neighbours to run their lives to keep your house quiet. I say that as someone that hates neighbour noise and think most people are loud.

"Quiet time" is considered from 11pm to 7am so I wouldn't say anything. Even if they were washing at 9pm, it would wake up your ds anyway. Your problem is your walls and you should consider soundproofing.

Our shortest was for a normal wash (not delicates or anything) is 1 hour 2 minutes

Haven’t managed to read all the replies as am at work but to answer a few points raised.

Yes the walls are super thin - we can hear their kettle bubbling when it boils that’s how crap they are. When they first moved in they washed everything - a minimum of 3 loads a day for 7 days and we let it go as moving in noise, they’ve now not done any washing at all this last week so it was a surprise that they chose to put a wash on (what I would call) late last night.

They don’t work late, he’s home at 4 every day and works mom-fri and she’s a sahm so it’s not that they don’t have other times to do it either.

I totally appreciate washing machines are a normal part of everyday living but to me consideration of neighbours when in a terraced house should be up there - the way our houses are laid out putting our machine on would have no effect on them but on our other neighbour - we don’t put any washing on after 7pm as our spin is also horrendous and we don’t want to piss her off.

The other neighbours were really very loud and they have affected our sensitivity for sure, they would stomp, bang, crash, scream, shout, knock on the walls, chase each other around, pulled up every carpet in the entire house etc at ungodly hours all the time, the parents then moved abroad leaving their 17 year old to live alone in the house for 2 years which I’m sure you can imagine was incredibly stressful and even louder with the friends and parties. We only hung on as we knew eventually the kid was going to uni and the noise would decrease.

I can see what you are all saying about leaving it as we haven’t had much contact with them and it wouldn’t make a great first impression. But just to defend myself a bit (as people seem particularly mean on mn lately) I wasn’t going to go round all guns blazing, I was actually going to ask if they could check the machine isn’t touching any walls thus increasing the vibrations to our side, my son is little and had school so I don’t think it’s much to ask for an undisturbed sleep for children (I appreciate to some adults 10:30 isn’t late).

We are looking at moving but these things take time.

Thanks for all the comments (really surprised by how many there are) at least you can always rely on mn to give it to you straight , I will keep reading but I’m in meetings most of the day so might not get round to replying much.

Your household noise will sound just as loud to them. Suggesting your DS shouldn't be woken by a washing machine spin at 10.30pm is precious to say the least and wait til he's a teenager and slamming doors (even the best behaved do).

we don’t put any washing on after 7pm as our spin is also horrendous and we don’t want to piss her off.

But that's your choice and nobody would reasonable expect you you not to do laundry after 7pm. You can't randomly choose to do something yourself and then demand your neighbours do the same.

You say she's a SAHM - maybe one of the children had an accident or was sick all over the place, and she just wanted the dirty stuff in the machine and washed ASAP.

If the walls are so thin that you can hear the kettle boiling, maybe you need to look into some soundproofing, or just accept that you're probably just as noisy to them as they are to you.

@Rukaya

My washing machine takes 28 minutes. Am I doing something wrong? 3 hours??shock

Not washing yours laundry properly? I've never seen a proper wash cycle in 28 minutes, thats always a refresh cycle or quick wash, for a small load that isn't actually dirty.

Our washing comes out fine though. No dirt or smells left on after a 28 minute wash.

Your household noise will sound just as loud to them. but it won’t because of the layout of the houses they won’t be able to hear us unless they stand on their stairs, all their living spaces and bedrooms are on the other side of the house so they would be affected by the people on the other side of them - who happen to be old with no at home kids so very quiet I imagine. It’s hard to describe but we can’t hear our other side neighbour due to the layout.

But that's your choice and nobody would reasonable expect you you not to do laundry after 7pm. You can't randomly choose to do something yourself and then demand your neighbours do the same. demanding and asking aren’t the same thing. I wasn’t going to demand anything. I just think that when you live in close quarters with people it’s common courtesy to think about how you might affect their lives and peace. For instance we’ve always told our ds to be quiet, not to go up and down the stairs on repeat, to walk quietly not stomp, no shouting down, no running around upstairs etc because we don’t want to be noisy nuisance neighbours - why should our neighbour have to put up with any noise from us? She has the right to peace, quiet and to be able to relax.

Clearly though we are in the minority and most people these days don’t behave the way we do 🤷‍♀️.

Again I appreciate the replies and will not say anything- just quietly seethe.

Like I said we’ve made the decision to move but it will take time.

I just think that when you live in close quarters with people it’s common courtesy to think about how you might affect their lives and peace

True, but there is a limit to it. Your walls may as well not exist if they are as thin as you say, are they meant to consider you in every single move they make?
It's not your neighbours that are your problem, its your crappy house.

I would never use my machine late at night or vacuum etc for that reason. It’s a bit inconsiderate. My neighbour’s machine causes my windows to rattle so if she used it late it would be a pretty serious issue!!