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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a 6hr drive is too long for a baby?

104 replies

Hard2Find09 · 11/04/2021 10:50

We are planning a road trip to see family. The drive will take 6hrs without any stops. This is our first long drive and I don't think our 8 month old will be able to comfortably do this in one hit and have suggested that we stay the night halfway. So drive 3hrs after work the first day and then 3hrs the next morning.

Some family feels that this is unreasonable and we should just do the 6hrs in one go. I feel that after factoring in stops for our baby to eat and do nappy changes we will be looking at way more than 6hrs and it will just be too much. AIBU?

OP posts:
Thefaceofboe · 11/04/2021 13:17

I personally would find staying overnight somewhere a chore, however with a small baby I would just stop once or twice.

Skyla2005 · 11/04/2021 13:41

Why can't you stop

Ladyks3 · 11/04/2021 13:44

I said YANBU, but we did a 7.5hr (with no stops) road trip to see family with my 7 month old DS & he did great. We did stop a few times- but we needed to anyway for toilet breaks/snacks/stretch legs. It did take longer, but it wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated. I think you’d be fine either way.

Norwaydidnthappen · 11/04/2021 13:44

You’ll surely need to stop to feed and change their nappy in 6 hours. We went to the Lakes when DS was about 9 months old, it’s about 3 hours away and we stopped once to change him and walk around with him a bit.

Original poster
Hard2Find09 · 11/04/2021 13:45

Unfortunately it’s not possible to leave early due to work commitments. If we drove the 6hrs with too many breaks we won’t make checkin time at the hotel at our destination. If we left the next morning we would arrive so late and with such an upset baby the trip wouldn’t be worth it.

OP posts:
Ofallthethings · 11/04/2021 14:12

Both mine would scream in the car seat from boredom at 7 months old, once they'd finished their nap. Can you break it into 2 hour stints, within stop somewhere you can spend an hour or two to relieve the babys boredom? You need to advise family this journey will take probably at least 9 hours in one day because you will have to stop (won't they need to eat or go to the loo in 6 hours? ) or split it and stay overnight. I'd probably try to do this in one day and leave early, but you need to do what you think will work best . Don't they remember what small babies are like? Strange that they would expect you to do this.

CustardyCreams · 11/04/2021 14:18

Yanbu If your baby cries a lot in the car, I simply wouldn’t go. How horrific for you all.

If you MUST go, eg to see a dying relative, then yes split the journey over two days. We drove to south of France this way when baby was 11 months. Our baby liked the car but gets fidgety after a while so we stopped for an hour every nap cycle so baby could wriggle, look around, change nappy, have cuddles, feed.

On a six hour trip, I would aim to set off when baby is ready for a nap, then when baby wakes up do your level best to entertain (suggest new toys, books, sing songs, and one adult in back of car with baby). When you spot signs of baby being annoyed, plan to stop, make it a good long stop so baby starts getting tired, then set off again.

I might manage the drive in a day, setting off at 9.30 am and arriving at tea time, but only if baby was happy in the car. Otherwise yes, split the stress of the trip over 2 days.

GrolliffetheDragon · 11/04/2021 14:18

We went on a trip that normally took 4 to 5 hrs when DS was a baby. It took 8 hours and was absolutely exhausting.

I wish we'd split it over two days!

rainbowthoughts · 11/04/2021 14:23

@KoalaOok

If you google it the latest advice seems to be no longer than 30 minutes in a car seat for a 4 week old 2 hours at a time for a baby over that. So you'll need a break every 2 hours at the least.

What would be the point in googling the advice for a 4 week old baby though?

Drawingablank · 11/04/2021 14:26

There are a lot of guidelines on how long to have your baby in a car seat as it isn’t the best angle for them. I’m not sure what it would be for an 8 month old but basically the more you can limit it the better.

ladyvimes · 11/04/2021 14:29

We’ve been doing 5 hour drives to visit family since mine were tiny babies. When they were really small we stopped twice. Once for a quick leg stretch, loo trip, change, feed, etc, and a longer stop for lunch.

My dc’s travel really well now and can manage long distances.
As long as you have a couple of stops you’ll be fine.

Kokosrieksts · 11/04/2021 14:30

You are making it too big of a deal. Make 2-3 stops on the way to stretch your legs, get baby out to feed, change nappy. At that age they are likely to sleep big part of the journey.

I’ve made multiple 24 hour drives across Europe from 6 weeks on.

LouiseTrees · 11/04/2021 14:30

Ignore your family but if you go the day before them and stay somewhere then you’ll all arrive at the same time rather than them getting their first and moaning you are not there.

Cornettoninja · 11/04/2021 14:34

You sound like you’ve thought it through and this is the best plan for your family so balls to what anyone else thinks really (unless they’re offering to take your baby in their car).

If there are no other transport options (no idea what kind of train network Australia has or if that’s even a viable option for your destination) then it is what it is and whoever you’re joining should probably try and stop being so unpleasant about you trying your best to make it work.

ladyvimes · 11/04/2021 14:35

Also there is no research into how long babies can be in car seats for, only that they shouldn’t be in them overnight as a bed. Th guidelines say 2hours and then have a break and a stretch.

The risk of breathing difficulties come from a study by Bristol Uni I think, which says small babies could suffer breathing difficulties if they slump forwards in an upright car seat. If you’re using a reclining car seat like the baby carriers, and have a mirror or another person in the car so you can regularly see baby then you’ll also be fine. This isn’t a problem with older children who can obviously support their head/neck.

Bul21ia · 11/04/2021 14:35

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Some family feels that this is unreasonable and we should just do the 6hrs in one go

Unless any of this family are actually travelling in the car with you, then frankly, it's none of their business.

Exactly! It’s a long bloody way!
UnbeatenMum · 11/04/2021 14:37

I have one DD who hated the car as a baby. I used to do part of the journey after her bedtime (i.e. starting at 7pm) as often as possible as she would then sleep. I would time other journeys around her naps and sometimes DH or I would sit in the back and entertain her. Still awful at times though. I wouldn't have done a 6 hour journey at all, although I see you are seeing family. Luckily all ours are within 2 hours.

Luhou · 11/04/2021 14:37

It is recomended for safety reasons that you stop every 2hrs for at least 20mins. And my daughter wants food every 2hrs anyway!

We drove 4hrs with our 5month old, we stopped once. Timed it so first 2hr leg was her normal lunch time nap then food when we stopped. And then she was awake for another 40mins, then asleep again until we arrived.

I downloaded peter rabbit onto my phone for entertainment!

But ultimately it is whatever works best for you

Hawse · 11/04/2021 14:38

We had to do this (in one go) a few months back for a dying relative. It was insanely stressful, and one person always had to be in the back to entertain the baby and keep her from crying. Night driving on the way there was the best (as she mostly slept, and we stopped 2x); however, we drove in the daytime going home, and it took us an AGE to get back as we had to stop almost very 1.5-2 hours. I think the idea of splitting it into 2 (3 hour) drives sounds more sensible if you can afford it.

LaganinaBubble · 11/04/2021 14:40

Some family feels that this is unreasonable and we should just do the 6hrs in one go

Why do some of the family get to vote their opinion? Unless they're in the car with you and you're expecting them to pay for overnight stay it's none of their business.
Personally if it was me with an 8mth old baby is stay somewhere overnight.

TheMotherlode · 11/04/2021 14:44

I’d probably try to push through as I hate long drives and would want to just get it done with, but don’t think you’d be unreasonable to stop overnight if that suits you better. Not sure why your family are so bothered about you wanting to do that.

itsgettingwierd · 11/04/2021 15:07

I wouldn't do 3 and 3 but I would stop!

So few hours and stop for 30 minutes and then again.

But surely if you go up after work and stay over night somewhere and so the other 3 hours the next day you'll actually be there longer?

Because I don't recommend doing it all in one evening after work.

Although I have found travelling during babies sleep time is always a bonus Grin

JudgeJ · 11/04/2021 21:38

@Porcupineintherough

Kids only restrict you as much as you allow

Only if you dont give a shit about them. Otherwise you need to factor them into your plans and then a lot depends on the child (and your nerves).

Obviously one has to make allowances for the children but it doesn't mean that their needs are the only ones to be considered. Children thrive best in a home where every simple thing isn't turned into a mega-drama.
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 11/04/2021 21:40

I think I’d probably prefer the split between two days. It could be quite fun!

But I think this is very much a personal thing and no one is right or wrong.

Milkshake7489 · 11/04/2021 21:47

Tell your family what you are doing rather than discussing it with them. It's your baby so it's your choice.

They can go ahead (and/or sulk) if they want.

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