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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that a 6hr drive is too long for a baby?

104 replies

Hard2Find09 · 11/04/2021 10:50

We are planning a road trip to see family. The drive will take 6hrs without any stops. This is our first long drive and I don't think our 8 month old will be able to comfortably do this in one hit and have suggested that we stay the night halfway. So drive 3hrs after work the first day and then 3hrs the next morning.

Some family feels that this is unreasonable and we should just do the 6hrs in one go. I feel that after factoring in stops for our baby to eat and do nappy changes we will be looking at way more than 6hrs and it will just be too much. AIBU?

OP posts:

Tinydinosaur · 11/04/2021 11:10

I would split the journey. It's a long time to be in a car seat and with the amount of stops it'll take you 10hrs. I really could not be arsed to be travelling that long!

yikesanotherbooboo · 11/04/2021 11:11

Encourage your family to go ahead and take it at the pace that suits you. We have driven long journeys many times with DC of all ages and just stopped when they were awake ,hungry, needing nappies or fractious . Stop for a while, wear the baby out a bit and set off again. I'm not a fan of the overnight driving as I found it very tiring but I know lots do it. We would tend to set off early in the morning eg 4-5 am and hopefully young DC would have some night time sleep left in them so that we could eat up a good few miles early on. Then we had a lot more flexibility later for longer or more frequent stops and if things were going badly we would take an ad hoc overnight stop and do the last bit of the journey first thing the next day. Your family probably feel they are being supportive but they are actually dictating what you do and adding to your stress. As an aside I don't think 6 hours driving is too bad really.

DinosaurDiana · 11/04/2021 11:12

You’d need to stop for a nappy change , so just let baby have a crawl on a blanket for 10 mins then carry on.

ImAlrightThanx · 11/04/2021 11:20

You need to do whatever works for you and your child.

idontlikealdi · 11/04/2021 11:21

I wouldn't stay overnight but I would plan a longer journey with lots of stops.

KoalaOok · 11/04/2021 11:22

If you google it the latest advice seems to be no longer than 30 minutes in a car seat for a 4 week old 2 hours at a time for a baby over that. So you'll need a break every 2 hours at the least.

KoalaOok · 11/04/2021 11:23

If your child cries in the car it is going to be very hard to travel for that long anyway.

KoalaOok · 11/04/2021 11:24

The Lullaby Trust has info on car seat safety that might be useful.

Kitkat151 · 11/04/2021 11:27

I did it all the time when my 3 were little....couple of stops on the way is fine.....you don’t need an overnight stay....unless you want to

HopeForTheBestExpectTheWorst · 11/04/2021 11:27

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn on request of the poster.

Yutes · 11/04/2021 11:28

A 6 hour drive without a break is too long for you and a baby.

Macncheeseballs · 11/04/2021 11:29

I've done it several times, and on my own, albeit with pit stops

AsterixGoesCamping · 11/04/2021 11:32

I have done it several times with babies that age. It has never been an issue. We planned more regular breaks but cetainly doable.

Having said that, if you want to do it in two bits, it's up to you and I don't think your family should make any comment on that.

Pogmaasal · 11/04/2021 11:35

It isnt recommended to have a baby in the seat that long anyway. We have done this length journey to visit the ILs regularly

Stop every couple of hours for at least 30 mins, if you do a nappy change and a feed, or feed yourself with them out of the seat, then you'll be fine.

I wouldnt let family dictate to me how I could travel with my baby. If you want to stop half way for the night then do, it isnt essential if you build breaks in, but I suppose it depends what time in the day youre leaving as well

redfoxred · 11/04/2021 11:36

My parents live 6 hours from me so have done the trip a few times with DD. We have to go on the M25, always hit traffic and have to stop every 2-3 hours for feeding/food/change, plus it's recommended to not have baby's in car seats for too long at a time. So it ends up being more like 8-9 hours which is just too much, even for me, and by the end DD just cry's no matter what.
DD is now 2, planning to go in august and stopping overnight at a airb&b in the middle. Extra money but worth it for less hassle and a happier baby

Wotsitsarecheesy · 11/04/2021 11:36

We drove from the Midlands to South Devon with a 4 month old. The journey there was fine - lots of substantial stops/rest breaks over 1 day. Coming back was a nightmare. Traffic jams meant we were stuck in the car for hours, and baby screamed constantly. We never did it again with a baby, unless we could pretty much work out a route/stops that was extremely unlikely to be disrupted by traffic. I think a 6 hour jouney in one day is fine if you can plan in a couple of substantial breaks on the way.

ShirleyPhallus · 11/04/2021 11:37

@Ohnomoreno

I drove from London to Edinburgh alone to get married. My son was 9 weeks old. I stopped every 2 hours to feed him. Took about 10 hours in total. I kind of loved it and he seemed fine.

I’m glad it was all ok but just to say that now this is against the advice from the lullaby trust (just in case anyone with a 9 week baby reading and unsure)

museumum · 11/04/2021 11:42

At 8 mo my ds would need feeding and/or changing every two hours at least so that’s at least two stops of at least 30mins. Making it more like a 7-8 hour journey. I could guarantee at least one of those driving periods would involve a lot of crying as ds would be restless and wanting to get out / move about / stand up.

I’d probably prefer to split it over two days like you plan.

AliceMcK · 11/04/2021 11:44

Tell them to sod off, they can do what they want, you do what’s best for your baby. I would 100% cut the journey in half, always have done this with my DCs. Other family are use to long car journeys even when DCs were small, what they do is their business. If we are doing a family holiday type thing, we get there when we get there. One of my DCs would always scream in her car seat, it makes driving really hard. I can also guarantee one or more of them with be car sick so there are always unscheduled stops. I remember 2 of mine also getting diarrhoea on long journeys, one was about your baby’s age so still in nappies but it went all the way up their back and the car seat needing cleaning mid journey. The 2nd time one of my other DCs was just out of nappies, luckily we had some old pull-ups still in the glove box to put on them to finish the journey, we had to make 2 more stops to clean them but at least the car seat wasn’t effected again.

I would definitely do as you are doing, half after work, hopefully baby will sleep. Then do the other half in the morning. What difference would it really make to the others if you arrived the next morning when they are not long waking up?

SnuggyBuggy · 11/04/2021 11:46

As a healthy adult I couldn't do 6 hours sitting in a car without even stopping, I'm getting twitchy just thinking about it.

anxietyanonymous · 11/04/2021 11:48

Its never going to work trying to travel in a
Convoy with one or more vehicles having children/differing needs and also-what is the benefit of a convoy?

I don't think a stop off overnight is necessary (unless you want to) and my children have been subjected to similar trips from being babies and are very patient good travellers now. Once you have or two under your belt you become a pro.

You need to plan to be in the car for nap time to get as many miles under your belt as poss and id recommend total flexibility. If you are near your scheduled stop time and baby has just dropped off personally id drive as far as i could whilst they were asleep/happy and stop when they were grumpy etc.(provided driver still feels good obvs).

Have a bag within reach with a fave book or toy or appropriate snacks or a song they like or tv prog (if not too young) and use this to keep everyone sane until it is save to stop.

Also take turns driving and keeping fractious baby happy. Shouldn't be all on you. I found driving a welcome break at times.

CongealedCrags · 11/04/2021 11:48

Your family would change their minds if they were in the same car not a separate one!

SpnBaby1967 · 11/04/2021 11:49

Its plenty doable, but depends if you want to.

We frequently travelled when ours were babies to the in laws which is a good 7 hours drive, plus a few stops. I'd say the youngest age we had one of ours for this trip was probably 4 months old.

Never been awful. Kids mostly slept on the drive. We stopped every 2-3 hours for feeding, bum changing and leg stretching.

We've travelled both during the day and overnight.

It can be done, just needs some planning.

NoSquirrels · 11/04/2021 11:50

Do it the way you feel most comfortable with.

The other car driver’s opinion is entirely irrelevant because they’re not the ones coping with a baby who’s not a fan of the car!

At that age, we’d always plan a big trip around a predictable sleep time, whether that was setting off at bedtime, getting up really early to leave when baby would have another big sleep (e.g. breastfeed them and then leave at 5am), or lunchtime to catch the longish afternoon nap, aiming to drive for 3+ hours in one go. Then the rest of the journey would likely be in 1.5 hour chunks with significant rest stops - maybe looking for a place to spend part of the day if we’d left early morning, not just motorway service stations. I appreciate this might not help in Aus with the big distances between things!

But definitely do what you feel is best for you and baby, not the other car driver who will be in a completely different scenario and therefore gets no deciding vote.

PicaK · 11/04/2021 11:52

People can have short memories about what travelling with babies is like.
Stopping over is very sensible - travel late. Get Up early.
As new parents you'll be tired as well. Don't risk driving tired.
Felt the guilt and emotional blackmail about this. Made us feel awful.
Ignore. Put your kids first.

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