to think most people my age have a sibling?

[Goblin74]

32 years old.

I'm lying here putting my 9 month old to bed and I started thinking about how he'll likely be an only child. It led me to think about how common it is today to have only one child and I started thinking about my own childhood (I'm an only child) and the more I thought about it, the more I realised all my friends growing up had siblings. I was fortunate enough to have lots of friends growing up and I'm going through every one of them realising they all had at least one brother or sister.
The kids on my street for example: 11 houses all with kids. I was the ONLY only child.
Primary school: about 8 of us, two only children (and the only other one I can think of)
High school: again a group of 6 (totally different to primary). I was the only only child.
Today: I have 7 close friends. All have siblings.

Was it normal in the late 80s/90s to just have more than one child? Or have I just somehow managed to avoid being friends with only children?

If you're in my age range, do you have brothers and sisters?

I'm 1960s child and was the only 'only child' at primary school. (Disclaimer I later got much younger half siblings). There was another 'only' in my class at secondary school.

Among my mum friends, one is an only child, and both of her parents are too. She has no aunts and uncles, nor cousins.

In contrast to Heather above, all of us were and are happy to be only children!

40% of married couples currently have one child.

I am an only child. There was just me and one other in my class at school in the 80s. I hated it and would have loved a sibling. I remember the other girl was given a dog by her parents to keep her company and I really resented at the time that I was not allowed a sibling or a dog.

I'm 30 and an only child. Perfectly happy, never wanted a sibling.

I love the demographics of this! How people make decisions and the factors involved. I had one sibling and he was violent and abusive but I have had 3 children. Others I know who grew up with violent siblings have chosen not to have children or have only children. So much is at play in these decisions.

I wonder if any research has been done on number of children people have compared to the number of siblings they have.

There seems to be a trend where children with lots of siblings tend to have much smaller families themselves. But maybe that’s just the population as a whole having fewer children. I would love to know if only children are more likely to have only children than the general population. Thinking of my mid-forties contemporaries I know 4 only children. They have had 0,1,2 and 3 children so it’s impossible to draw conclusions.

It’s just all fascinating!

When I was 6 in 1985 there were only 2 only children in my year of 60. DD is 6 and there are 13 only children in her class of 32.

I'm 40 and grew up in a little village with only 9 kids in my year. 3 of the 9 were only children so quite a lot for such a small group.

DH and I are both early 30s. Interestingly I had lots of friends who were only children and always thought the average was 1-2 dc. I talked about it with dh once and he totally disagreed - said he thought the average was 3 kids as most of his friends have at least 2 siblings and some quite a few more! Guess it depends where you grew up and who you know.

I'm 37 and an only child. DH 39 and only child, as is his mum. We have one child and will also be sticking with one. We liked the calmness of our upbringings, no squabbling and noise and we both feel we wouldn't have had the same opportunities if we had siblings. If we had another child we would need to move house therefore increasing our mortgage. We wouldn't be able to afford the ability to go on lots of nice holidays and we want to be able to give our DS as much help as possible in the future if he needs it. I had help to buy my first car and my first home and I wouldn't have been able to be where I am now if I had other siblings

I'm older than you, but my best friend is an only child. I wish I had been.

I'm an only child. My adult daughter is an only child.

I'm in my early 40s and have a (much younger) sibling in her early 30s. My friends as a child were a mix of only children and ones with siblings, I would say about a third of them were only children.

Yes and no.

Technically yeah, three. Seven, nine and fourteen years older. Both from my parents’ first marriages.

The next oldest I have been estranged from for five years now, at great personal strain. Had therapy for it numerous times, still have nightmares every week. He’s an awful and dangerous man but there’s a lot of love for him too and I struggle to move on emotionally.

Next eldest, no beef but never been close. Only see or speak to him once every few years at a gathering.

Next eldest, never met. Ran away when I was born into a painful life of teen pregnancy, drugs, and crime. Still in that life.

So while I do have siblings I feel like an only child, only i wish so much I truly have been as I wouldn’t be going through the pain the next eldest has brought to my life. Which had a knock on effect on a lot of things.

DC will be a solo kid. DH is one of five with his own troubles with his siblings.

@MangoSeason

I love the demographics of this! How people make decisions and the factors involved. I had one sibling and he was violent and abusive but I have had 3 children. Others I know who grew up with violent siblings have chosen not to have children or have only children. So much is at play in these decisions.

I wonder if any research has been done on number of children people have compared to the number of siblings they have.

There seems to be a trend where children with lots of siblings tend to have much smaller families themselves. But maybe that’s just the population as a whole having fewer children. I would love to know if only children are more likely to have only children than the general population. Thinking of my mid-forties contemporaries I know 4 only children. They have had 0,1,2 and 3 children so it’s impossible to draw conclusions.

It’s just all fascinating!

As I posted previously I am one of 8 siblings and loved growing up in a large family we are still exceptionally close. 1 and 3 of my siblings all have 1 child only and not be choice yet people assume that having grown up in large family we all choice to have 1 child only which is not the case. That said I’m ok with having 1 child and it never bothered DD who is now 19.

The comment above from someone saying they spent £35k so as to not have one child is such a nasty thing to say, can’t fathom how someone can think like that. I get wanting your child to have siblings but the poster inferred only children are somewhat less than pleasant people.

I’m 27 and an only child.
Thinking about it, none of my friends were only children growing up. I’m trying to think of my classes and I can think of one other who was an only child (he also didn’t have a middle name which I thought was strange

I have three children & may even go for number 4! I love a big family, having not had that growing up.

Parents had multiple miscarriages after me & then divorced.

@hellomom

Who said it's becoming normal NOW to have only one child? Not a single person I know that has only one child or only wanted one child. Most people want Atleast two to give their first child a sibling. Back when I was at school, I found it normal for English families to have just the one child. A lot of my English friends and classmates were an only child.

Statistics show 1 child families are more prevalent now than a few decades ago

‘One consequence is that only children are becoming the norm. In the UK, 40 per cent of married couples have only one child and, among unmarried cohabitating couples and single parents, the share is even higher.

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.ft.com/content/89dbabf8-b442-11e9-bec9-fdcab53d6959

I'm 30. The vast majority of my friends at school had one sibling. There were slightly more only children than three child families. I can't single of a single schoolfriend with more than two siblings.

Of my current friends, many are planning not to have children at all. Of the others, people are equally split in wanting one child or two. I am pregnant with #3 and have one friend with three already (who might have more!) That said, given my friends are in their thirties, there's time for most of them to change their minds and have more children than they originally planned, whereas you can't purposefully have fewer than you've got already.

Also, DH has a half-sibling at such an age gap that he identifies as being an only child. He was very happy to be an only child and is a well-balanced human being. I'm just not convinced that a sibling actually would have been the magical solution to all the lonely onlies. I think you have to put more effort into facilitating friendships with an only, but it's very possible to be lonely with a sibling if your parents aren't keen on you having a social life and your sibling isn't automatically your best friend.

I'm in my 40's and an only child. I struggle to think of more than 2 other people I know/have known who are also!

@Theswitch

I’m 27 and an only child. Thinking about it, none of my friends were only children growing up. I’m trying to think of my classes and I can think of one other who was an only child (he also didn’t have a middle name which I thought was strange

I have three children & may even go for number 4! I love a big family, having not had that growing up.

Parents had multiple miscarriages after me & then divorced.

I don't have a middle name, either 😁

Yes I think its usually at our age (I'm close to your age and have a sibling). Growing up all my friends had siblings. I have met some similarly aged only children as an adult but not many admittedly! I can think of 2 I know fairly well (both a tiny bit older but still under 40)

33 and an only. I don’t remember being the only growing up but yes, all of my close friends (roughly 8) had siblings

33 and an only child. I wasn't the only 'only' but the vast majority of my friends did have at least one sibling.