Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a 6hr drive is too long for a baby?

104 replies

Hard2Find09 · 11/04/2021 10:50

We are planning a road trip to see family. The drive will take 6hrs without any stops. This is our first long drive and I don't think our 8 month old will be able to comfortably do this in one hit and have suggested that we stay the night halfway. So drive 3hrs after work the first day and then 3hrs the next morning.

Some family feels that this is unreasonable and we should just do the 6hrs in one go. I feel that after factoring in stops for our baby to eat and do nappy changes we will be looking at way more than 6hrs and it will just be too much. AIBU?

OP posts:
JustMeAndWheatley · 11/04/2021 11:54

My children screamed and fussed pretty much non-stop in the car at that age. Car journeys were torture.

Twizbe · 11/04/2021 11:54

One thing we've done that worked well was get baby up at usual time, give some milk and then into the car in their pjs. Drive for an hour and then stop for breakfast. The traffic was usually better at that time in the morning so we'd get further than we thought.

Get baby dressed, do another couple of hours and stop for a lunch / visit somewhere like a zoo or park. Baby could get some air and stretch and we got a rest too.

Then do the final stretch while they were having their usual nap in the car. We might do another afternoon stop along the way if needed.

Giraffaelina · 11/04/2021 11:54

YANBU. As far as I'm aware, the advice is to only keep babies in car seats for two hours Max at a time. So for a longer drive, this is when you'd stop and take a break, let them wriggle around, change nappy, snacks etc...

Giraffaelina · 11/04/2021 11:55

Sorry, just saw that you are not in the UK.

JudgeJ · 11/04/2021 11:58

We lived in Germany when ours were very small and we regularly travelled back and forth for far longer than 6 hours, it was far easier than when they were a bit older, getting to the end of the road 'Are we nearly there yet?'
Why does it have to be non-stop? We had our regular shit-stops for feeds and nappies!

Klarajannsson · 11/04/2021 11:58

My experience of letting my kids restrict me as much as I wanted them to started and ended with a long drive to the Vendee when eldest was four months' old. It was an absolutely nightmare all round. She screamed all the way from Caen to somewhere in rural West Brittany, with us stopping every twenty minutes at one of those picnic stops. We probably stopped at every one going west. Every time we had fed, changed, played with her we put her back in the car and she recommenced screaming. After about four hours when we had all almost lost our minds, we found an emergency hotel in the middle of nowhere and she was so wired she went to sleep at 1am. We then drove to the Vendee. As it was morning she screamed 50% less until we got there.

So I say, do whatever is best for you.

Ps my son would have been fine going any distance in the car, he slept all the time but every baby is different.

LucyCC · 11/04/2021 11:59

YANBU, we’re splitting our 6 hour drive in a few weeks into 3.5 and 2.5 hours with an overnight stay. It’s my ears which would have to listen to the my 9 month old crying if we had to do 6 hours in one go so if my family didn’t like it, tough.

Changingwiththetimes · 11/04/2021 12:01

Its not non stop though is it? You will be stopping to change and feed yourself and baby.
I would do it in one day. But it is very important to take regular breaks, not just for the baby but yourself, especially if driving alone.
We regularly drove four hours and always stopped for a meal, toilet break and change from staring at a road.

BobBobBobbin · 11/04/2021 12:02

6hrs is the upper limit of what I’d attempt in a day with a carseat-hating baby.

Figure on it taking at least 9 hours though when you factor in breaks. Even a quick ‘loo break’ ends up taking ages by the time you have (depending on age) factored in nappy changes, feed or drink/snack, toddle about or just a bit time out of car seat. Then you can bank on them doing a poo 5 mins after you’ve set off again!

I’d personally try to do it in a day, setting off early and get there at tea time with a decent break for lunch and a couple of shorter ad-hoc stops.

nameisnotimportant · 11/04/2021 12:06

A baby shouldn't be in a car seat for longer than two hours without a break. It is proven to be a sids risk, so I wouldn't risk it. I would do it over one long day but stop very regularly for awake time and a feed etc.

PatsyStone39 · 11/04/2021 12:07

We used to do 14 hours with our baby. We had the Jane Matrix II lie flat car seat though. He would sleep pretty much the majority of the journey.

Jessbow · 11/04/2021 12:11

i'd get up early, ( 5am?) lift the baby & put into car seat, disturbing as little as possible.

Stop for a break at 7-8am, feed baby , get yourself decent breakfast & leg stretch.

you could then be there for lunchtime ( even with another coffee/nappy stop at about 10.30.)

Oblomov21 · 11/04/2021 12:22

Different people can manage different driving length. I can drive for more than 2 hours easily. I can easily, and prefer to drive for 3. Then have a short break. 20 minutes. I used to drive Devon to London all the time, loved it.

All these posters saying don't drive for too long, stop all the time. Not everyone wants to stop every 20 minutes, you know! Some people can easily drive the whole of the uk, or across lots of USA states, and adore it.

hellcatspangle · 11/04/2021 12:26

To be honest if your baby hates the car seat I definitely would either split the journey. What time does it get light at the moment? Could you get up and go at 4am or something so baby would go back to sleep in the car, or wouldn't they settle back down?

BobBobBobbin · 11/04/2021 12:31

@Oblomov21

Different people can manage different driving length. I can drive for more than 2 hours easily. I can easily, and prefer to drive for 3. Then have a short break. 20 minutes. I used to drive Devon to London all the time, loved it.

All these posters saying don't drive for too long, stop all the time. Not everyone wants to stop every 20 minutes, you know! Some people can easily drive the whole of the uk, or across lots of USA states, and adore it.

Did you miss the bit about the baby?
PerspicaciousGreen · 11/04/2021 12:31

YANBU to think six hours straight with a baby would be awful. However, I'm surprised you feel the need to stop overnight. Personally I'd prefer to have a long day than to organise a baby sleeping in a strange hotel. I'd aim for either 2h then hours stop or 3h then 90 minute stop, depending on the roadside options en route.

We don't have a car so when we did long drives in my mother's car to go on holiday when he was about that age, we tried to drive during his usual naptimes as much as possible, and then the rest of the time was doing whatever I could to entertain him and distract him from The Horror Of The New Environment Of The Car. Books, new toys, music... But he did cry a bit and that was sad.

If you're travelling "together" but in separate cars then you can all set off together and they can drive at their pace and you can drive at yours and you can reunite at the destination.

BigWoollyJumpers · 11/04/2021 12:32

We regularly drove to Italy with small babies. TBH they slept most of the time. We did one overnight stay, in the Alps, but did Surrey to the Alps in a day with one stop for lunch, and then a shorter second day. Always found it pretty easy. It's more tiring on the adults than the babies.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 11/04/2021 12:35

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Some family feels that this is unreasonable and we should just do the 6hrs in one go

Unless any of this family are actually travelling in the car with you, then frankly, it's none of their business.

Completely agree.

We did long trips with our children when small, Sometimes they slept right through and it was easy, but then they were wide awake and ready to go with a disrupted routine when we just ready to collapse.
Other times we had to do frequent stop offs and it really made it a much longer journey.
So on long drives to say S of France we always had a stop over.
Ultimately, it all depends upon how baby reacts.
I'm sure it will be OK but you should do what you want. If you are already knackered and expecting a difficult night then knowing you get to break the journey can be a real relief and mean you actually enjoy this journey instead of arriving frazzled.
Ultimately its up to YOU not your relatives. You are the parents and you know what suits the three of you best. Plus, start as you mean to go on and set your boundaries now if you are getting pressure about how you should make a car journey

Vivi0 · 11/04/2021 12:39

I think you need to tell your family that you will be driving accordingly to your baby’s needs and comfort, not theirs, and that you will be meeting them there. They don’t get to decide!

peak2021 · 11/04/2021 12:44

Six hours without stops is wrong, indeed dangerous. You should stop ideally every two hours, even if just in a lay-by and a walk around the car.

Whether you stop overnight is up to you.

Kitkat151 · 11/04/2021 13:02

@Oblomov21

Different people can manage different driving length. I can drive for more than 2 hours easily. I can easily, and prefer to drive for 3. Then have a short break. 20 minutes. I used to drive Devon to London all the time, loved it.

All these posters saying don't drive for too long, stop all the time. Not everyone wants to stop every 20 minutes, you know! Some people can easily drive the whole of the uk, or across lots of USA states, and adore it.

.....Misses the point completely
WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 11/04/2021 13:05

I would be guided by the baby, not the other car of adults. If you're driving 'together' for safety (Australian outback) then just tell them what you are doing & they'll have to fall into line. You have the baby, not them.

It depends so much on the individual baby. But if I had one that hated the car, I would pack up everything on Friday night, leave during the night/early hours of Saturday night when the baby wakes. And just take the day as it goes, stopping when the baby needs to (or when one of you needs a loo break/coffee).

Much less stress

If it's not for 'outback safety reasons' I would not travel in convoy but I hate that kind of thing. Much prefer to set my own schedule.

Branleuse · 11/04/2021 13:06

My kids were used to long car journeys from quite young. Is it possible to just see how it goes? Might be fine with 2 or 3 stops and music on the stereo, but depends on babys temperament i guess

Heysiriyouknob · 11/04/2021 13:07

My 7 month old can take a hour before she's had enough, cries and pukes. I wouldn't even contemplate it.

Lancrelady80 · 11/04/2021 13:12

I thought advice was only around 2 hours in a car seat before a break when they are babies? It's bad for their backs and could cause problems with breathing. (Advice from NICU about breathing, 4 years ago.)

I certainly wouldn't be happy doing it in one go ...but then you won't be, because baby will need feeding and changing. So I suppose you could do it in one day if you got up early to allow 30-45 mins time out of the car seat twice during the journey.

Tbh, you have a baby to think of. Family don't get a say. Either they go along with what suits you and baby, or they go at their own pace rather than in a convoy and see you when you get there.