to think most people my age have a sibling?

[Goblin74]

32 years old.

I'm lying here putting my 9 month old to bed and I started thinking about how he'll likely be an only child. It led me to think about how common it is today to have only one child and I started thinking about my own childhood (I'm an only child) and the more I thought about it, the more I realised all my friends growing up had siblings. I was fortunate enough to have lots of friends growing up and I'm going through every one of them realising they all had at least one brother or sister.
The kids on my street for example: 11 houses all with kids. I was the ONLY only child.
Primary school: about 8 of us, two only children (and the only other one I can think of)
High school: again a group of 6 (totally different to primary). I was the only only child.
Today: I have 7 close friends. All have siblings.

Was it normal in the late 80s/90s to just have more than one child? Or have I just somehow managed to avoid being friends with only children?

If you're in my age range, do you have brothers and sisters?

I'm 56 and an only child. I don't remember any other only children in my class.

Both my parents are dead, I have an elderly aunt by marriage, and no cousins. I'm divorced with two adult DC. I'd love to have an extended family.

I only had about 3 in my class though some others on the year group.

Could it also be due to fertility treatments (and less commonly surrogacy)? These weren't options so some of today's only children from those wouldn't have been possible in the 70s so they wouldn't have existed at all rather than being only children if that makes sense.

A couple of years ago I had a Chinese colleague who'd grown up in the one-child system - she said that she, partner and all of her friends were quite incredulous at how/why any parents would contemplate having two children, and how would anyone manage.

Mid 40's and I have a couple of close friends who are only children (we're pre-IVF era kids so that might be a factor) and I have a couple of friends who only have one child (one I know is through choice, the other I'm not sure).

I'm 34, older db is 36 today, younger db was 32 last month. I don't think any of my friends were only children. I only remember one of db1s Friends being an only, he called mum and dad Mrs and me g and me and little bro Me sister/brother, it always felt so formal and odd.

I have 4 dc and certainly for the older two, none of their friends are only children.

I don't know anyone my age who is an only child. I know of three teenagers who are only children. They all seem to need constant entertainment.

I think a combination of reliable, widely available contraceptives and the increase in women entering higher education and becoming well paid, breadwinners are a big factor. Fewer "accidents" and more people leaving it later to start a family. As someone said above relative poverty in a family seems to be linked with a higher number of babies born. It all makes sense that people are just having fewer kids overall so that's going to mean smaller family sizes.

I am one of 3.

2.5 years between me and elder sister- she was born 18 months after the marriage then I popped up as a companion- completely 'expected', absolutely 'toeing the line' tick!

BUT then...9.5 years between me and younger sister. Which meant an unthinkable 12 years between first and last. This was very rare at the time, even given it was the 1980s, and quite the talk of the (admittedly tiny and insular) village.

My child is one of 1.

She is 23 and quite rare in her peer group being an only. Some do have siblings close together, but the majority have siblings 8+ years apart.

Tides turn I guess.

Never could understand why anyone cares how many children other people have.

I'm 36 and honestly can’t think of anyone i know now or from school etc who was an only child. Really racking my brains... i must know one 🤔🤔

@M0rT

I'm an 80s baby and in Ireland...I met my first only child when I started secondary school...she almost had unicorn status it was such a novelty I know a few onlys now and from 25 down it gets very common. I think as a pp said there is no best way, some people get on great with their siblings some people never stop plotting their murder and everything in between...has to be the same for onlys some love it some hate it and most just think of it as normal life.

I’m 48 and Irish and met my first only child in secondary school, the entire class were fascinated by her and everyone wanted to be her best friend as she always has such nice things and went on amazing holidays and had a huge posh house. I had 7 siblings and was amazed she had no siblings.

Sadly although our mother was super fertile and my father only had to throw his trousers over the bed post and my mother was pregnant, DD is an only child and 3 of my siblings also only have 1 child all due to fertility problems and not choice, we’d all have loved big families.

Growing up I knew two ‘one child’ families One had parents who both had disabilities and the other child was in a single parent family, she never knew her dad.

In my daughters Reception class 4 out of 28 don’t have siblings.

I'm 39 and an only child. I know three others of around my age. It's unusual I guess, but not strikingly so. My child will be an only, I have no desire for more children and had a happy childhood myself.

I'm early 30s and don't know any only children. Thinking back I know zero only children from any aspect of my life, past and present.

@Paddingtonthebear

Never could understand why anyone cares how many children other people have.

I guess it’s more of an observation on current family size dynamics versus a few decades ago. Certainly in Ireland large families were the norm And yet only one generation on and only children are a lot more prevalent.

My DM (age 88) is an only DC, one of my closest friends is an only DC ... our DS is an only DC. My DM, even now, has a huge circle of friends & lives a busy and sociable life (pre Covid), I don't know if it's because she grew up an only DC and has always made a real effort to make friends.

I just looked back at an old primary class photo and 3were only children. So 10% (out of a class of 30). I was an only for 10 years if that's even a thing so didn't count myself in that statistic but I suppose it would depend on the test group so 4 out of 30 for a while.

Although I have three now and we're I live that's definitely more uncommon than one! I get quite a few comments about having a large family whereas I thought it was an 'average' amount (2 or 3)

I’m 29 and I am not an only child but I know a lot of them my age.

My exH is 52 and an only child. He was born 7 years after his parents married and lateMIL really had to be persuaded into having him. Even though she was a reluctant mother she was an excellent one, far better than my Catholic mother (of the same age) who had 3.

I’m 23 and know plenty of people my age without siblings! But you’re right, having 1-2 siblings does seem to be the norm. It wasn’t common for people I grew up with to have more than 2 actually

I'm an only child (in my mid thirties) and didn't know many other only children growing up. It seems to be much much more normal to have an only child nowadays. I would say about a third of my DCs' friends don't have siblings.

I didn't know many only children when i was young. Now I know lots - most of DS's primary school classmates were. Mostly this was due to age of the Mums when they had their first. Of my close friends there are 2 with 1 child - one had their first at 40 and was unable to have more after that, the second friend wanted more but her second husband didn't want more kids.

Yeah I think you've got a point

It's made me think a bit, I'm one of 3 (younger brother & sister)

Thinking back to primary & secondary school, in my close circle of friends they all had siblings usually one of 2 or 3

In my secondary form class, I think there were prob about 2 or 3 only children in a class of about 25 or so

On the flip side, DC1 is at primary and in their class there are 2 only children

So actually not much different from my school days in the 80s/90s!

I’m 46 and an only child. It was very odd and I was the only one in my year at school. I remember in French class learning to say that I have x brothers and y sisters. There wasn’t anything in the book for only child.
My closest friend, who I have known for nearly 30 years is also an only. We have discussed how we consider each other to be a sibling.

I teach and now there are at least two or three only children in each class.