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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Left out of Compliments

81 replies

likeamillpond · 10/04/2021 19:15

Something happened today and I just want to make sense of it.
I know it's not important in the grand scheme of things so please don't be too harsh with me.
Ok so I belong to a hobby that's just started back up again. Outside.
We usually meet inside but are doing plein air because of the rule of six.
Yes it's art!
Ok.
So at break time one of the women gave each woman a compliment (looks based). She went round the whole group and gave a compliment, except me.
I was a bit put out but because I'm old enough and ugly enough, I let it wash over me. A case of I like this hobby and I'm not going to let anything spoil it.
However, at the end of the session we all congregated again and the same thing happened. Love you're hair,, you look well, have., you lost weight? Etc etc.
Once again,; No compliments to me.

I'm genuinely curious as to what's going on here.
The one dishing out the compliments did blank me a couple of months before. She didn't approve of my family circumstances at the time
For the record, im happy to give compliments .
I just want to make sense of things.
Why do women do This?

OP posts:
Shutupyoutart · 11/04/2021 16:35

She sounds childish and shallow i have a 'friend' who regularly does this,it used to bother me till i realised it says so much more about her then it does me. don't pay a bit of heed to her, i bet your fucking fabulous op 😁

nitsandwormsdodger · 11/04/2021 16:44

What are your family circumstances? The mind boggles? A baby with every married man in the village? Dogging at the pta ?

Brindisi32 · 11/04/2021 16:50

It's a childish, spiteful attempt to remove you from their intended clique. Grooming the others is a fake, trashy way of gaining friends. It's nice of them to show you how immature and petty they really are. Smile sweetly and ignore them, enjoy your art and hopefully the others will have clocked this prat.

covilha · 11/04/2021 16:54

Something like this happened to me- one lady, the senior one.paid a personal compliment to each of the other ladies present based on their looks. Left me out completely. At one level I thought fair enough as I would not wish her to lie on my account at another I felt a bit excluded- After all why compliment everyone but me? Awhile later I heard her and another lady talking. The other lady said, ‘covilha is...?’ And she replied ‘covilha is beautiful.’

EmeraldShamrock · 11/04/2021 16:55

You find them everywhere, some people are only happy excluding others.
Ignore her.
I'm be tempted to bring a treat in a couple of weeks and forget her piece.

PrincessPopple · 11/04/2021 17:09

Please don’t let her ruin your hobby for you.
If you can be bothered, IME being nice to these people makes them worse - they tend to come round if your a little standoffish with them. BUT please don’t allow her behaviour to consume you - I’m sure others in your group wouldn’t behave this way, but I know it’s horrid to feel to singled out xx

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